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I started college at 17 at personally feel I would have benefited me to wait. This is a very individual child thing and I would really hesitate to have a child skip a year just because. I guess I just don't see the point of pushing them through life faster for.... what?
I'll agree as well that reading at an early age doesn't mean a lot. Our son was reading well before kindergarten. Big whoop. At the end of the day, most kids all even out. And frankly, there is a big difference between reading and reading comprehension.
I guess being around a sister in law who seemed to think it was a big deal that her kids were so far ahead of everyone else got old and in the end.... made no difference at all. It's not like they've gone on to do something earth shattering.
Make sure your kids are getting a good education, are well rounded and involved in a variety of things and believe it or not, they will turn out fine. Just my two cents. I agree with Zimbochick - this is a mompetitors wet dream.
I started college at 17 also, but I didn't skip a grade, it is due to having a late birthday. There is no difference between starting college at 17 or 18, other than one can smoke a cig and the other can't.
Reading early gets a child on the path to loving to learn, not that later readers won't love to learn. But there is nothing wrong with fostering that at an early age.
It's not about being a mompetitor, it's about doing what you think is best for YOUR child. That is just a lame term for those who obviously feel insecure about other kids being ahead of their kid. It's just like on birthing boards where when a mom says her kid knows her colors or something trivial and folks go all, oh you think your child is better than mine, Lol. Like grow up. Some kids learn faster that's just a fact of life, no need to feel insecure.
It's not about being a mompetitor, it's about doing what you think is best for YOUR child. That is just a lame term for those who obviously feel insecure about other kids being ahead of their kid. It's just like on birthing boards where when a mom says her kid knows her colors or something trivial and folks go all, oh you think your child is better than mine, Lol. Like grow up. Some kids learn faster that's just a fact of life, no need to feel insecure.
Obviously the mompetition label doesn't apply to all, but, when it walks like a duck......
I started college at 17 also, but I didn't skip a grade, it is due to having a late birthday. There is no difference between starting college at 17 or 18, other than one can smoke a cig and the other can't.
Reading early gets a child on the path to loving to learn, not that later readers won't love to learn. But there is nothing wrong with fostering that at an early age.
It's not about being a mompetitor, it's about doing what you think is best for YOUR child. That is just a lame term for those who obviously feel insecure about other kids being ahead of their kid. It's just like on birthing boards where when a mom says her kid knows her colors or something trivial and folks go all, oh you think your child is better than mine, Lol. Like grow up. Some kids learn faster that's just a fact of life, no need to feel insecure.
Yes, it seems it's fine to ask for advice and resources if you have a child with a learning disability or other setback, but the mention of a child being bright or gifted for some reason gets the claws out and people start making nasty comments. It's just as important to support an advanced child as one with a setback, and to provide an environment where they're stimulated and engaged and challenged, and have peers they can relate to. I was 'gifted' as a kid myself, though no one used that term then, reading by 4, bookwrm, coming up with complex imaginary scenarios and play, speaking like an adult. I remember always feeling like an outsider among kids my age, I didn't understand them and always felt so much more mature than them, I didn't get why they would just run around and shriek like cavemen for no good reason Add to that being painfully shy, and you can imagine the pain and bullying and isolation i've gone through in my childhood. So to me, nothing is as important as providing the proper environment for my son to avoid that, making sure that he is surrounded by kids who he can relate to, with a similar level of maturity and the same interest in learning.
Obviously the mompetition label doesn't apply to all, but, when it walks like a duck......
True. The only mom and dadpetition participants I have seen didn't even have truly gifted kids. There was this one parent this year who was convinced her daughter was the top of the class because she got 800 on the writing portion of the SAT. When I pointed out that 20 (out of 60ish) kids in that grade got 800s she look like I had killed her kitten. The parents who brag, tend to be vicariously trying to prove something about themselves.
In an admittedly gross generalization, parents of the profoundly gifted need to just get out of the way of their kids. The cream rises to the top.
Well only you can decide what is best for your family but I will tell you about two students who just graduated. They were half a set (one boy and one girl) of quads, and all of them were red shirted. They were not the oldest in the grade but pretty close. The reason their father told me they were red shirted was how small the boys were when they were little. He didn't want them to be the tiniest kids in class. As it is they were on the small side of average in their grade.
BUT both of them got free rides in college. The boy got a ROTC scholarship to a top tier school, the girl got into the Merchant Marine Academy. I know that being red shirted can give gifted students a chance to shine compared o their less mature peers. No clearly they are not the norm, but it is something to think about. How much could you potentially save in scholarships by having older kids in the competitive years compared to saving on day care now?
I completely agree with this. Especially since in kindergarten there is such a wide disparity, and it narrows later, when social maturity becomes very important.
