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Have you asked your son what he thinks needs to be done in the morning vs before bed?
He doesn't get a choice on taking care of the pets, but he does get a choice on taking care of himself. When does he prefer to shower? What order does it make sense for HIM? Make the conversation a problem-solving exercise for all of you, not just orders.
I can't function in the morning without a shower as soon as I crawl out of bed. Maybe he's that way. Or maybe he's one of those people who, when given extra time in the morning, procrastinate and don't get everything done. Maybe an extra 30 min of sleep and being in a hurry will be enough to get him to do everything on time.
If that doesn't work, then he needs to see that there are consequences - but I think they need to be immediate consequences. You don't have time for breakfast? Okay, here's a bagel that you can eat on the school bus. You don't have time to put on your shoes? Carry them out to the car and put them on while we are driving to school.
The third time my daughter had to go to the car half-dressed and with no breakfast, she started trying harder to get ready in the morning. Now I occasionally will surprise the kids with donuts if they are ready early. They never know if they'll get the reward, but they like the possibility.
Speaking for myself, I am NOT a morning person, so yelling at me or taking my phone away is not going to motivate me to do it any faster..
Talk to him, ask him how he thinks he can get all of his chores and stuff done on time..
Turn on some music, turn off the tv.
He should probably shower first, that will wake him up. Then get dressed. Eat, feed and let dogs out, scoop poop, then put shoes on.. Sounds like his routine needs fine tuning.
I have one who has time management down completely in the mornings, and one who is always eating breakfast and putting shoes on in the car, so I have no answers. Good Luck.
7th grade (IMHO) is one of the hardest years for boys. They're growing out of the little kid stage and too gangly for the teenage stage, hormones are hitting, puberty is hitting... not a fun time. The schoolwork usually takes a bump up in difficulty around this time, as well as expectations for organization and multi-tasking.
Some boys are organized and self-motivated during this age, but not very many of them. You may have to just stay on him awhile longer. I agree with those who said offer him something he wants (like 30 minutes of video games) on afternoons he gets everything done by X time without you or his mother having to say anything.
Does he do those tasks in that order? If so, that's the problem. It's not a very productive task list for only an hour. She's feeding him last. He is feeding the dogs first which means waiting for them to finish eating. A shower an getting dressed is a half hour to 40 minutes. Watching the dogs eat is 10 minutes. That leaves just 10 to 15 minutes to eat and scoop the litter box.
6:00 to 6:15 -- Wake up (it takes a few minutes), go to bathroom to pee, go to garage, set bowls out, wait for dogs to eat, let them outside
6:15 to 6:45 -- Walk to bathroom, shower and dress
6:45-6:50 -- Scoop litter (I sure hope he's washing his hands afterwards!)
6:50 to 7:00 -- Eat, put shoes on, get coat, backpack
I sure like more than 10 minutes to eat my food.
It would be better if your wife served breakfast first and he ate while the dogs are eating. He could scoop the litter while the dog is eating but that will only give him an additional 5 minutes to eat breakfast and get his shoes, coat and backpack.
He needs to wake up 15 minutes earlier. OR his time will be best spent if he showers first. Wakes up, walks into the bathroom, pees, gets into shower (that way he is doing something while he's waking up and it will help him wake up.)
6:00 to 6:30 -- Wake up, walk to bathroom, pee, get in shower, get dressed.
6:30 to 6:35 -- Go downstairs, scoop litter, set out dog dishes
6:35 to 6:55 -- Eat Breakfast (that's 20 minutes) while dogs are eating and let dogs out when he's done eating
6:55 to 7:00 -- Put on shoes, get coat and backpack
Yes this is what I saw in my head! Plus why does mom have to make breakfast every morning? Toast and a banana or cereal and a banana in it is fast.
My son started 7th grade, he will be 13 in November.
For as long as we can remember, he has never been in any sort of hurry in the morning.
She doesn't like to yell at him and keep on him in the morning.
What do other parents do to get their young ones motivated to get ready in the morning?
We wake him up at 6 (6:30 at the latest), and he needs to leave the house by 7:30 to get to school on time.
Here is what he needs to do in the morning:
-feed dogs and let them outside. The night before he puts the food in the dog bowls and leaves them in the garage. So all he needs to do is grab the bowls and set them down. Once they eat, he just has to open the kitchen door and they go outside on their own.
-take a shower. I know that this can be done at night to save time, but his hair will look greasy if he showers the night before. It is best for him to shower in the morning.
-scoop the litter box. This is done twice daily, so we aren't talking like a lot of stuff to scoop
-eat breakfast. my wife makes him breakfast every morning
So that is it. But she is constantly telling to eat faster, to not take 5 minutes putting shoes on, etc.
There is no real sense of urgency with him
We need advice. As it is, we don't allow him to use electronics during the week. So he can't play video games or on his computer. Unless he needs to go online for school, of course.
What kind of consequences can we give him?
First, I laughed when I saw "no sense of urgency" because I have used that term with regard to my daughter many times, and heard a manager at the grocery store use it about a teenage sacker. That must be a fairly common observation of adults about teens.
As far as his being slow, what happens right now? Is he late to school? Does he make either of you late for work?
If he's moving slowly but getting it all done, I don't see the problem. If he's late to school and gets a tardy, that's the consequence. When those add up the school usually takes some sort of action.
Why don't you tell him that you're tired of nagging him in the morning and it's up to him to get it all done so he can get to school on time. If he gets in trouble at school for being late, oh well. That's his problem, not yours. He may be dragging a$$ because it's one way he can assert some control over the situation. Try putting him in control of his mornings and see what happens.
I have a 4 & 6 year old. Here is what has worked for me.
First, yes, I get them up earlier. In fact, I expect the 6 year-old to get up HERSELF. She has to be ready to go by 6:45 to catch the 6:50 bus. I set the alarm clock in her room for 6:20 a.m. She is EXPECTED to get herself up & ready in-time to be out the door by 6:45, a full 25 minutes away. That's plenty.
The clothes are laid out & such, and no I don't do it for her, I EXPECT HER TO, the same as I expect her to get her own self up once the clock has buzzed. I remind her periodically of the need for laying out clothes etc the night before, & have in the past instructed her HOW, but once done, now it's on her to actually do it. It isn't my job to do it for her. It's my job to teach, not to do for her what she can do for herself.
If she flunks it a couple of times, she gets to see the side of me she does not want to see. It's not a pretty side at all. She knows it's there, she knows how ugly it is, & she knows when I threaten to pull up Mr. No-So-Nice-Guy, that I WILL do so I'm not just saying it.
Yes this is what I saw in my head! Plus why does mom have to make breakfast every morning? Toast and a banana or cereal and a banana in it is fast.
BTW You may want to check what time he eats lunch. Our local middle school starts lunch for the first group at 10:45 AM. Perhaps, he doesn't need a big hearty breakfast if he has an early lunch.
I like Hopes idea about looking at the morning schedule
I'd also like the idea about discussing it with him and guiding him to develop a good plan and then support it's implementation
As far as the morning routine - the items seem reasonable ...... I'm not a morning person and the only thing in there that would have bugged me was scooping cat litter ..... it's one of those things I'd want done before I showered, but not exactly the first thing I want to do in the morning because it's scooping up cat poop and lumped urine - not exactly the stuff of Folgers ........ I'd probably look to make that a 1st thing when home last thing before sleep type of activity, remove it from my morning - wake up, hit the shower to wake up (i never could use a radio, but music can help get you going for sure), dogs & my breakfast, let them out, finish up and go
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