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I'm a 45yo grandmother and I believe breastfeeding should be done in private.
My daughter breastfed, and she made it a point to pump her milk before they went anywhere so that the baby could still eat, just out of a bottle. If she ran out and had to feed him, she went out to the car or into the bathroom if it was nice and had somewhere to sit. She was modest about uncovering herself in front of family members at gatherings as well.
Are you saying that because your daughter did it this way, that you think everyone should do it? If that's what worked for her to feel comfortable, then good for her. But not everyone wants to do that, or feels a need to.
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I mean, I get it, in an emergency you gotta do what you gotta do. But honestly, why can't you pump and bottle like other mothers? It's not like you don't get that bonding experience at home when you breastfeed.
For some people, I'm sure that they *could* pump and bottle the way that your daughter did, they just don't want to. For others, it is not an option. Here are some examples.
A mother who feeds on demand while at home does not have a lot of opportunities to pump extra milk for times when she will be out, on top of what she is already feeding to baby.
A mother who does happen to have some extra milk pumped for outings, is now missing a feeding while out. If she doesn't pump or nurse while she's out, then she may become engorged and uncomfortable, which could lead to mastitis or decreased milk supply if this happens often. If she does pump while she's out, I don't see how she's gained anything over just nursing while she's out, since pumping while out of the house is a lot harder than nursing while out of the house.
A mother who is with her baby full-time may not even own a pump. Pumping is certainly not required for breastfeeding. Not everybody pumps!
A mother who works outside the home is probably saving all of her extra pumped milk for daycare, and doesn't want to waste it for an outing when she could just nurse instead. Since she is missing so many feedings while at work, she probably doesn't want to miss any more than necessary when she is together with baby.
A mother who does respond well to a pump may be able to get plenty of milk out from nursing, but not enough to make a bottle when pumping.
A mother whose baby doesn't take a bottle (like mine) won't benefit at all from pumping for outings if her baby won't eat it.
A mother who has been struggling with a nursing strike or a bottle preference or a bad latch probably wants to limit her baby's exposure to artificial nipples as much as possible.
People have lots of reasons for wanting or not wanting to pump and bottle feed. If someone wants to go to the extra trouble to pump ahead of time, store the milk for outings, heat the milk while out, and clean the extra bottles and pump parts because that feels more comfortable for HER, then by all means, go for it. But if someone would rather just nurse, and feels comfortable with that, then there is no reason for her to pump and bottle feed just based on someone else's level of comfort with it.
My friend can feel free to wear only ankle-length skirts all the time because that is what makes HER comfortable, but it doesn't mean that I can't wear something shorter in public if I am comfortable with that. And if she wants to cover her hair in public, that is fine too, but it doesn't mean that I have to do it. And if you choose to pump and bottle feed in public, then by all means go for it, but you don't get to make that choice for me.
Here in the PNW you are more likely to be admonished for bottle feeding than criticized for breast feeding.
Though some folks might get admonished for bottle-feeding, I've yet to hear a story about anyone being asked to stop bottle-feeding or cover up or leave a public establishment for it. I hear these stories regularly about breastfeeding moms. Just this week there is one about a mom in a Chick-Fil-A.
I'd like to see a bottle feeder try to cover their baby up while feeding, maybe then they'd understand why covering up a baby is not always the easiest/best solution.
Eh, more people witching and moaning about these non-existent hoards of militant breast feeding mothers "whipping out their boobs", walking topless down aisles in the store dripping milk, blah blah blah..
Its not a spectacle to lift up a t shirt, pull aside a bra, and expose a nipple for the 2 or 3 seconds until the baby latches on. It is not a spectacle to see a few inches of breast around a babys head. Basically, except for the things people make up, breastfeeding is not a spectacle at all.
Though some folks might get admonished for bottle-feeding, I've yet to hear a story about anyone being asked to stop bottle-feeding or cover up or leave a public establishment for it. I hear these stories regularly about breastfeeding moms. Just this week there is one about a mom in a Chick-Fil-A.
Right, I'm only talking about where I live. I was yelled at by two women for bottle feeding my son (who was adopted btw) on a mall bench when he was little.
No need to get defensive, I'm totally on your side.
Right, I'm only talking about where I live. I was yelled at by two women for bottle feeding my son (who was adopted btw) on a mall bench when he was little.
No need to get defensive, I'm totally on your side.
Sorry, wasn't meaning to sound defensive. I've just done this conversation so many times already that I was anticipating the direction it might go. The whole, bottle-feeders are just as persecuted as breastfeeders line of thought. And while I agree that bottle-feeders may get a hard time from some individuals, I do not think that they get it from institutions the way that breastfeeders do.
Sorry, wasn't meaning to sound defensive. I've just done this conversation so many times already that I was anticipating the direction it might go. The whole, bottle-feeders are just as persecuted as breastfeeders line of thought. And while I agree that bottle-feeders may get a hard time from some individuals, I do not think that they get it from institutions the way that breastfeeders do.
Yup, no one is getting thrown out of Applebee's for bottle-feeding at a table.
It's not like it's against the law, if that's what you want to do, then do it.
I'm just saying I wouldn't have done it and my daughter didn't do it.
*shrugs* Makes no difference to me.
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The whole, bottle-feeders are just as persecuted as breastfeeders line of thought. And while I agree that bottle-feeders may get a hard time from some individuals, I do not think that they get it from institutions the way that breastfeeders do.