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I should clarify. We had happy drama kids that were regular kids who liked drama a lot. They were fun to be around.
And then we had the goth drama kids, who were depressing and mopped around a lot and dyed their hair black and wore dark clothing. They were not fun to be around. That's what I'm calling goth. And that is what this person is trying to instill as a positive outlook for her child. The depressed, dreary goth person who likes sad theater films and books that involve death and despair.
I should clarify. We had happy drama kids that were regular kids who liked drama a lot. They were fun to be around.
And then we had the goth drama kids, who were depressing and mopped around a lot and dyed their hair black and wore dark clothing. They were not fun to be around. That's what I'm calling goth. And that is what this person is trying to instill as a positive outlook for her child. The depressed, dreary goth person who likes sad theater films and books that involve death and despair.
Not your kid, not your business.
Honestly, if this person chose a more mainstream lifestyle would that be okay? There are elements of different "mainstream" lifestyles that I find offensive or less than ideal, but it's none of my business if someone wants to raise their kids in that way. As I said before, diversity and the freedom to choose is one thing that makes the U.S. what it is.
I should clarify. We had happy drama kids that were regular kids who liked drama a lot. They were fun to be around.
And then we had the goth drama kids, who were depressing and mopped around a lot and dyed their hair black and wore dark clothing. They were not fun to be around. That's what I'm calling goth. And that is what this person is trying to instill as a positive outlook for her child. The depressed, dreary goth person who likes sad theater films and books that involve death and despair.
I think you meant to add that is your opinion of what they are doing, but you aren't the parent. I feel the same way about the uber-sport parents. Watching their kids throw up before each event due to pressure and stress makes me crazy, but it has nothing to do with me.
In the end, unless you isolate a child from the world you really can't raise them to BE something. Maybe they are being exposed to more things is all. I don't see a problem with alternative anything when someone is also being exposed to typical everything. The more you know...and all that jazz.
I think drama kids are the most fun. I encouraged my son to get involved in the tech side but he wasn't going for that. He's a gamer and likes RPG's and MMOG's and Magic. My daughter gave up cheerleading for drama (and for a cute boy!) and, yes, went thru a "goth" stage but also a million other stages while she was in HS and college. She's a mid 20's "hipster" now according to the world. I didn't raise her to do any of that.
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Ultimately I hope the parent in the OP's post is teaching his/her kids to think for themselves, and other posters are right...odds are good the kids will rebel by being relatively "normal." What parents think is cool...is rarely cool to kids. I introduced my teenage son to my favorite metal band, they are pretty famous. He wasn't impressed...he was just like, "Hey. Sup." Mr. Joe Cool teenager. lol
And if I had a dime for every goth or wiccan chick I knew who went to a Catholic school...I'd have enough money to buy lunch.
Great post.
My kids were raised with what you might call an old-school punk rock mama (Me). I didn't "push" them one way or the other but when they liked "my" music it was a thing we bonded over. My older son used to joke and say "Mom, you haven't given me anything to rebel against. How am I supposed to be a typical rebellious teen!??"
My younger son (15) seems to be rebelling lately in the form of liking rap music, and going on about it quite a bit, and poking at me by sending me various music video links he knows I will hate. He's jerking my chain for sure.
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Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
I agree with the spirit of this...just not the particulars.
If the kid grows up and decides they want a great job, they will do what they need to to blend in. I know plenty of folks whose business suits hide tattoos, who change into all-black on the weekends... Honestly, many of the "all black clothes" folks I've known have been really, really smart. Much more likely than your "mainstream acceptable" cheerleader or football jock to wind up going to college and getting an advanced degree and making loads of cash one day.
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Yes, a few of my friends are what you'd call "former" goth girls/guys. They are teachers, businessmen, successful artists.
In fact, the Superintendent of my kids' charter school has no doubt been a "goth chick" all her life and she is in her 60's now, and dresses every day in black, lots of flowy lace skirts, dyes her hair Black No. 1 (bonus points to anyone who gets that reference) and the kids all like her, parents have no problem with it, and she's running the entire charter school system.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
The fact is, a lot of unpopular "nerds, geeks and losers" in school wind up to be very smart successful adults. You'd be surprised. You are judging something you don't seem to understand very well, that is my opinion. But then...from what it sounds like, 97% of the population of your high school did, too. Lots of people do. But it's getting better for us "weirdos."
I keep hoping, as time passes, people will just become more open minded but it doesn't happen despite my years of hoping now. I remember my mother and grandmother nagging at me about "funeral clothes" and my "weird hair". I've expanded my wardrobe and these days I favor pale blue, but it was all so silly and such a weird thing for people to bug other people over, really. My son (now 21) went through a sort of "dark" phase and my mother lost it with concerns about how he might be suicidal. ::sigh::: Kinda ironic how when I was a pretty normal looking teen, in pep squad and all, and I WAS suicidal no one noticed anything was amiss. As long as you look pretty and dress normal it's all good, I guess.
Honestly, unless you are just a total idiot, I think most "weird" types still understand that there's a certain amount of conformity necessary when it comes to work, job interviews, court dates, jury duty. Right?
My sister went through an early goth phase as a young teen/preteen. Our father had died just a couple of years before, my stepmom was not regularly in the picture, and she was attracted to goth because it was a way to express her natural unhappiness with some things in her life instead of bottling it up. Sometimes when you wear something on the outside it doesn't weigh as heavily on the inside.
It was a phase though, and by the time she was a middling teen, she had was better able to express those feeling and goth sort of naturally fell away. Some of her art still is really dark and has goth elements though.
Maybe the parent knows the child is dealing with some dark stuff and is using goth as a method of expression for a child who has trouble using other expressions.
At my school distrit - where the subjet kid now goes to school - we had about 3% of the student body were folks that dressed in the classic goth style and enjoyed the darker side of life. They were the drama kids and hung out together. Most of us considered them to be losers, and there is no way that I'd encourage my kid to be part of that crowd....
When I graduated from high school a drama kid (who was also a hippie) was Valedictorian. Back when it actually meant you were the smartest kid in the class.
I'm not quite sure how you've managed to come to the conclusions you have at such a young age but..... Harold and Maude is on Netflix. Zimbochick is right. It's a dark movie. Very dark. And special. A woman named Ruth Gordon played Maude. In real life she was a full-of-life bundle of gusto who married a man 16 years her junior. (Who was named Garson Kanin. You should discover him as well.) Ruth used to enjoy shocking people by talking about her sex life. When she was in her 70's. She was perfect for the roll of Maude.
Dare to explore. Look in the corners. You are much too young to not see the fabulousness of people, and things, that are less than bright and shiny.
I think I'd rather raise my children goth then to raise them to be so judgmental of other people.
If you have no ability to judge, then what makes you think you could raise a child? You have to know right from wrong. You have to be able to make decisions for them, on their behalf, until they are mature enough to make good decisions for themselves. Raising them goth, is not a good decision, because you are making them outcasts.
Yes, I think it's bizarre and I would question what other odd things those parents are doing.
bi·zarre
adjective markedly unusual in appearance, style, or general character and often involving incongruous or unexpected elements; outrageously or whimsically strange; odd: bizarre clothing; bizarre behavior. Synonyms: weird, freakish, grotesque; fantastic; unusual, strange, odd.
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