
11-07-2007, 06:43 PM
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Location: Between Here and There
3,684 posts, read 11,462,779 times
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My 11 year old seems to need more sleep than some of his friends, but that doesn't stop him from arguing with me each night about going to bed by 9pm (he gets up at 7am for school). His friends do go to bed later between 10 and 11pm...but on the rare occaision that he is up later he's a complete bear in the morning and a wreck by the end of the school day...and he knows it.
How do I get him to understand that he needs more sleep and I'm not just being "mean", as of course, he thinks I am?
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11-07-2007, 08:02 PM
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2,222 posts, read 10,257,721 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irishmom
My 11 year old seems to need more sleep than some of his friends, but that doesn't stop him from arguing with me each night about going to bed by 9pm (he gets up at 7am for school). His friends do go to bed later between 10 and 11pm...but on the rare occaision that he is up later he's a complete bear in the morning and a wreck by the end of the school day...and he knows it.
How do I get him to understand that he needs more sleep and I'm not just being "mean", as of course, he thinks I am?
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Is he out with his friends or on the computer at night? The answer is yes, they need lots of sleep. Otherwise, they get cranky.  Trying to get them to do that tho is difficult. Especially if on the computer. 
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11-07-2007, 08:14 PM
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Location: SE Florida
9,368 posts, read 24,157,540 times
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My son gets 9 to 9 and a half a night. He is 13 and goes to bed at 9pm, but he can read in bed for half an hour if he wants to. That way, I figure if he is really tired, he will fall asleep while reading, otherwise, it just unwinds him. He gets no video games on school nights and only watches TV two or three nights a week and then only for an hour at most. I dropped cable down to "basic", so there aren't shows that he wants to watch 24/7.
He uses the computer for his homework and sneaks some IMs and checks his Myspace, but spends less than 15 minutes doing that. I try to ignore it as long as it is just checking in. And the computer monitor is facing the entranceway to the kitchen, so I am back and forth getting dinner ready,so will say something if it gets excessive. And no Runescape on school nights- that's what he sometimes complains about.
I don't know why parents allow their kids to stay up so late on school nights. It hurts their performance in school, makes it more difficult to deal with stress and, as you said, makes mornings a bad scene!
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11-07-2007, 08:21 PM
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Location: Happiness is found inside your smile :)
3,178 posts, read 14,115,773 times
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My parents used to say "That's the rules of our house" or "I'm not their mother I'm yours"
Oh I hated it
And we went to bed around 8.
I think 9 is a good time - even earlier would be better, what time did he go to bed as a child?
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11-07-2007, 08:41 PM
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Location: Chicago
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The thing is that he is going to get upset, but that's fine! I only needed about 7 or 8 hours of sleep as a child, however, my brother (who was 3 years older) needed 12 hours or he was dead. I ended up with a much later bedtime and he was not happy. Point being, children need what they need. If he needs more sleep time than his friends, he might be upset but it's better than him falling asleep at school!!!
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11-07-2007, 10:58 PM
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Location: Between Here and There
3,684 posts, read 11,462,779 times
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Well he does need the sleep and I do hold my ground and send him. I've explained over and over again why, but the arguments still happen nightly and I can't stand to send him to bed like that. I just think it's much nicer to have a peaceful transition to bed...but it doesn't seem possible at this point. He doesn't do the computer thing with his friends none of them do. As for other stuff like TV and video games he only gets an hour a day during the week after his homework is done...so that's long over before bedtime, he's just stubborn and doesn't get why he needs more sleep. No magic to make the fussing stop I guess that is what I wanted. 
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11-08-2007, 05:57 AM
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20,793 posts, read 58,392,306 times
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My twins are 12 and they go to bed at 9:00 and get up at 6:30 am. They usually wake up without their alarm clocks so I know that is just right for them. Most of their friends have a similar schedule. DS15 needed about 12 hours at that age. He also goes to bed around 9:00 but gets up at 6:00 because the high school starts an hour earlier.
When I was 12 I couldn't stay up until 9:00--I was always asleep around 8:00 and slept until 7:00.
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11-08-2007, 07:21 AM
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Location: Chicago
2,467 posts, read 11,810,834 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irishmom
No magic to make the fussing stop I guess that is what I wanted. 
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I wish that I had advice to make your life easier, but I don't! My brother was upset the whole time but he's 30 and he lived  It wasn't until college when he finally agreed with my mom!!!!  Does he have a later bedtime on the weekends?
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11-08-2007, 07:46 AM
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Location: Long Beach, CA
2,071 posts, read 11,637,650 times
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I think a solid 8 hours is enough.
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11-08-2007, 07:51 AM
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Location: In a house
21,956 posts, read 22,932,903 times
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Kids are just like adults--each of us requires a different amount of sleep. You can see your sons need for sleep. Both my sisters and I were in bed at 9:00pm..no questions asked. You make the rules as his mother so you just have to stick by them. Perhaps on one of his "grumpy" days, after a late night, you could point out his not-so-great attitude!!
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