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Thank you everyone for the advice. I'm really weighing my options! The biggest struggle is finding a daycare that A) will allow my child to be there even when sick. B)that is open at 6 am and closes at 7 PM, and C) I would still need care two Saturdays a month.
I think you are stuck with $15 or find a new nanny. I agree with the post I've read that say she pulled a bait and switch. The problem is, you went along with it.
I don't think it is fair to lower her pay because your circumstances changed.
I don't necessarily think it is unfair for her to charge you more than the other families. Sometimes people raise their prices but keep lower prices for existing customers.
I think you can ask her to lower her price, but she's not obligated to do it.
ETA after reading some more, I'm pretty shocked that she said more money would "inspire" her to do more with your son. I'm also wondering, if your son's dad makes a lot of money, why grandpa is footing the bill, and why, if you are going to be making more money, why this is an issue now.
I think you've been very flexible. If you really want to keep her, I think you make her an offer, take it or leave it, no negotiations. Pay her the $15 but only if she brings her own lunch and her kids own lunch, and only watches them at your house. Or giver her the flexibility she's used to but pay her $10-$12.
ETA again, I'm so sorry about your mom.
I thought your hours were 7:15-5:45. Why would you need a day care open 6 am-7pm? There are advantaged to day care. A classroom setting has structure and really gets them ready for a school setting. The downside is, he will probably be sick a lot that first year, and no day care I know of will take sick kids. That's what sick/vacation days are for when you're a mom. Good luck.
Last edited by Kibbiekat; 08-20-2013 at 08:03 PM..
I think you are stuck with $15 or find a new nanny. I agree with the post I've read that say she pulled a bait and switch. The problem is, you went along with it.
I don't think it is fair to lower her pay because your circumstances changed.
I don't necessarily think it is unfair for her to charge you more than the other families. Sometimes people raise their prices but keep lower prices for existing customers.
I think you can ask her to lower her price, but she's not obligated to do it.
ETA after reading some more, I'm pretty shocked that she said more money would "inspire" her to do more with your son. I'm also wondering, if your son's dad makes a lot of money, why grandpa is footing the bill, and why, if you are going to be making more money, why this is an issue now.
I think you've been very flexible. If you really want to keep her, I think you make her an offer, take it or leave it, no negotiations. Pay her the $15 but only if she brings her own lunch and her kids own lunch, and only watches them at your house. Or giver her the flexibility she's used to but pay her $10-$12.
ETA again, I'm so sorry about your mom.
I thought your hours were 7:15-5:45. Why would you need a day care open 6 am-7pm? There are advantaged to day care. A classroom setting has structure and really gets them ready for a school setting. The downside is, he will probably be sick a lot that first year, and no day care I know of will take sick kids. That's what sick/vacation days are for when you're a mom. Good luck.
Thank you for your response. I feel terrible lowering the payrate and believe me if I was in a better position I would be willing to pay her the same amount because despite all of the negatives I like her, I think she cares for my son like she would her own, and he loves her and her girls. But due to recent events, even though I will be making more, I now have other huge financial obligations(as does my dad) that will make it much more difficult to pay her the same amount. My son's father is willing to try to pay more but even he is saying that he doesn't think he'd be able to wing the amount I'd need him to wing in order to make the arrangement of $15 an hour for 50 hours a week, work.
So that is the situation. I'm not upset with her for wanting to be paid the same amount. I know that she is desperate for money because of her own financial situation. But I also thought that by being so lenient, amongst other things that this was creating loyalty and that she'd be willing to take a temporary paycut until my situation improves, especially being that previous jobs she's taken she did not charge as much. I was honest with her about WHY I can't pay her the same amount. And she was understanding, but I also get the feeling, that like most people these days, she REALLY needs money, so much so that in some ways I do think it influences the way she handles things. My mom had once told me never to get "service" from someone who was desperate for money, she had a really good explanation for why that was, I just don't remember what it was. However I do know that when I hired her, I definitely felt her desperation, I just looked pass it because I thought she was a good fit with my son.
My dad wasn't the only one footing the bill, he paid half, my son's father paid 70% of the remaining half and I paid the other 30% with what little I made as a waitress. I'm now going to be transitioning back into the corporate world and will be making more than I did as a waitress(a lot more) but also have a ton of financial obligations that happened due to an event that happened recently.
And yes she said that she wanted to give me the perfect solution but that she also had financial goals she was trying to meet and that when she has a lot of bills she has a high stress level and thus it's harder for her to feel inspired to do wonderful things with the kids. On the other hand when she is "happy" and getting paid more she feels more inspired because her stress level is low.
