Debating if wife should stay home (babysitting, ideas, legal, milk)
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We did it.
We were scared and uncertain.
My wife was climbing the corporate ladder and got pretty high up.
BEST THING WE EVER DID - NEVER LOOKING BACK!!! Hallelujah!
I'm guessing you no longer hold separate bank accounts?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnCatarre
My mother always worked and my brothers and I are fine. What if she spends money in daycare? She's supposed to earn something as well. Like I said I don't have to support an adult. If she doesn't like it, she can get on with her life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnCatarre
Aren't women supposed to be all "strong and independent" these days? So, they have to work and bring money, wife or not. I would never financially support an adult woman. She could contribute the same way as the man: working and taking care of the kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesDD
A wife doesn't have the right to live on the husband's money. If women expect men to take care of the kids, it's only fair they should work as well.
I'll take a guess that neither of you are married? What you're saying isn't how families work. It's not me vs her. When I put my husband through college it wasn't about me supporting him, but him accomplishing his dreams, which is good for the both of us. Mom staying home, at least initially, is good for the baby. I went back to work after 4 months and it's not easy. The responsibilities between mom and dad aren't the same. Dad isn't up 2x a night nursing. Dad isn't pumping at work. And frankly, the vast majority of dads are not on top of ped appt's, what's needed for the sitter or daycare (bibs, diapers, wipes, formula or stored breast milk, backup clothes, etc). My husband is a great father, but I take care of those things. I check safety standards and consumer reports for baby items. I think it's off to assume a level playing field between working parents. Then there is the fact that nobody will love your kid like you do or know how to deal with your kid like you do.
My husband just had a recent stint of unemployment and we knew it was for a 6 week timeframe. We both knew he hated to do all the chores I normally do, but certainly not fair for him to laze the entire time especially as my son was already signed up for sport camps he really wanted to do. We made a list together of house projects that we never seem to get around to and I didn't care if he did them all at once, or little bit every day, etc. The deal was it would do it w/in that timeframe and I didn't feel resentful afer a long day at work and come home and see the house wasn't even picked up.
OK...probably one of the oldest debates in modern parenting, but I need some advice.
We have a son who is almost two years old. I work full time running a family business, and will likely be expanding my duties with that in the near future. My income has gone up fairly consistently the past few years.
My wife currently works part time, 20 hours per week, M-Th. The job pays an OK hourly wage, but no benefits at all. She takes home a little over $1000/mo. We pay for our own high deductible insurance out of pocket.
My wife does not really like her current job. Her background is in education and counseling, and her current job isn't related to that at all. It's convenient for her to work there, but she isn't passionate about what she's doing, etc.
Our son goes to daycare two days a week...we each stay home with him one day per week (he goes to my parents one day per week as well). The days I stay home with him are very tough...I don't get much work done with him around, and my wife typically runs errands and works out at the gym after her job is done. I don't mind that she does this, but it ends up being a very long day for me, knowing I have stuff I should be getting done, but really can't.
The daycare situation is tenuous. He's currently going to a great at home provider, but she is technically over her limit of kids she can have. I guess one of the neighbors reported her, for whatever reason. Our son is her most recent addition, so he's the one that would have to leave. It was very tough for us to find a provider who fit our schedule/needs after he was first born. The daycare provider has basically told my wife she can only keep him for about three more weeks.
My wife would like to stay home with our son. She has a small side business she could do a few hours a week to generate some income (maybe a few hundred bucks a month realistically).
Looking at our household budget, we could get by on my income, but we would be tight. Mortgage is about 25% of my take home pay, and is our only debt. We invest in IRAs, etc. We would have to probably cut our entertainment budget in half (admittedly we got out to eat fairly often right now...usually a couple times per week), but hopefully she would be able to cook more at home. We also wouldn't have the daycare expense (obviously), and her gas spending would be cut down.
Part of me is reluctant, because she has never been a great house keeper (none of the women in her family really are, for whatever reason). I have told her very bluntly that she would have to take the reigns of the housekeeping if she stays home full time (not that I wouldn't still help, because I already do much of the laundry, dish washing, yard work, etc). She acknowledged this and has already made a weekly chore check list for herself.
Sorry for the long post...we're really wrestling with this right now. Really hope some people can give me some good advice. Thanks!
Your wife should absolutely stay home and raise your son! And that goes double if you have more children.
My wife continued working part time until our elder boy was 3, then when our second son was born she quit her job and was a full-time Mom until the younger one entered kindergarten.
If she makes extra money working, you will never remember where you spent it. But if she stays home she will always remember those good times, and you will have piece of mind knowing who is looking after your child.
Stay at home moms are NOT welcomed back into the work force. Unless she is not looking to ever work again, and just milk welfare, my suggestion is that you don't do that to her! I have a major employment gap because I stayed home, and now nobody even looks at my resume. This was the biggest mistake I made in my whole life! We don't have any insurance either. No savings, nothing. Don't ever consider this; we no longer live in the 1950's either! My little guy has no interaction with anyone because we cannot afford daycare! even half a day. A job is better than no job. If I knew that I won't ever be able to return to work after staying home, I would have never/ever considered it. I don't care if I liked the job or not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaseMan
OK...probably one of the oldest debates in modern parenting, but I need some advice.
We have a son who is almost two years old. I work full time running a family business, and will likely be expanding my duties with that in the near future. My income has gone up fairly consistently the past few years.
My wife currently works part time, 20 hours per week, M-Th. The job pays an OK hourly wage, but no benefits at all. She takes home a little over $1000/mo. We pay for our own high deductible insurance out of pocket.
My wife does not really like her current job. Her background is in education and counseling, and her current job isn't related to that at all. It's convenient for her to work there, but she isn't passionate about what she's doing, etc.
