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I would like to try and get her on some kind of ADD medication. After researching it some it seems to be a possibility. I don't know what options I have to get it though. Everything I do is through the local youth mental health center. To begin with I thought it would be best to trust their judgement, but it's been a year and a half with no visible improvement.
They say they cannot prescribe ADD medication without incentive, especially since the type (inattentive ADD) is very uncommon. Her past report cards are nothing but positive. But being the one behind the scenes I know that she struggled a lot for her marks. Even in elementary school she never had time to go outside and playy because she would spend the entire day on her homework. I think this is part of the problem too. I can`t seem to get her counselor to take into account any of my observations.
OP- You are part of the problem here. You are not getting this. This is not just ADD. Your daughter is seriously, seriously ill and she is resorting to cutting herself and taking drugs to try to self medicate her mental pain away.
These are severe mental health issues. She needs both long term counseling by counselors far better than the one she has been seeing and she needs medical help. Schizophrenia often begins in the late teens and early twenties.
This not a situation where taking an ADD drug is going to cure what ails her. You don't even know if that is the problem. You're being given resources to try and find her help. Use them. Looking for short cuts and pretending she is not as sick as she is won't help.
She doesn't seem able to help herself. As a parent, please try to help her.
Yes I don't think wrist cutting is a symptom of add but of something a whole lot more serious. In this kind of case coming up with the diagnosis on your own is dangerous. It's not like deciding between cold or allergy where getting treatment won't much matter. Any hint of suicide means you need serious help and treatment.
In high school my daughter was a straight A student and always an accomplished artist for her age. She has been hired to paint murals for buildings throughout the city. But she has never had any friends or a job. She has always been incredibly reserved. Halfway through her senor year her grades dropped to failing in all classes and she did not graduate because of the englishrequirement. Now she is nearly nineteen, it is two years later and nothing has changed. She hasn't made any attempt to retake her english course and get her diploma or look for a job. She won't talk to anyone either. Generally she spends her days sleeping in her room, and at night I don't know. I went in her room a couple of days ago and found empty bottles of cough syrup that I suspect she is drinking to get high. My other teenage daughter told me months ago about cuts on her wrists.
I don't know how to tackle this situation properly. I'm a single father and the mother is... lets just say incapacitated. I've been sending her to talk to a counselor weekly, but over the two years it hasn't brought about any improvement. We've tried Prozac and it was also ineffective. Her biggest issues seem to be with laziness, anxiety, and avoidance.
Please get help immediately for your daughter. If you feel that she is a danger to herself (or others) most states have a 48 or 36 hours psychiatric evaluation period. Are you sure that she is actually seeing her counselor? Have you shared the cutting/sleeping/cough medicine concerns with the counselor?
If you haven't seen improvement in two years with the counselor I suggest that you find a different one. Also, for some people it can take months or even years to find the proper anti-depressant. So keep on trying.
Obviously, no one on a forum can diagnosis anything but it strikes me as very unusual for a teen to go from straight As to Failing in such as short time. Perhaps something traumatic happened to her. Whatever happened then, she needs help now.
It can be hard to understand why people cut themselves on purpose. Cutting is a way some people try to cope with the pain of strong emotions, intense pressure, or upsetting relationship problems. They may be dealing with feelings that seem too difficult to bear or bad situations they think can't change. It is a way to control something when they can control nothing else in their life.
You don't know when this began, but it seems to me that you need to look into the possibility that she has been abused and is using the cutting to keep the feelings away. Several of the teens I know who were cutters had been abused. Making the pain physical keeps them from dwelling on the intense emotional pain. Cutting can be associated with bipolar disorder although this is not always the case. Also cutting can become compulsive. Even when she may want to stop, she may be unable to resist it.
Some kids who are attempting to stop do some other things instead. They might use ice cubes or snap rubber bands on their wrists. While this sometimes help, it often does not provide the same relief that actual cutting does.
I think something happened to your daughter. A change as sudden as she showed and all the other symptoms...She is suffering through something.
If drugs aren't involved, which should be easy to rule out with a urine test, I think it is possible she was assaulted - maybe raped or almost raped. Something serious happened to her, and you need to help her deal with it.
First, I would just ask her straight up if something happened to her. Even if she says no, if she tears up or otherwise suggests with her body language that the answer is yes, I would consider taking her to a rape crisis center. She can talk to someone there free of charge. Group counseling is also available. They would be able to help her find additional care as well.
Second, I would take her to your local mental health center. She can see someone there on a sliding scale.
All the other things you spend money on - even food - mean nothing if your daughter is dead. Ask your parents for help. Get a second job. Do whatever you have to do. She is crying out for someone to help her. Be the person, regardless of sacrifice, that she can depend on. Be her soft place to fall. Do for her what she is unable to do for herself right now.
You are her father. Don't give up on her.
I also agree that she needs a new therapist. Either she doesn't trust the therapist or the therapist isn't asking the right questions. Also, if she has been on Prozac for some time with no improvement, then it's time to try a new one. I would insist they try a new drug.
It is also true that you can have her taken to the ER and admitted for a psych hold and eval. The cuts on her wrist are enough.
Agree with all the above. The girl is in serious, serious trouble. I think a long term in patient stint at a psychiatric hospital us called for. By long term I mean at least two weeks and maybe a month. And that would be JUST for a proper diagnosis. That's the minimum it would take for skilled therapists, observing her all the time, with no illicit drugs and alcohol in her system, to make a call on what her issue would be. It can't be done in a 72 hour emergency hold, though you may have to start there
After the problem is diagnosed you can seek out whatever treatment is needed. That can be horribly expensive, depending on what's called for and what you can pay. But I don't know that you have a choice. From what you day she is sinking fast.
I hope you can get her on board for more intensive extended treatment because she is legally an adult and you can't make her do anything. If you have to enlist the help of someone she knows and trusts then do so.
Spend some time with your kid..take a walk together and do not put any pressure on them...Lazy---so what....all of my kids grew up to be wonderful....all I gave them was love...nothing else...and my TIME...
Work? Are you so poor you can not feed them? "I do not love them because they are good...I love them because they are my little child"
Be patient and do not try to stick your values and personal expectations on your kid...stick with them no matter what...There is plenty of time...
Your job is to protect...not to control.
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