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Here we go again with another poorly disguised thread promoting this tiresome gay agenda thing. I wish people would give it up...it really does not serve any useful purpose...of course we are now going to hear sob stories about how a nasty "conservative" father or mother - rejects and breaks the heart of some poor gay child..how they never spoke to them again ..and how horrible these parents are. This idea wanders far from reality...Just about all parents whether they like it or not - will not jettison their own child if this RARE situation arises...so give it up - we don't need more of these threads that are actually political in substance. I just can't stand it when those with a political or social agenda bring children and emotion into the issue. It's just insincere.
I am not trying to be political, I am asking for actual family experiences. Take it however you will.
Oleg, if you find the subject so distasteful and offensive you are welcome to simply pass the thread by. And Religion has alot to do with how some relatives react to having a homosexual child. Of course it has nothing to do with the child being homosexual.
I have good friends whose beautiful and cherished son came out to them his senior year in high school. they were heart broken for him only because it meant a great deal of discrimination from our conservative community. The whole family had been active in the Methodist church but it soon became obvious they were being shunned when they openly supported their son. they left long standing and successful careers and a lovely home they had built themselves to move to a more progressive part of the state and the whole family started over. I admire them tremendously.
I am not trying to be political, I am asking for actual family experiences.
I knew a young man (gay) who contracted AIDS at the height of the crisis in the 1980's. His father was a Christian fundamentalist who disowned him because he refused to "repent". Back then there was a lot of fear attached to the disease, but this father (I use the term loosely) refused to visit him or have anything to do with him because he believed his son was a sinner. He shunned him. He also told anyone who would listen that his son was a sinner because he was gay.
As this young man grew sicker and sicker a group of nuns welcomed him into their hospice. They took care of him. They bathed him. They fed him. They sat with him when was he was lonely and scared. He died a horrible death, in the middle of the night, with no family around him. One of these wonderful nuns, however, was holding his hand. The nuns also buried him.
Thirty years later and I still can't understand how someone could abandon their own child. Especially because of a religious belief.
The man who fathered a gay son showed no love, no compassion for him. The nuns showed nothing but love and compassion.
When I was a child, a very dear friend of our family came out as gay. My parents loved him like a brother, and my parents took it in stride. I am grateful for that model. They managed his sexuality with more grace than they ever did our own.
Since then I have had many dear friends who are gay. I loved them just the same.
As for my own children, if they had same sex relationships as adults, I would be surprised, since both of them as teenagers have all indications of being completely hetero. I believe it is possible for a hetero person to have needs met by a same sex romantic attachment, and I would like to think my girls would understand that about themselves. Regardless, I would love them just the same as well, but I also would be sad for the challenges they would face.
It wouldn't make any difference to me at all. Individuals with any kind of differences from the norm/average may face difficulties and prejudices. But I wouldn't want them to be anything other than who they are, regardless.
I would be surprised, but I certainly would not reject them. The dreams I have of their happiness, grandchildren, loving relationships would not die. They would just change a bit. My family has not rejected my teenage nephew that recently came out. I never rejected the gay member of H's family even though own parents did. BTW--I was raised as a Catholic.
Moderator Cut How do you justify discriminating against some one because of something completely beyond their control--genetics.
Last edited by Jaded; 08-19-2013 at 01:58 PM..
Reason: DM me for reason
A heterosexual father who tells you he wouldn't intially be upset or disappointed if his son was gay is lying.
On what basis are you making that claim? There may be a reasonable expectation that many parents would have some reservations based on the fact that many LGBT youth, in many geographical areas, face a tougher life than their straight counterparts, but I don't think that's what you're talking. Not being a father of a gay son, I don't believe I can directly contradict your claim but I can't imagine what reason I'd have for being disappointed that my son was guy.
I'd be thourghly disppointed if my kids turn out gay. I recognize that it is possible and genetic. I would still love him or her but It would change the nature of our relationship
Quote:
Originally Posted by rrah
I would be surprised, but I certainly would not reject them. The dreams I have of their happiness, grandchildren, loving relationships would not die. They would just change a bit. My family has not rejected my teenage nephew that recently came out. I never rejected the gay member of H's family even though own parents did. BTW--I was raised as a Catholic.
How do you justify discriminating against some one because of something completely beyond their control--genetics.
Last edited by Jaded; 08-19-2013 at 07:01 PM..
Reason: off-topic/flaming
I'd be thourghly disppointed if my kids turn out gay. I recognize that it is possible and genetic. I would still love him or her but It would change the nature of our relationship
I talked with my older son, whom had no "tendencies" but talked with him about AIDS and safe sex when he was younger. I talked to him specifically about how death progresses with AIDS. I also told my older son that if he were to have a male "partner" that person would not be welcome in our house but that my son would still be welcome. He understood that because he knows that I believe that it is mental health issue with a documented amount of both physical and psychological ills that the majority of heterosexuals do not experience unless they do have mental health issues. So, just in case, I made my case early on when I gave the "sex" talk.
And, "genetic". Ah, not from something in the genes because it would have been experienced throughout the generations if it is a genetic.
My younger son with DS, no "tendency" either. Both saw family and both want that for themselves. I think "sex" is secondary to them. Keeping them away from porn was probably a real plus too!
And, my older son is married with two children. I am not a closeted gay. I do not hate gay people. I am not a homophobe which is someone that is afraid of homosexuals. Moderator Cut.
Last edited by Jaded; 08-19-2013 at 07:07 PM..
Reason: Off-topic
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