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We are leaving for vacation in a few weeks. Our 16-1/2 yo son would like to skip the 1st three days of it and join us later (us = mom, dad & 11 yo daughter). He is participating in a 7 week summer internship and if he takes vacation the entire week, he will be working later into the summer and cut into the free time before he gets into HS X-country training. Also, he says getting too old for these "family vacations" and rather spend time with his friends.
I (dad) am leaning toward saying yes. Of course, we would be in constant contact with him on those days and have friends and neighbors checking in. My wife is leaning towards no, saying he should go on the entire vacation.
He is generally a very responsible kid. Honor student, lots of xtra cirricular activities, sports. Some of his friends though tend to be a little wild. I'm looking for feedback from parents who have been in a similar situation or any parent who has an opinion.
I am not comfortable with leaving a high school student home alone. Even if the kid is responsible all that has to happen is that one person finds out that there are no adults home and you could have a mob of unsupervised, possibly wild, kids in your house.
My parents won a vacation to the Bahamas for the two of them when I was 16. The trip happened during the school year. They were hesitant to go, but didn't have much money and this would have been their first vacation like that...ever. I was an athlete, honor student, blah, blah, blah. Neighbors across the street were going to check in on me. My older brother lived in the next town over and he was going to check in on me. This still happened...
So...my advice would be to have him go stay at someones house for the three days he still needs to be working at his internship and then have him join you. If there is nowhere he can stay, take him with you and then he will just have to deal.
We used a college student "babysitter" when leaving our teens home. It was a boy from the neighborhood, all he had to do was ferry our sons to sports practice, and sleep here. And, I knew the student's mother would keep an eye out.
It sounds as though your son will be kept busy though, and he does have a legitimate reason to stay behind. I wouldn't rule it out completely, just because he "might" have a party. Is there a friend he can stay with?
Depends on the kid and your relationship with your neighbors. My kids are not yet 16 but if they were and home alone my neighbors would be happy to keep an eye out.
I do think you have to think that it really won't be too long until he's going to college or moving out in his own. But really it's up to you and your family.
Also, he says getting too old for these "family vacations" and rather spend time with his friends.
My answer would depend on where you're going on vacation. Is it someplace educational? Someplace he's never been? Would he benefit from it?
If Yes then I'd say, "Sorry, Bub. Three days with the family won't kill you." If the answer is No (if you're at a hotel pool/Aunt Marsha's for the entire time) I'd find someone responsible to keep an eye on him and make sure he and his friends don't set the backyard on fire while their grilling and having the most fabulous time ever. (Because you know he's going to take full advantage of Mom and Dad not being home.)
No, I wouldn't. I'd worry more about the friends visiting or telling others that your son was home alone. With high schoolers, word gets around quickly and things get out of hand even more quickly. Total strangers can show up with the thought that " empty house, no parents, party time" .
You don't want a scene on your front lawn between your son trying to get rid of strangers, neighbors joining in, the police ,etc.
As others have suggested I'd simply let him stay with a friend where it was known responsible adults would be in the house. Prevent problems and offer it as a compromise to staying alone.
No, I wouldn't. I'd worry more about the friends visiting or telling others that your son was home alone. With high schoolers, word gets around quickly and things get out of hand even more quickly. Total strangers can show up with the thought that " empty house, no parents, party time" .
You don't want a scene on your front lawn between your son trying to get rid of strangers, neighbors joining in, the police ,etc.
As others have suggested I'd simply let him stay with a friend where it was known responsible adults would be in the house. Prevent problems and offer it as a compromise to staying alone.
Both of our children were very responsible teens but I would also have them stay with a friend, with a responsible parent at home.
I trust my teens to be left alone...HOWEVER, I do NOT trust some of their friends. It would be natural for him to talk to his friends about staying home alone for a few days...and that's all it would take to end up with a party at your house. Not that YOUR son would invite friends over, but we all know that it's hard for teens to say "no" and be the bad guy to their friends when they show up and "just want to watch a movie" or something (which easily turns into a party). With all the electronic communication now days...it only takes seconds for the entire school to know you are gone and your house is empty.
I agree with the poster that suggested you have him stay with a friend...he could still come and go from your house, but would need to check in and be at the friends house at night.
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