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WOW, she's 2 and a half...what's to miss out on?..except maybe playing in her own back yard during the day...
Some people will tell you there are benefits to both parents working as they'll now be able to buy more things for the child. I'm on the other side in that I feel that the money saved on daycare, and a parent at home with the child... is a big savings , and far superior to both parents working...At her young age I feel a mom or dad with her is more beneficial to her. No one will love your child like you do...she's much better off with one of you at home...but I know there's a lot of working parents out there who'd disagree...so that's just my own personal opinion.
On the other side too. My first wife died and she was a teacher. She spent every day at work and in the summer, sent our son to summer camp. At age 3. I'm not against camp, but shouldn't the child at least get to know his parents?
Age three?
I had my own business, and since she ran off to NYC each day to work, I got him ready for school. I was OK with that, but in retrospect I wonder why a woman who didn't even need to work would not want to see her son's first steps or hear is first word? I heard those things.
She was ambivalent about getting married and ambivalent about having children.
She also could have worked from home for me. But instead she ran off an hour away inty NYC to escape family life. I don't get it.
The son did not turn out well. With a house keeper, and an elderly grandmother he got away with many things.
My first wife paid no bills and I was a little naive, I didn't ask what she was doing.
Now I know. She put the money in a trust fund for my son. As money earned during our marriage, according to that state, the money was not all hers - it was half mine.
At least one parent should be around when a child is growing up. I guess which ever earns less money?
There are lots of ways to give kids a great childhood. The variety offered in those half day summer camps are nice, but they really end up just being time fillers to keep kids busy and parents sane. If you both have been working for a while, you ought to be able to take sporadic days off to take your daughter to museums or amusement parks or whatever. If you really want to be able to offer her those camps when she's older, you can hire a sitter/nanny to take her.
I have a different perspective. I work so we are able to give our kids a great childhood.
These days, oftentimes both parents in families work out of necessity. While some may not need to financially, some need the extra stimulation and interaction w/ others in a work environment. It's not ideal but not every mother is cut out to stay at home. Personally, I did it for many years - and enjoyed it - but my adult children work outside the home - their children have been in daycare since they were very young and are doing very well. THeir friend's children are in similar situations as well. They're happy at home but are also happy at daycare and look forward to going. Different strokes for different folks, as they say, it's not a perfect world but it is what it is and if they're happy, we're happy.
As for bill paying, that s/h/b worked out in advance but if your wife's salary was unneeded and was going into a trustfund for your son and you were paying the bills, I don't see the harm in it - it's not like she was painting the town red w/ her salary - maybe the financial situation c/h/b tweaked a bit occasionally - always good to reevaluate goals etc - but it's kind of water over the dam at this point - in hindsight, we're all human and have some regrets and prob. w/h done certain things differently at various times of our lives (I was happy at home but was also happy getting out and getting a p/t job and later a f/t job when they got older (which eventually I did, it was the best of both worlds), too much of anything probably isn't good, there has to be some flexibility and a happy medium but but sometimes it's challenging to achieve it, that too s/b reevaluated and tweaked on occasion.
My wife and I are a two income family, and we have a young daughter age 2 1/2. We're a two income family, and I'm feeling a little bad about it.
We have our daughter in a great daycare and she's getting a full plate of activities this summer. But, I see flyers for kids drama camp or scouting camp or vacation bible school, or many other activities, and I realize that there are things that she'll miss out on.
I wanted to get some opinions about what we can do to ensure our child can have an interesting and fun chiildhood at the same time we hold down our day jobs.
I'm also wondering if there are benefits for our child for having two working parents in lieu of a stay at home parent.
Thanks
I am a stay at home parent, and we're on one income that is not very big for 6 people...we cannot afford to take the kids anywhere like dance class, or any activities for them. So unless one of your incomes is well into 6 figures don't entertain having one of you stay home. I randomly work, but the pay is not enough to afford extras. The only thing we are able to offer the kids is Disney, and that's cause we live in Florida, and during summer vacation bible school cause its free. But there are no classes in the morning for example for ballet, and we are done for the day by 6pm when these classes start around here, so its inconvenient both price wise and time wise. Same with everything else.
Please don't ever make your wife stay home. It is the worst thing you could ever do for her. I hate it with a passion, but it is too late for me, I can no longer work 9 to 5 because I missed out so many years.
Now I know. She put the money in a trust fund for my son. As money earned during our marriage, according to that state, the money was not all hers - it was half mine.
At least one parent should be around when a child is growing up. I guess which ever earns less money?
Sounds like it should have been all your son's, not yours. Anyhow, I don't think it's always the best idea to have one home who is earning less. It depends on individual situations and the level of risk people are comfortable with. I would not be comfortable with only one of us working and the other foregoing a skill set for a reasonable living. If something happened to the breadwinner the family could be in trouble.
Its what works for your family, your child. This is classic first time parent self doubt, and we've been there too! Spending quality time with your kid is not easy with 2 working parents, but it can be done with some discipline regarding timings. Lots of good advice already on this thread. Our son is in full time daycare and we enrolled him in swim lessons just because everyone seemed to be doing it and our firends said, oh you should start early. Turns out in our case it pretty much wrecked our Saturday mornings, and none of us were pleased. So we stopped that. We are happier lazing at home in the morning, eating breakfast together and playing We'll wait some more time and try a different schedule. Really all the kid wants is to be with both parents together, just taking a walk together makes my son so happy. This summer my focus is on planning small day trips as a family, hang out with friends and family,make some sweet memories. Classes and schedules and camps can wait, and I plan to do that when he is older and actually asks or shows some interest. I have no idea how others do it, making time for 2-3 activities in addition to FT daycare, but its not our cup of tea. I don't think my son loses out because of this.
I'm really looking ahead to the future rather than right now at the moment.
My wife personally feels that she would rather spend 40 hours a week at the office than at home. Criticize her if you like, but that is her decision and we have to work with what we have. I'm not able to leave my employment for financial reasons.
Hey, she can play in her back yard in the future too you know?..I didn't criticize your wife at all, in fact I never even differentiated you from her. That's YOUR doing...makes me think that YOU are the critical one of your wifes choice to work 40 hours a week rather than stay with your daughter...don't be dissapointed when others don't agree with that choice either...you asked if there was a benefit (to your daughters childhood) from two working parents..I'm saying NO..I don't see how there can be?..
To me, I get what kibbiekat is saying. A great childhood to me is spending lots of time with family but also having money to go on trips to see the world, buy books, do activities
you asked if there was a benefit (to your daughters childhood) from two working parents..I'm saying NO..I don't see how there can be?..
Increased income?
Increased opportunity?
Increased independence?
Increased performance in school (assuming they are middle class)?
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We'll wait some more time and try a different schedule. Really all the kid wants is to be with both parents together, just taking a walk together makes my son so happy. This summer my focus is on planning small day trips as a family, hang out with friends and family,make some sweet memories. Classes and schedules and camps can wait, and I plan to do that when he is older and actually asks or shows some interest. I have no idea how others do it, making time for 2-3 activities in addition to FT daycare, but its not our cup of tea. I don't think my son loses out because of this.