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Old 08-01-2013, 09:36 AM
 
108 posts, read 134,589 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twoincomes View Post
You notice she changed the argument as soon as she got close to losing. Post #1 did not discuss good eating habits, it discussed independence and age appropriate questions. Then she changed the subject to good eating habits when she lost the argument on age appropriatenes and independence.

The answer is - giving your children choices at the age of 2 is appropriate and effective parenting. I do it all the time. Sure my daughter won't respond a lot of the time or has meltdowns, but that is not a result of my questions, it's her emotional immaturity.
but merely clarified my stance. It's interconnected, after all.

I was in Trader Joe's and the cashier offered a sticker for the child. It came on the roll and the parent ASKED her kid: "How many do you want?" D'oh! Gee willikers, I wonder what the kid replied?

Can you guess? She said ALL OF THEM.

And of course the parent had to backtrack. Nice lesson there...Teach your kid that she can make a choice and then walk it back.

 
Old 08-01-2013, 09:37 AM
 
2,763 posts, read 5,743,626 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by April Goodwin View Post
Actually I do know about what is developmentally appropriate since I have studied Early Childhood Education and am at student teaching level.

Just because you allow your toddler full reign of the fridge does NOT mean it's appropriate! I never said kids can't tell you what they want. I said is it WISE to allow them to call the shots at such a young age?

We have an obesity epidemic among kids these days. Perhaps this is one symptom of it--parents allowing their kids to eat whatever, whenever.
Really? And you know whats in my fridge? My child picked cheese and apples as his snack. 90% of my fridge is fruits and veggies and the other 10% being condiments. So yes, he's allowed full reign of my fridge since its all HEALTHY.
 
Old 08-01-2013, 09:46 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by April Goodwin View Post
whether they want to leave or what food they want?

Full disclosure: I am not a parent. Let's get this out of the way. So of course I must be clueless, right? Because all parents become child-rearing sages once their spawn arrives.

This occurs often with me: I am sitting in a cafe and a mother is asking her two-year-old what muffin or other food s/he wants. I actually saw a child burst into tears over it. It's too overwhelming to foist that sort of independence on a toddler or preschool kid. They crave parental boundaries/control. But so many parents are afraid of saying no or afraid of imposing their will on the child that they resort to this tactic, which I find destructive. At some point, the child will want stuff that the parent won't allow and then the shizzle will hit the fan.

A similar thing I see is asking the todder/preschooler if they want to leave the cafe. Great--give your child the idea that s/he calls the shot. Sounds like a recipe for success...
I think that limited choices (e.g. do you want muffin A or B, not pick one of the 10 muffins) is good for children, because they feel like their decision is valued and important (and let's face it, they have a lot of rules/ restrictions forced on them, for good reason).

Also, making decisions is a skill set that not adults have, and I think you can foster and learn about decision making.
 
Old 08-01-2013, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,499 posts, read 53,926,720 times
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OP must have been absent the week they discussed how 2 year olds are asserting their independence and automony and how it is WISE to give them reasonable choices to make them feel they have some control over their lives.

Potty training usually begins at this time, maybe even learning to use a fork, going off the bottle, picking a favorite napping toy, picking out clothes and CERTAINLY what book to read. All these issues are choice issues and help kids grow.

Hope you pass your final with so little pertinent information about childhood development.

Last edited by no kudzu; 08-01-2013 at 10:07 AM..
 
Old 08-01-2013, 09:48 AM
 
3,070 posts, read 5,220,341 times
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Why do parents do this?

Because around age 2 (or whenever a child starts indicating their wants/needs verbally), it is time to start letting them make decisions within their boundaries. When going to a coffee shop, I will tell him that he can "choose" his lunch, from a sandwich to a muffin or whatever. The boundaries are "no donuts" and the choices can be made among appropriate items (chosen by me).

