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When I read posts like this, I have a deeper appreciation of the sacrifices my parents have made for me. Even after graduating (and making >90k/yr), they allowed me to stay on rent-free, purchased a car for me and took care of the little day to day costs without asking for a dime for almost 3yrs. Admittedly, I was saving for grad school and they understood that. Obviously, I was not an ungrateful child and did my own part (took care of my little brother, did household chores, helped around with upkeep, etc).
I come from a culture where the children of the home are respected and nurtured until they've established their own households.
I come from a culture where, if the child is making 90K a year, the child buys their parents a car.
I think $400 is pretty reasonable. I was paying $300 but making $28K at the time ... and saving for my wedding which was in less than a year away the time.
Your child does make a point though. As a parent, I'd like to think that "everything has to be fair" between all my kids. But as we are trying for kid#2, I've come to the realization that things just won't be equal. Kid#1 has a head start on her college education. We just have one kid to concentrate saving money for at the moment but if we have a second child, there's no way we'd be able to "catch up" to the same amount we've provided for #1. I'm having a hard time figuring out how it's all going to turn out for them when they go to college and how much we'd be saving up for the both of them won't come out "even".
Ultimately, I think $400 is a steal for him to have a roof over his head. He needs to realize that. But as their parent, sometimes you may just need to cut them some slack. Maybe do it his way for a year and if is still living at home, after a year, increase the rent. It does help teach them responsibility if they have trouble in that department.
And even more can be said when they receive the same unremitting love from children not because of the financial sacrifices they made. I truly believe the work ethic I required in my early years are beyond valuable and something that so many entitled and babied kids in my generation lack (I'm 25).
I had a trip for work last week with a guy about my age who was an only child with most everything given to him and it was interesting, and probably why I make around triple what he does while I have an associates and he has a bachelors. I've had jobs regularly since 13 and he never really worked till college.
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I agree about the work ethic -- I've always worked and worked my way through college -- however I've seen kids do just fine who didn't work but got an advanced degree in a field where jobs are guaranteed. For example, a pharmacist (Pharm-D) I know never worked any other job, got out of college making over $80K a year base, plus plenty of overtime.
Some people can be more "babied" and still do okay -- but overall, I think having all kinds of experience in a big variety of jobs can add something to your life. I really can't imagine just having one kind of job my entire life.
With the inflation of college cost, it is going to be very hard for families in the future. The republicans just allowed the rate on federal subsidized school loans will now double from 3.4% to 6.8%. College cost have been increasing faster than inflation. Only the best colleges will offer need based financial aid so the best they can do is to have good grades and be involved in sports and meaningful extra curricular activities. If the republican have it their way, college will only be for the rich so they can propagate their exclusionary practices- just like the (haha) good ol' days.
I believe that at the end of the day, raising children to have unremitting love and respect for you truly pays off.
Just b'c you make your child pay rent doesn't mean you're not raising your child to have unremitting love and respect for you.
We all choose how to raise our children but it is all with unconditional love. If my child does live with me after college and has a full time job, although over thrilled I'm sure I would be, I would make her pay rent. I'd probably just save it for her though and give it to her as a wedding present or money gift for when she finally gets her own place. I don't foresee us needing for her to chip in financially (I certainly hope not!) but I would make her do it anyway, especially if she's being paid a comfortable salary. I don't love her any less than your parents love you.
When I was 17 I got a part time job. My parents made me pay $25. a week in rent because I was employed. I remember being so angry!! They bumped it up to $50 then $75. eventually and I was even angrier. When I was ready to move out, my dad gave me a check written in the amount of every dollar I had ever paid them. He was teaching me responsibility and making me save....even though I didn't realize it. My parents are the best, though I didn't appreciate it then.
I agree about the work ethic -- I've always worked and worked my way through college -- however I've seen kids do just fine who didn't work but got an advanced degree in a field where jobs are guaranteed. For example, a pharmacist (Pharm-D) I know never worked any other job, got out of college making over $80K a year base, plus plenty of overtime.
Some people can be more "babied" and still do okay -- but overall, I think having all kinds of experience in a big variety of jobs can add something to your life. I really can't imagine just having one kind of job my entire life.
I agree regarding a lot of students that got advanced degrees. Pharmacists, Lawyers, Doctors, etc. typically tend to not have many issues. It's when people with broader degrees like business or marketing have no real work experience to put on a resume, so they fill it with stuff from school.
For someone who went to school for something like a pharmacist, lawyer, doctor, etc., 80k seems pretty slim. I went to a TECH school for 7 months and my 3rd year out I made 110k, this is my 4th full year out and I'm at around 90k for the year right now and it's in the 7th month. So think, while a pharmacist spends what, 8-10 years? in school, and I spent 7 months, say I averaged in those 10 years 100k, it would take a pharmacist a LOT longer to catch up, and by the time I have 10 years of experience I'll probably be making close to what they are making anyways. Obviously, my situation is not typical, but I credit a LOT of my success to my up bringing, and having a strong work ethic thanks to my parents, etc.
For these reasons I am obviously a bit bitter to see how hard I have worked to get where I am, and then see people with everything handed to them and a silver spoon in their mouth, yet they are still living at home after college when their parents that gave them practically everything they've needed financially to succeed in life.
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Originally Posted by readyformajorchange
When I was 17 I got a part time job. My parents made me pay $25. a week in rent because I was employed. I remember being so angry!! They bumped it up to $50 then $75. eventually and I was even angrier. When I was ready to move out, my dad gave me a check written in the amount of every dollar I had ever paid them. He was teaching me responsibility and making me save....even though I didn't realize it. My parents are the best, though I didn't appreciate it then.
Lol it's easy at the time to get mad at your parents for stuff like that, while looking back you realize how valuable of a lesson it was.
When I was 12 I loved extreme sports. I wanted this "GT Dyno" bike more than anything. It was around $230. So, I decided I would try and get a loan from the bank. So I got all dressed up, and road my bike to the bank and sat down with a loan officer named Amy. She asked me how I was going to pay for it and everything. I didn't find out till years later, but my mom called the bank to tell them I was on my way, so they were expecting me. I lived in a very small town where everyone knew everyone. Anyways, she explained how I had to be 18, etc. etc. etc.
So, I was able to put the bike on layaway. I put flyers out and mowed lawns, raked leaves, shoveled snow, etc. After 6 months the layaway period ended and it was only about 2/3 the way paid off. My parents paid it off and brought it home, but I couldn't ride it until I paid them back. I remember them leaving to go places and I would secretly ride in circles in the garage. I eventually paid them back for it.
Of course, as a kid it was really hard and really frustrating for me. Looking back now it's one of those million types of lessons I had that makes a difference to this day.
I would collect rent and then when they move out make a Mass Cash Dump on an outstanding Student Loan they still have, or make a Mass Cash Dump into their Roth IRA. Unless I'm in the situation where I need the rent to keep up on mortgage and utilities, in that case, that's where it would go, but I hope I'm not in that situation at the time.
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I don't think you read my subsequent post about the car. As for honoring my parents, I do that every day in various ways. They are quite comfortable right now, but it is only a matter of time before they truly reap the fruits of their labor. 