I understand where she is coming from. Because that goes without saying for anyone, but I admit that the way she worded it in the email was a bit off-putting.
I wish I had more time to look into finding another nanny and looking at the best daycares as it stands I basically have Wednesday through Friday to find something and find something quick, because I start work next monday. And I don't want to rush a decision like this--because I believe that finding a good daycare will take time(visits, research etc,) the same with finding a babysitter. So for now I have to sort of make some sort of compromise until I can find something else.
For the training period the hours are 9:00-5:00, the first day it's 8:00 AM because of orientation, then once training is done, the company is big about work/life so I'd be working 4 day weeks from 7:00 AM-6:00 PM with a lunch break, morning break, and afternoon break. Two saturdays out of the month I have to work as well...
I do get vacation days, and time off, but I believe the first 90 days are probationary period--my concern is if he were to get sick early on, or often, then what would I do? On saturdays who can watch my son? I have no family that lives here and no real friends that I would trust to watch him properly. I don't know many daycares that are open 13 hours to accomodate the time I would need to drop him off(at 6:30 AM) and pick him up(at 6:30-7:00 PM).
What I'm thinking of doing is coming up with a flat rate(like $500-$525) for now and then once I get out of training and am only working 4 day weeks really start using days off to look for another babysitter and possibly tour other daycares. My goal would probably be to slowly transition my son into daycare by the time he is 2 and 1/2--to where he is only with her(or another sitter) a few days out of the week, and the other 2 days at a daycare center. Eventually by the time he's 3 just making it more of a full-time thing.
I see the dilemma about your hours. I wonder if you could do some combination of day care and a nanny (not necessarily the current one). You are kind to worry about the nanny's financial goals, but those are not your problem. When she takes him on outings, does she pay for them or do you?
I see the dilemma about your hours. I wonder if you could do some combination of day care and a nanny (not necessarily the current one). You are kind to worry about the nanny's financial goals, but those are not your problem. When she takes him on outings, does she pay for them or do you?
A majority of the outings that she takes him on are free, but whenever he's at her home she offers him and gives him food. So she doesn't really pay much out of pocket toward him or anything...
I was thinking of the combination of daycare and a nanny as well. I want to post an ad on care.com again, but I logged on to my account on there and noticed that she was on there today recently as well. She's changed the payrate on her account to $15 an hour(whereas before it was 10) and her availability is only on Saturdays and Sundays(on care.com) as opposed to how open it was before. I'm not sure if she's looking for weekend work or what. But apparently she's also on the hunt for another option...
It was awkward because she came over today to pick up her paycheck from last week and I could tell she felt awkward...
I think the OP is the one doing the bait and switch. What the nanny charged other people is irrelevant. She has a right to earn as much as she can. The OP agreed to $15/hour knowing the care.com profile said $10. Nobody held a gun to her head when she interviewed the nanny. Now the OP wants to pay less because the hours will increase.
The best solution is to end the arrangement and part ways. The OP will be happier finding someone else who will work for less money. The nanny will be happier working for a family who will pay more money. Forget compromise because it won't work out long term due to lingering hard feelings on both sides.
I think the OP is the one doing the bait and switch. What the nanny charged other people is irrelevant. She has a right to earn as much as she can. The OP agreed to $15/hour knowing the care.com profile said $10. Nobody held a gun to her head when she interviewed the nanny. Now the OP wants to pay less because the hours will increase.
The best solution is to end the arrangement and part ways. The OP will be happier finding someone else who will work for less money. The nanny will be happier working for a family who will pay more money. Forget compromise because it won't work out long term due to lingering hard feelings on both sides.
That's not true at all. As I said a recent financial constraint is making it difficult to continue paying her $15 an hour even if her hours were just 40 a week. The increase an hours would not be an issue if not for financial obstacles.
That's not true at all. As I said a recent financial constraint is making it difficult to continue paying her $15 an hour even if her hours were just 40 a week. The increase an hours would not be an issue if not for financial obstacles.
The point remains that you are the one changing the terms you agreed upon. Your first post says that your new job will likely increase her hours to 50 hours per week when she previously worked less than 40 hours per week. And you want to decrease the hourly rate of pay. Think of this from her standpoint for a moment---more work for less pay. The extra 10 hours she spends at your house will be 10 hours she can't spend earning money elsewhere.
How would you feel if your boss came to you and said your hours were being increased and your hourly pay would be decreased? Most people would start looking for a new job. Based on your quote above, you are talking about decreasing her weekly earnings to less than she's earning now (since your financial consultant says you can't continue to pay her $600) while you increase her hours at the same time. Even if you continued to pay her the same weekly rate, it IS awkward that you would want her to work more hours for it.
