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Old 08-15-2013, 06:23 PM
 
10 posts, read 12,516 times
Reputation: 12

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first of all i am not a mother i am not married hence why i came to this forum in need of someone with more experience's opinion.

long story short

my sister has a 4 yearold son and he doesnt know how to write heck he doesnt know how to hold a pencil. his kindergarden teacher advise my sister to teach him how to write. ok no problem with that... since this is her first son she asked my mom for advice and help which my mom said no to because my mom an i have been telling my sister and her husbandto teach him how to write an they never cared. anywas me and my mom got into an argument because she thinkd teaching a kid how to write and just about everything he learns is his mothers.job. and to be honest i find this unfair i think teaching kids should be a fun thing they can do with their parents (both) and should necessarily be a "moms job " ... also my sisters husband doesnt have a stable or full time job meaning he spends alot.of time at home ... which can be use to helping his son.



so what do you.guys think teaching is a moms job or both parents?


this is with the exclusion of those parents who have to work all day while the other stays at home .since both my sister and her husband dont really work.they leech of my mom. sad but true.
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Old 08-15-2013, 06:27 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,849 posts, read 32,142,734 times
Reputation: 22508
Quote:
Originally Posted by jjang View Post
first of all i am not a mother i am not married hence why i came to this forum in need of someone with more experience's opinion.

long story short

my sister has a 4 yearold son and he doesnt know how to write heck he doesnt know how to hold a pencil. his kindergarden teacher advise my sister to teach him how to write. ok no problem with that... since this is her first son she asked my mom for advice and help which my mom said no to because my mom an i have been telling my sister and her husbandto teach him how to write an they never cared. anywas me and my mom got into an argument because she thinkd teaching a kid how to write and just about everything he learns is his mothers.job. and to be honest i find this unfair i think teaching kids should be a fun thing they can do with their parents (both) and should necessarily be a "moms job " ... also my sisters husband doesnt have a stable or full time job meaning he spends alot.of time at home ... which can be use to helping his son.



so what do you.guys think teaching is a moms job or both parents?


this is with the exclusion of those parents who have to work all day while the other stays at home .since both my sister and her husband dont really work.they leech of my mom. sad but true.
Sounds like adoption would be a better choice. But, since that doesn't seem to be an option. The mother should teach him. It's nobody's "JOB". If it needs to be done, then somebody better do it or they are going to have a very stupid kid.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 08-15-2013, 06:49 PM
 
Location: here
24,844 posts, read 32,248,322 times
Reputation: 32528
It is no more the moms job than the dads job. Either could teach him.
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Old 08-15-2013, 07:45 PM
 
Location: Finland
6,400 posts, read 6,198,547 times
Reputation: 10352
Its the school's job really.
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Old 08-15-2013, 07:56 PM
 
3,072 posts, read 4,638,096 times
Reputation: 6533
Geez he's only 4... we're recommending adoption now for kids whose parents aren't teaching them how to write by 4? I know people are ridiculously judgemental about parenting practices here but that's pretty brutal.
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Old 08-15-2013, 08:02 PM
 
1,751 posts, read 3,405,648 times
Reputation: 1938
Getting a child ready to read and write is everyone's job!

Hand eye coordination is very important, as is learning to identify letters and understanding that letters make sounds and form words. I really hope he at least has had access to crayons.

If Grandma is providing daycare then she has wasted a golden opportunity, as has dad. The child can sit at the coffee table to color or draw while dad watches TV and provides encouragement. Bless you for noticing and thinking this is important!

I would not waste another moment arguing with family about whose job this was. Please run to the dollar store and pick up some crayons along with a workbook or coloring book and a pack of plain paper. Every time you see him, sit down and color/draw/write with him for five minutes. (you do it also, don't just tell him) Call his pictures 'stories' and ask him to tell you about it. Write some of it on the paper (to show him how it is done and that you value the process). Never criticize what he puts on the paper. Tell him the next time you see him he'd better have another story to show you, or give to grandma, or whatever! Don't make it feel like a lesson or school, but just fun.