Children learn to make wise choices within boundaries. If you want to dictate your child exactly what they can eat or do, go right ahead. Childhood is about a weaning process - mine went from me making 100% decisions (baby) to 75% decisions (toddler) and the other 25% is given within boundaries, and then it progresses from there until they decide to leave the nest.

Reading books and studying does not make you an expert on parenting. I have an education degree plus graduate studies in the field myself - I can promise you, I learned far more in the first year of parenthood than I did in university.
 
Old 08-01-2013, 09:49 AM
 
2,957 posts, read 5,885,489 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rezfreak View Post
Really? And you know whats in my fridge? My child picked cheese and apples as his snack. 90% of my fridge is fruits and veggies and the other 10% being condiments. So yes, he's allowed full reign of my fridge since its all HEALTHY.
That's a good point, my child is ~5th percentile for weight (he was at the 0 percentile about 1 year ago), so we encourage him to eat high calorie foods, that are not "good" for you, but are good for him (still try and get organic/ natural ingredients, just high calorie).
 
Old 08-01-2013, 09:54 AM
 
2,763 posts, read 5,743,626 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by April Goodwin View Post
Coagulated cow's pus is healthy?!
Actually, yes it is, its high in fat and good calories which is better for my preemie toddler who is still trying to gain good weight. He's up to 10th percentile, so clearly its working. What was his lunch choice? Peanut butter on celery, and grapes. Tell me again how toddlers cant choose well?

*gasp* This is what the toddler chose to eat. THE HORROR OF MY TODDLER CHOOSING HIS LUNCH!!!



Quote:
Originally Posted by blazerj View Post
That's a good point, my child is ~5th percentile for weight (he was at the 0 percentile about 1 year ago), so we encourage him to eat high calorie foods, that are not "good" for you, but are good for him (still try and get organic/ natural ingredients, just high calorie).
Ditto He doesnt eat much processed (except maybe some pretzels here and there).
 
Old 08-01-2013, 09:58 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,499 posts, read 53,926,720 times
Reputation: 47912
This thread reminds me of a difficult time we had when our oldest daughter was a sophomore in college getting a degree in psychology. We had two toddler (adopted) daughters who were pretty typical although one was developmentally delayed due to being in an orphanage her first 8 months.

We had gone on a trip and had to wake up the girls to get gas, use restrooms, change diapers and get food. One of the girls was in a deep sleep and she threw a fit (still half asleep) while we were waiting for our food to take to the car. I did the best I could to calm her while oldest DD stood there trying to tell me what i should and should not do. I told her I knew what I was doing to which she replied

"But Mama, I just read a book on this. I STUDY this in school."

DH and I couldn't help ourselves as we looked at each other and burst out laughing.
That is why sophomore means Wise Fool. A little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing.
 
Old 08-01-2013, 09:59 AM
 
108 posts, read 134,589 times
Reputation: 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
And I am the president of Zimbabwe.




Oh we are having a "nowadays" discussion?

Making correct choices is something that children learn throughout there lives. There is nothing wrong with allowing a 2 year old to chose between 2 decent choices. This is perfectly age approriate.
So you are accusing me of lying on an anonymous forum? I actually walked out of a student teaching situation in April due to the negative actions of the head teacher. I couldn't stand how she continuously barked out orders to the kids (ages 3 and 4) and her negative tone. While I agree that toddlers should not have free reign, some choice for preschoolers is healthy and I dislike when any adult is authoritarian.
 
Old 08-01-2013, 10:00 AM
 
108 posts, read 134,589 times
Reputation: 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by rezfreak View Post
Actually, yes it is, its high in fat and good calories which is better for my preemie toddler who is still trying to gain good weight. He's up to 10th percentile, so clearly its working. What was his lunch choice? Peanut butter on celery, and grapes. Tell me again how toddlers cant choose well?

*gasp* This is what the toddler chose to eat. THE HORROR OF MY TODDLER CHOOSING HIS LUNCH!!!





Ditto He doesnt eat much processed (except maybe some pretzels here and there).
LOL...
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