When we had the opportunity, we chose against it. Instead, we pushed for subject level acceleration in math. I felt that in reading, she should stay with her peer level, since she does have much more freedom in choosing appropriate reading material on her level. In math, she was advanced two years. This way, she will still be socially with her peers, and competing with those her own age for GPA and class standing, as opposed to being forced to compete with kids 2 years older than her. I felt it was better to let her shine amongst her peers, as opposed to changing her peers so that she would be average. She will do an "extra" year of math through an online program, and it will put her only a year above her peers by high school. It will add depth as opposed to breadth.
I do agree with the OP that I wouldn't just sit back and let her be bored. It is a constant struggle for me to get the school to teach her accordingly. I have the same argument with every teacher every year. No, she is not your "helper", that is your job, not hers, she is a learner. She is expected to learn a full year of material, just like everybody else, and I won't accept any less. Yes, it would be easier for them (and me) to just grade level accelerate, but I don't think that would serve her best (if she was profoundly gifted, I might change my opinion, but she is not).
No college is going to care if she is 16 or 17 when she graduates high school, they are going to care what her GPA and class rank is, so why would I make the competition harder for her, when the prize is the same? Hell, I almost wish I could hold her back, since she is still the youngest in her grade.
You really need to get her tested before you make any decision. You say she's not reading yet, but probably will be by kindergarten. that is not an indication of giftedness, mine all read by kindergarten, 2 of them when they were three. You would need testing, as all parents fancy their kids "special". There is a certain reality when you see how special some kids really are, and when you compare your kids to the average child, they might appear like a genius. But after testing, you can determine between the level of just "gifted", highly gifted, exceptionally gifted, and profoundly gifted. In my opinion, profoundly gifted should definitely skip grades or be home schooled, because they don't stand to have a normal social life to start with (relatively speaking), so they have to be with older kids or adults just to be able to carry on a conversation, they usually hate to be with their own age. But for the other three types, you should really explore your options. Subject level acceleration and home supplementation has worked great for us (so far).
...oh, and it gets easier in middle and high school, when they start separating them by level anyway, so you won't see such a great disparity in levels that you see in elementary school.
I did it back in the 80s and I was always the little kid, not developed like the other girls, not in the know, etc. I purposefully tried to act dumb bc everyone thought I was this weird scrawny little freak
So then what is the point in skipping a grade? So you can have a gap year?
I can't speak for anyone but me on this, but in my case moving ahead wasn't part of any kind of master plan. I started early because my mom was concerned I was teaching myself to write in ways she thought would lead to bad habits and I skipped later on because I'd gone through two years of curriculum in one year and the school was strongly of the opinion moving ahead would be a better fit socially and academically, which it probably was. (My parents were actually fairly opposed to the idea of grade skips in general -- they chose not to skip an older sibling who'd had a skip recommended, and I found out after I was grown that they'd been advised to start me in college full time by age 10 or 11, which they considered totally out of the question.)
I mostly wanted the gap year because at the time I was torn between going to a conservatory for music performance and doing something completely unrelated. I figured if I took a year to sort that out it wouldn't put me behind. I changed majors at least eight times; if I'd known what I wanted to get out of college before I started I think I would've been better off.
And, yeah, sixteen is awfully young to move away from home.
I was taken out of kindergarten and put in 1st grade. I didn't learn to color in the lines.
I was still bored in 1st grade - later on, gifted classes made more sense than skipping grades.
This thread has been interesting. I think most have agreed that a child skipping a grade is an individual thing, but I honestly am having a hard time believing there are any benefits to intentionally keep a child behind academically.
As far as being a competitive mother, nah. That reasoning just doesn't cut it. IMO, the opposite is true.
If a parent intentionally delays a child's entrance to school or rejects the notion that his/her child might be advanced intellectually, as well as, be socially and emotionally mature enough for a grade-skip; then I tend to think that it's the parent who isn't thinking of the child's best interest but rather fearing the child will fail if they proceed. It's like being pessimistic about their academic excellence or not being confident in your child's abilities. In short, I think being so resolute about refusing to skip a child a grade may actually be based on a parent's fear: fear that the child may fail and that it will reflect poorly on the parent.
When I was in the fourth grade, the school wanted my parents to let them move me to 5th grade but I did not want to. My parents were fine with my decision. I see no need to ever do that and I believe that from a social standpoint, it could be devastating.
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Add to that being painfully shy, and you can imagine the pain and bullying and isolation i've gone through in my childhood. So to me, nothing is as important as providing the proper environment for my son to avoid that, making sure that he is surrounded by kids who he can relate to, with a similar level of maturity and the same interest in learning.
Interesting read...