You might be amazed at the things he'll come up with! You'll all learn more about him.
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Old 08-15-2013, 08:12 PM
 
Location: Finland
6,400 posts, read 6,198,547 times
Reputation: 10352
4 year olds don't need to know how to write, there's plenty of time for that.
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Old 08-15-2013, 08:21 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,143 posts, read 20,386,205 times
Reputation: 49123
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natsku View Post
4 year olds don't need to know how to write, there's plenty of time for that.
I think that the teacher and the OP meant "write" loosely, meaning how to hold a pencil or crayon and how to draw or color not necessarily how to write short sentences.

Mom, Dad, Grandma, everyone can and should help Junior be successful in school

BTW, in my area being able to write short sentences is an exit goal of 4 year old kindergarten. The children don't have to spell every word correctly, but they need to put several words together in a coherent sentence (with meaning) and write the letters well enough that others can read the sentence.

A child going into 5 year old kindergarten, who can not hold a pencil correctly would be doing A LOT of catching up to the other students.

I personally disagree and think that 4 is too young for handwriting and writing actual sentences but I didn't write or approve the curriculum.

P.S. A few of the 4 year olds were writing and illustrating short stories (3 or 4 pages) by the end of the school year.

Last edited by germaine2626; 08-15-2013 at 08:29 PM..
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Old 08-15-2013, 08:23 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
1,560 posts, read 2,661,213 times
Reputation: 1987
Quote:
Originally Posted by jjang View Post
first of all i am not a mother i am not married hence why i came to this forum in need of someone with more experience's opinion.

long story short

my sister has a 4 yearold son and he doesnt know how to write heck he doesnt know how to hold a pencil. his kindergarden teacher advise my sister to teach him how to write. ok no problem with that... since this is her first son she asked my mom for advice and help which my mom said no to because my mom an i have been telling my sister and her husbandto teach him how to write an they never cared. anywas me and my mom got into an argument because she thinkd teaching a kid how to write and just about everything he learns is his mothers.job. and to be honest i find this unfair i think teaching kids should be a fun thing they can do with their parents (both) and should necessarily be a "moms job " ... also my sisters husband doesnt have a stable or full time job meaning he spends alot.of time at home ... which can be use to helping his son.



so what do you.guys think teaching is a moms job or both parents?


this is with the exclusion of those parents who have to work all day while the other stays at home .since both my sister and her husband dont really work.they leech of my mom. sad but true.
Whose job? (1) kindergarten teacher. (2) backup by either parent if necessary following kindy teachers instructions.
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Old 08-15-2013, 10:21 PM
 
16,903 posts, read 19,669,265 times
Reputation: 16950
Quote:
Originally Posted by jjang View Post
first of all i am not a mother i am not married hence why i came to this forum in need of someone with more experience's opinion.

long story short

my sister has a 4 year old son and he doesn't know how to write heck he doesn't know how to hold a pencil. his kindergarden teacher advise my sister to teach him how to write. ok no problem with that... since this is her first son she asked my mom for advice and help which my mom said no to because my mom an i have been telling my sister and her husband to teach him how to write and they never cared. anyways me and my mom got into an argument because she thinked teaching a kid how to write and just about everything he learns is his mothers job. and to be honest i find this unfair i think teaching kids should be a fun thing they can do with their parents (both) and should necessarily be a "moms job " ... also my sisters husband doesn't have a stable or full time job meaning he spends a lot of time at home ... which can be use to helping his son.



so what do you.guys think teaching is a moms job or both parents?


this is with the exclusion of those parents who have to work all day while the other stays at home .since both my sister and her husband dont really work.they leech of my mom. sad but true.
Many 4 year olds (especially boys) don't know how to write.

Either parent can help with this. I don't think it is specifically the mom's job. OTOH, is he in a preschool or prekindergarten? If so, they should be working on this at school.

If they want tips about how to help him learn to write, they probably need to figure out how his fine motor skills are first.
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