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It means because I work my kids get to visit their cousins and grand parents out of state. We can afford to buy a trailer and take road trip to places like the Black Hills, Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon. Because I work we took a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Disneyworld this year. Because I work we are saving heavily for retirement so as not to become a burden on them later. Because I work we are saving for college. Because I work we were able to consider competitive sports for the kids. Because I work I don't have to think twice about buying them the clothing, shoes, school supplies, or sporting goods they need. Because I work we can afford a museum membership and any extracurricular activities they have time for, and movies, and trips to the water park... Because I work, we can afford to give them allowance to teach them the value of a dollar.
I've seen the argument that anyone can stay home if they budget and cut out unnecessary expenses. Fine, if that's what you want. But that isn't what we want. We want to give our kids "unnecessary" experiences because that's what makes life enjoyable. They are at school 7 hours/day. I really can't justify staying home anymore. It just doesn't work for us.
To get back to the OP, no my kids aren't in half day sports or arts camps, but they are in a summer camp that keeps them very busy and provides more than enough entertainment - more than I could possible provide at home.
I can understand working away from home when your kids are at school all day...I just feel that until then, a child is better off with the guidance, daily, of a parent...I'm not judging you for your choice, everyone has different ideas of what's best or not.....Oh, and everything you mentioned you can afford "because I work", is also affordable by many households BECAUSE there is a parent who stays home (yeh, that's work too) with the child.
I can understand working away from home when your kids are at school all day...I just feel that until then, a child is better off with the guidance, daily, of a parent...I'm not judging you for your choice, everyone has different ideas of what's best or not.....Oh, and everything you mentioned you can afford "because I work", is also affordable by many households BECAUSE there is a parent who stays home (yeh, that's work too) with the child.
I think that's the difference. One working spouse that financially provides enough for the family. I would love to stay home with my daughter F/T so that my husband wouldn't have to work opposing hours to mine. We're not going to see each other all that much for the next few years. We have it set up so that the household can run with the basics on one income or two crap jobs. This is just the mortgage, monthly bills, and food. We use the other income to save for our retirement, our daughter's college and upcoming private schools, and rainy day funds. We wouldn't be able to do that on just my or his income. Also, to not work for a few years until she's in school isn't an option for either of us because we have careers, rather than jobs, so gaps in employment would be harmful. That's exactly why many of the women I work with don't stay home and pay out thousands a month in day care. If they leave the workforce they many not be able to get back in (in their chosen career).
I can understand working away from home when your kids are at school all day...I just feel that until then, a child is better off with the guidance, daily, of a parent...I'm not judging you for your choice, everyone has different ideas of what's best or not.....Oh, and everything you mentioned you can afford "because I work", is also affordable by many households BECAUSE there is a parent who stays home (yeh, that's work too) with the child.
she didn't say anything about other households, she was responding about HER particular situation. You are the one saying what YOU feel is best for "a" child.
Last edited by maciesmom; 07-13-2013 at 12:14 PM..
The only negatives I see are when both parents work very long hours and don't spend time with the children, and conversely when financial stress exacerbated by a SAH parents causes toxic family dynamics. Seeing as most families do not fall into these extremes, most families do what they choose to and need to do, and most children are just fine.
There is no right or wrong, just what works best for each individual family.
The only negatives I see are when both parents work very long hours and don't spend time with the children, and conversely when financial stress exacerbated by a SAH parents causes toxic family dynamics. Seeing as most families do not fall into these extremes, most families do what they choose to and need to do, and most children are just fine.
There is no right or wrong, just what works best for each individual family.
Exactly.And since none of knows exactly what goes on in other people's families or what all needed to be considered in their decisionmaking, best to just worry about ourselves.
Exactly.And since none of knows exactly what goes on in other people's families or what all needed to be considered in their decisionmaking, best to just worry about ourselves.
Great post.
I have found that now that my kids are older, I'm realizing that this is such a non-issue. So much of what we worry and argue about when our kids are babies/toddlers/preschoolers turns out to be moot a few years later. Look at any fifth-grade classroom and tell me which kids were breastfed and which were bottlefed, who was cloth diapered and who wore Pampers, who got the chickenpox vaccine and who got the chickenpox, whose moms stayed home and which ones were in daycare, who got a swat on the butt and who got timeout, and so on. It can't be done. None of it makes much of a difference once they're out of that stage. So much worry, concern and bickering over nothing!
I have found that now that my kids are older, I'm realizing that this is such a non-issue. So much of what we worry and argue about when our kids are babies/toddlers/preschoolers turns out to be moot a few years later. Look at any fifth-grade classroom and tell me which kids were breastfed and which were bottlefed, who was cloth diapered and who wore Pampers, who got the chickenpox vaccine and who got the chickenpox, whose moms stayed home and which ones were in daycare, who got a swat on the butt and who got timeout, and so on. It can't be done. None of it makes much of a difference once they're out of that stage. So much worry, concern and bickering over nothing!
Great post, and my sentiments exactly! Most of our kids will turn out fine, and all those who feel that only their way is the ONLY way a child SHOULD be raised will be surprised to find out just how many other ways work.
I can understand working away from home when your kids are at school all day...I just feel that until then, a child is better off with the guidance, daily, of a parent...I'm not judging you for your choice, everyone has different ideas of what's best or not.....Oh, and everything you mentioned you can afford "because I work", is also affordable by many households BECAUSE there is a parent who stays home (yeh, that's work too) with the child.
That doesn't make any sense unless you would truly pay more for child care than you would earn working. I'm just talking about simple math.
The only negatives I see are when both parents work very long hours and don't spend time with the children, and conversely when financial stress exacerbated by a SAH parents causes toxic family dynamics. Seeing as most families do not fall into these extremes, most families do what they choose to and need to do, and most children are just fine.
There is no right or wrong, just what works best for each individual family.
That doesn't make any sense unless you would truly pay more for child care than you would earn working. I'm just talking about simple math.
When I stopped working, it made better financial sense for me to do so. Daycare for two children is very expensive, and when you add in gasoline, work clothes, etc, it can actually cost more to work outside the home. Being home gave me the time to go to more than one grocery store, cook from scratch (as opposed to being tired and just getting takeout several times per week), etc. It really just depends on how much the job pays and what time-cutting conveniences the family is relying on (if they won't continue to rely on them once one parent stays home), etc. If you have a high-paying job, then it might not make that much of a difference, financially speaking.
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she didn't say anything about other households, she was responding about HER particular situation. You are the one saying what YOU feel is best for "a" child.
