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When a very young girl "comes on" to any guy, he has to recognize her immaturity and understand how wrong it would be to take advantage of her. Be a man and walk away.
Parents can never be too protective, imo.
I don't think we are talking about very young girls and older guys.
My dad would never had cleaned a shotgun, or threatened killing, or anything like that. He met every guy me and my 4 sisters went out with, engaged in a conversation to get a sense of the guy, usually showed them his jazz collection, and sent us on our way. I'm sure he stayed up for us, but we never knew for sure. Intelligent conversation, people skills, a little discernment into personality, respect, etc. went a long way. He would have never had to hide behind a gun and this whole macho gun culture is just ridiculous and counter-productive. He could have never prevented anything really bad from happening - things happen whether you clean or show your stupid gun in front of a 16 year old boy or not - but at least he could get a sense of the guy and the guy knew I had a dad that cared about me and a cool dad at that! Many of my ex-boyfriends and friends still remember my dad and his pride in his old jazz records and the fact that he thought they were interesting enough to engage in a conversation with him.
My daughter is only 6 so this will be another 10 years or so. (No I am not joking, our kids don't date till they are at least 16.)
Any guy that wants to take her out will have to ask me first. That is the way it is. End of story.
As far as sex, that is something that will happen when she is married. Any parent that is acting like a parent should have the same thought. Does that happen? Well look at todays teen pregnancy rate, so no many parents are not acting like parents. Check out todays teen rate of STD's. So many parents are missing the point of being a parent and protector of their children.
We have the same rules for our boys. One of our sons wanted to ask a girl out to home coming. He asked the dad and they liked that. He has done that with maybe a dozen or so girls and the parents love that he does that. It is respectfull to the parents and shows that he had respect for the young ladies.
My daughter is only 6 so this will be another 10 years or so. (No I am not joking, our kids don't date till they are at least 16.)
Any guy that wants to take her out will have to ask me first. That is the way it is. End of story.
As far as sex, that is something that will happen when she is married. Any parent that is acting like a parent should have the same thought. Does that happen? Well look at todays teen pregnancy rate, so no many parents are not acting like parents. Check out todays teen rate of STD's. So many parents are missing the point of being a parent and protector of their children.
We have the same rules for our boys. One of our sons wanted to ask a girl out to home coming. He asked the dad and they liked that. He has done that with maybe a dozen or so girls and the parents love that he does that. It is respectfull to the parents and shows that he had respect for the young ladies.
Shouldn't the girl decide who she goes on a date with?
My dad was never around but I would have hated if my parental figure gave some dude permission to go out with me without consulting me first.
First of all girls aren't property, they don't need permission attained to be taken somewhere and what if they don't like the guy?
And good luck with keeping your kids virgins till marriage, when they turn 18 you're nothing but powerless you have no say.
Seriously it's a little gross to be so involved like that.
Shouldn't the girl decide who she goes on a date with?
My dad was never around but I would have hated if my parental figure gave some dude permission to go out with me without consulting me first.
First of all girls aren't property, they don't need permission attained to be taken somewhere and what if they don't like the guy?
And good luck with keeping your kids virgins till marriage, when they turn 18 you're nothing but powerless you have no say.
Seriously it's a little gross to be so involved like that.
I didn't get the impression from his post that his daughter would have to date a guy just because he asked, only that it was a requisite if she wanted to. I don't see this as all too different from just meeting a boy before a girl goes on a date. Obviously she won't be going if the parents don't approve. Same goes for the boy's parents.
THe guys do not just randomly show up at the house and ask to take out the daughter. They express interest to the daughter and she says, well you have to meet my dad first.
Why? Dads have experience. Young girls do not. They are excited some guy has expressed interest in them. Dads are no excited. They are hopefully, calmly and objectively evaluating the guy. There are lots of guys in our HS that my daughters (nor anyone else) should go on a date with. I can recognize them pretty readily. My daughters may or may not be able to. They have no experience to go by.
Although my daughters are now 18, 21 and 21, they still tell any suitors, you need to meet my dad before we go out on a date. They adhere to the old high school rule even though they can do as they please. They want my input. They also want to be able to use me as an excuse of they decide they do not like the guy all that much. If the guy is too scared to come meet me, then he is a pansy and good riddance. If I intimidate them, I make it clear I am joking (mostly). If they do not get that, then they are dumb. My daughters are very smart and understand dry humor and sarcasm. A guy to dumb to get it, is not going to be compatible anyway. We are a very close family and we do a lot of things together. A guy who does not get along with the family, will not last long. Even with the kids pretty grown, we still do long road trips camping, etc.
My favorite meeting so far:
"Are you one of those metrosexual guys who gets their nails done and wears makeup?"
"No sir, I am more of a nature person. I even prefer girls who do not wear make up"
(Score 0.5 points, he obviously knows daughter does not wear make up).
"Do you carry a murse?"
"Nope. I carry a satchel, a murse is too small to hold my weapons"
OK this kid is clever and not a pansy. (Not afraid to stand up to me and shoot right back). Maybe a little geeky, if he has any "weapons" it is a toy light saber. Still, plus 5.
Then I asked him about swimming.
They dated for three years. I was sad when they broke up.
Shouldn't the girl decide who she goes on a date with?
My dad was never around but I would have hated if my parental figure gave some dude permission to go out with me without consulting me first.
First of all girls aren't property, they don't need permission attained to be taken somewhere and what if they don't like the guy?
And good luck with keeping your kids virgins till marriage, when they turn 18 you're nothing but powerless you have no say.
Seriously it's a little gross to be so involved like that.
I never said that I am picking any guys out for her. I would asume that she would like any guys that show up first before they came over. That is her business. Still she is taught that any guy that wants to go out with her should be man enough to ask her dad first. Why is that a problem? Why should any kid have to sneak around to go out on a date? Wouldn't you want to know the kind of people that your kids are hanging out with?
I have a coworker that had the same requirements on her. Guys would ask her out and she told them that they had to ask her dad first. All of the guys would walk. Finally when she was 17 a guy that liked her did ask her out. She told him the deal, that he would have to ask her dad first. He said OK. She told him again, no really, you have to ask my dad first. This guy did ask the dad. He also brought his parents to meet the family. They started dating then, When they turned 20 they got married and last month hit the 10 year mark. Now they have a couple kids now and are still doing fine. Imagine that, a couple that stayed true to each other.
I was raised by a US Marine Staff Sgt. in the 60's. If a guy came to the house to take me out, and my Dad did not like the way he looked, all he had to do was shake his hand the wrong way, and I never saw the guy again! I was raised to respect myself, and quite frankly, good Catholic girls were taught to be chaste until marriage. (all the guys I dated were respectful, and if not, we never went out) I am thankful my Dad was the way he was with me. It served me well (even today) I am also happy that I remained pure for my wedding at age 22 in 1983. I agree with once you have daughters, we'll talk. I have had to be mother and father to my 2, and it isn't easy. Rape is awful...I know first hand. (at age 29, it happened to me)
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