Neither of you are happy. You're looking for a new nanny. She is definitely shopping around for another family. It doesn't matter that she previously charged $10 to other families while she was semi-employed during her job search for more full time, permanent employment. It doesn't matter that it took her a while to find a family that met her terms. She'll find another family who is willing to pay what she asks because she's clearly very good with children. She's probably willing to go back to the part-time patchwork babysitting until she finds the right employer again.
The time to ask "what's reasonable" was before you talked to her. There's really no turning back now that you've said the things you did. Even if you found the money to keep her, she's not going to trust she can depend upon it. She'll leave when she finds a new employer.
Consider this a lesson learned and start looking for a new nanny. Don't burn bridges with her so she will be available to help your son with the transition. If you remain on good terms, perhaps you can use her for date nights or something so she's not suddenly disappearing from your son's life so soon after he as made such great progress.
My dad wasn't the only one footing the bill, he paid half, my son's father paid 70% of the remaining half and I paid the other 30% with what little I made as a waitress. I'm now going to be transitioning back into the corporate world and will be making more than I did as a waitress(a lot more) but also have a ton of financial obligations that happened due to an event that happened recently.
Will you be earning more than $510 per week? That's the total of what your dad and your son's father is paying for your nanny based on what you posted here. Instead of paying a nanny, has it occurred to you to ask them to pay you $510 per week so you can stay home with your son until he is school aged? Even if you'll be earning more than 2k per month, it might be worthwhile to weigh the benefits of staying home with your child verses the income difference.
Five months ago, I hired a nanny off of care.com. On her profile the wage that she wanted to be paid was $10 an hour--she also wanted the flexibility to bring her two young daughters(age 3, and 1) with her to the job. When we interviewed and I saw her interact with my son(a toddler under age 2) I saw that she was really good with him and had a lot of knowledge and me and her immediately formed a bond. It was at that point where she said she would be willing to go as low as $12 an hour but really preferred $15 an hour. So me, the father of my child, and my father agreed to come up with the funds to pay her $15 an hour. At the time I was a waitress and I was less than 40 hours a week, so she never exceeded $600 a week in payment. But I'm starting a new job with steady hours, and there's a good chance that I'll need her for up to 50 hours.
That being said, I'm in the same "mom's club" group as her. And found out that she charged a much lower rate for other families she had watched a couple of months before she became my son's nanny. For instance she only charged one family with two young boys $10 an hour to watch there kids(a baby and a five year old) and bring her girls.
I was talking it over with both my father and my son's father and we all agreed that we really can no longer afford to pay her $15 an hour. Though we all agree that she's valuable, we also agree that my son is not getting the same one on one attention that he would get if she didn't have her girls. The going rate in my area for a nanny to WATCH one child is $12-$20. Since she's watching my son, plus her two girls I wanted to settle for a weekly flat rate that was fair and reasonable for her and me(so that she is satisfied with meeting her financial goals, and one that we all can afford).
She didn't take this news that well. While she is open to it and willing to compromise, I can tell that she is slightly disappointed. What I don't understand is that she charges a low rate for other families but why not mine especially when I explained the recent financial constraints that have came into play which are why we can no longer afford to pay her the $15 an hour rate. But we are willing to do even $12 an hour, or a weekly flat rate of $525-550 plus paid vacations, and the same paycheck every week even when I don't use her services. She is not taxed on this at all--she asked us not to, so she's paid under the table as well.
Is it asking too much to lower the payrate? What is reasonable in this situation?
For instance if my toddler was getting one on one care I'd be more willing to try to make it work for the $15 an hour rate, but with her bringing her two girls(one girl who is somewhat of a bully at times) I don't know what is reasonable...
A baby sitter is not the same as a nanny. A professional NANNY is going to operate professionally. And if the going rate is $12 to $20 per hour why should she take you for $10.00.
I have a pet sitting business. I charge what I want to charge depending on the variables. The reliability of the client, the difficulty of the job, the location, the times, etc.
You shouldn't be questioning her business decisions about other people's rates, but you should be questioning bringing her kids along right off the bat.
Also maybe she simply could NOT live on the $10.00 from "before" she worked for you but didn't want to miss the job with you for whatever reason.
I seriously have to laugh that you question the TEN DOLLARS to FIFTEEN DOLLAR range for your most precious toddler when I get 17 - 20 as a PET SITTER for 30 minutes.
I'm not so sure that you're off the hook paying "under the table" nor her. I'd be checking out the current LAW on that. She can potentially file claims against you if you are incorrect. I believe it has something to do with WHERE the babysitting takes place.
And sorry but part of the deal has to be he can go there when he's SICK?
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