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My daughter is almost 15. She is a good kid in every way except one.... She's developed a habit of staying up very late. We live in a small apartment and, all night, all I hear is her going back/forth to the kitchen, opening the fridge, taking something (milk or juice), going back to her room, dancing, click-click-click on the computer, etc etc etc.
Last night, I was up until after 3am with this! I kept telling her to GO TO BED! She would quiet down for a while but then back to the nonsense. She actually stayed up all night and didn't go to sleep until 10pm tonight.
I am not getting a good night's sleep at all. I find myself constantly waking up all night long to tell her to turn off lights, get out of kitchen, go to bed, etc etc etc. This isn't something that just developed over the summer ---- she would do it a few times a week during the school year, too.
I am at my wits end with this. I need to be able to sleep without worrying about her leaving the fridge open or drinking a gallon of milk in one day or cooking something and falling asleep while it's cooking and causing a fire. I've considered a lock on the fridge and the pantry, but that just doesn't sit right with me.
Any constructive thoughts or suggestions??
Just a suggestion:
No cell phone, no computer use for her after you go to bed. Take the cell phone, take the computer out of her room. If she wants to stay up then it's reading time, writing time. You'll be surprised on how fast she'll get to sleep.
Last edited by oldtoiletsmkgdflrpots; 08-13-2013 at 10:02 AM..
Take the computer out of her room. Take the TV out of her room. Cell phone is shut off and in the living room at night. Shut off all internet access at night (i.e. put the router in your room and unplug it).
Take the computer out of her room. Take the TV out of her room. Cell phone is shut off and in the living room at night. Shut off all internet access at night (i.e. put the router in your room and unplug it).
Yeah right.
She'll go to sleep real fast then.
Some nights I stayed up ripping picture out of magazines and put up pictures on my walls.
Rearranging my room, going through things.
I'd stay up and do my eyebrows, paint my nails etc etc.
Yeah right.
She'll go to sleep real fast then.
Some nights I stayed up ripping picture out of magazines and put up pictures on my walls.
Rearranging my room, going through things.
I'd stay up and do my eyebrows, paint my nails etc etc.
In some ways, that is preferable. Those activities don't present a stimulation or lighting obstacle to sleep as computerized devices may. So her body will be able to respond to tired cues.
This. My first thought was, who is the Mama? Are you the adult or are you the child? Lay down the law and stop being a pushover. If you want the girl to go to sleep, tell her to do so and expect that she listen to you. The problem is that she knows she has the option to listen to you or not because she does not do what you say and you are on here begging us for advice about how to get your kid to do what you tell her to do. Who is the Mama? And take her to the doc and ensure that she is no suffering from insomnia. It might be plain old overstimulation (computers, internet, phone at 2am is very stimulating) or she might be worried about something and cannot sleep. In any case, just lay down the law and stop being a pushover.
ETA: I'd want my 15 year old to go to sleep bc I cannot monitor what the heck she is doing or who the heck she is talking to at 1am, 2am. Who the heck is she talking to if she is typing on the computer at that time of night? Who the heck is she talking to if she is on the phone at that time of night. As a former bad girl, I'd check that out. Your angel might not be so angelic between midnight and 2am every night after you go to bed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackscorpion
First of all, as a parent, you should not be having to stay up until 3am to deal with a teen that can't follow directions. I would do what your child does not want you to do, correct her and if she can't follow directions then take out the stuff that is "keeping her up", that includes a cell phone if necessary. You will see how quick she goes to bed then.
Btw, don't listen to all those that say use earplugs. You are the parent, it's YOUR apt, and you shouldn't have to do that. Your place, your rules.
The OP can choose to consider whatever solutions she wants. And she can choose to give thought to whatever possible contributory factors that might be involved. As a parent, we each get to make our own observations of our children and their friends, and have our own style of open communication with our children, and then act as we see best for the benefit of the child while also considering the entire family.
Good luck to all concerned parent on raising healthy and happy children.
True -- it does still come down to "your house, your rules" but at the same time, I thought almost everyone stayed up late into the night at some point in their teen years. Or do we forget how it was?
It's just kind of cool at that time in your life to stay up for some reason and then sleep in but after a while, you may get tired of missing out on early mornings.
Parenting is also about adjusting your perfect life for this other person you brought into the world and you're supposed to find teenagers annoying at least a little. But -- parenting is also about imposing your own particular set of rules on your kids.
The good thing is that ultimately it won't really matter -- if the girl has to go to bed earlier, she'll survive and do just fine, if she's allowed to stay up until 3 am safe and sound in her home, she'll survive and do just fine.
A couple years is going to change everything. But also once school starts, she's going to have to be up too early to stay up very late.
True -- it does still come down to "your house, your rules" but at the same time, I thought almost everyone stayed up late into the night at some point in their teen years. Or do we forget how it was?
I haven't forget, heck even now I often stay up later than anyone else in the household. It was the staying up all night and through the entire next day (over 30+ hours straight) that is out of the ordinary, even for an energetic teen.
But you are right, school is about here, and the fun late nights will end (at least for Sun-Thur nights). It will be a good time to see if the sleep patterns normalize out more considering early mornings will be required.
I guarantee that if the mother test or accuses the daughter of drugs the test will come back negative and so will her daughters attitude.
If my mom had drug tested me as a teenager then I would have pissed, I would have thought what an idiot, she doesn't know me or get me, why doesn't he understand me, why is she like this to me, I'm not doing anything wrong she's so stupid why doesn't she try to get to know me.
It would have put so much more distance Between us.
If you take your kid in for a full check up including blood work and urine analysis the child will be none the wiser about testing. Sometimes you have to do unfun things to make sure everything is square. To me, being a parent is just like management positions. Its not about being liked all the time or being friends.
If my parents directly asked me I would of thought it was funny at that age. The daughter is doing something wrong by being disrespectful to the parent's rules and keeping them awake at night. I am surprised neighbors have not complained about the dancing.
Only sleeping a few hours a night all the time isn't really normal. Awake till 3 am and up at 6 am or staying awake all night can be indicative of a problem. Drugs or body state its just not normal. It is not healthy to live like that either.
I remember at home there were certain things my parents complained about so I stuck to quiet activities. Didn't cook things after a certain hour, didn't shower or do laundry after a certain hour etc.
I don't see why its such a big deal to not do a few annoying loud things.
Personally I would let the milk things slide. But lights on and off plus dancing? H-no.
I would put a bios password on her computer if she didn't cut those out.
Cooking wouldn't be that big of a deal to me but the smells don't wake me up. Food cooking always woke up my parents so I hardly ever did that. They didn't mind baking smells like cookies or whatever.
Last edited by Opsimathia; 08-14-2013 at 10:12 AM..
"It's common for everyone to have insomnia from time to time. But if insomnia lasts for a month or longer with no relief, then doctors consider it chronic. Chronic insomnia can be caused by a number of different problems, including medical conditions, mental-health problems, medication side effects, or substance abuse. People with chronic insomnia can often get help for their condition from a doctor, therapist, or other counselor."
You don't cross your fingers and hope that its nothing. As a parent you should make sure its nothing before dismissing it as normal teen behavior.
"Although any chronic sleep problem in a teenager should be evaluated by a health care professional, here are a few tips to help your teen sleep better:"
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