Our son goes to daycare two days a week...we each stay home with him one day per week (he goes to my parents one day per week as well). The days I stay home with him are very tough...I don't get much work done with him around, and my wife typically runs errands and works out at the gym after her job is done. I don't mind that she does this, but it ends up being a very long day for me, knowing I have stuff I should be getting done, but really can't.
The daycare situation is tenuous. He's currently going to a great at home provider, but she is technically over her limit of kids she can have. I guess one of the neighbors reported her, for whatever reason. Our son is her most recent addition, so he's the one that would have to leave. It was very tough for us to find a provider who fit our schedule/needs after he was first born. The daycare provider has basically told my wife she can only keep him for about three more weeks.
My wife would like to stay home with our son. She has a small side business she could do a few hours a week to generate some income (maybe a few hundred bucks a month realistically).
Looking at our household budget, we could get by on my income, but we would be tight. Mortgage is about 25% of my take home pay, and is our only debt. We invest in IRAs, etc. We would have to probably cut our entertainment budget in half (admittedly we got out to eat fairly often right now...usually a couple times per week), but hopefully she would be able to cook more at home. We also wouldn't have the daycare expense (obviously), and her gas spending would be cut down.
Part of me is reluctant, because she has never been a great house keeper (none of the women in her family really are, for whatever reason). I have told her very bluntly that she would have to take the reigns of the housekeeping if she stays home full time (not that I wouldn't still help, because I already do much of the laundry, dish washing, yard work, etc). She acknowledged this and has already made a weekly chore check list for herself.
Sorry for the long post...we're really wrestling with this right now. Really hope some people can give me some good advice. Thanks!
Stay at home moms are NOT welcomed back into the work force. Unless she is not looking to ever work again, and just milk welfare, my suggestion is that you don't do that to her!
I was able to go back to work very easily. It likely will depend somewhat on your skill set.
Quote:
I have a major employment gap because I stayed home, and now nobody even looks at my resume. This was the biggest mistake I made in my whole life! We don't have any insurance either. No savings, nothing. Don't ever consider this; we no longer live in the 1950's either! My little guy has no interaction with anyone because we cannot afford daycare! even half a day. A job is better than no job. If I knew that I won't ever be able to return to work after staying home, I would have never/ever considered it. I don't care if I liked the job or not.
Daycare is not the only place one can get socialization for a kid.
I was able to go back to work very easily. It likely will depend somewhat on your skill set.
Daycare is not the only place one can get socialization for a kid.
In our town daycare is the ONLY place for that. Let me explain: I take him to parks, and there are no kids his age..why?? you guessed they're all in daycares...then I don't have a bottomless wallet for gas to drive everywhere in search of 3 year olds! We are on one small income; after we're done paying bills(no debts) just house stuff, and get some food, that small income is gone.
My skill set is exactly what it should be for what I do, yet nobody can get passed the employment gap! Nobody in my town offers entry level in my field nor trains...they all want experience and me coming from another job....I stayed current, and continue to do so, I am not siting here watching TV...far from it...however, upon sending resume on top of resume nobody bothers to answer...it's been 9 years! I am furious beyond imagination at this point.
I think you need someone to look over your resume. My wife and her friends all had no problems getting back into the work force after choosing to be professional moms for a time. If you are not getting responses, you may have a problem resume, or maybe you are just not qualified for the work your are seeking.
If you are in a tech field like IT, it would certainly have an impact because tech changes so fast, they probably would think you got left behind.
OK...probably one of the oldest debates in modern parenting, but I need some advice.
We have a son who is almost two years old. I work full time running a family business, and will likely be expanding my duties with that in the near future. My income has gone up fairly consistently the past few years.
My wife currently works part time, 20 hours per week, M-Th. The job pays an OK hourly wage, but no benefits at all. She takes home a little over $1000/mo. We pay for our own high deductible insurance out of pocket.
My wife does not really like her current job. Her background is in education and counseling, and her current job isn't related to that at all. It's convenient for her to work there, but she isn't passionate about what she's doing, etc.
Our son goes to daycare two days a week...we each stay home with him one day per week (he goes to my parents one day per week as well). The days I stay home with him are very tough...I don't get much work done with him around, and my wife typically runs errands and works out at the gym after her job is done. I don't mind that she does this, but it ends up being a very long day for me, knowing I have stuff I should be getting done, but really can't.
The daycare situation is tenuous. He's currently going to a great at home provider, but she is technically over her limit of kids she can have. I guess one of the neighbors reported her, for whatever reason. Our son is her most recent addition, so he's the one that would have to leave. It was very tough for us to find a provider who fit our schedule/needs after he was first born. The daycare provider has basically told my wife she can only keep him for about three more weeks.
My wife would like to stay home with our son. She has a small side business she could do a few hours a week to generate some income (maybe a few hundred bucks a month realistically).
Looking at our household budget, we could get by on my income, but we would be tight. Mortgage is about 25% of my take home pay, and is our only debt. We invest in IRAs, etc. We would have to probably cut our entertainment budget in half (admittedly we got out to eat fairly often right now...usually a couple times per week), but hopefully she would be able to cook more at home. We also wouldn't have the daycare expense (obviously), and her gas spending would be cut down.
Part of me is reluctant, because she has never been a great house keeper (none of the women in her family really are, for whatever reason). I have told her very bluntly that she would have to take the reigns of the housekeeping if she stays home full time (not that I wouldn't still help, because I already do much of the laundry, dish washing, yard work, etc). She acknowledged this and has already made a weekly chore check list for herself.
Sorry for the long post...we're really wrestling with this right now. Really hope some people can give me some good advice. Thanks!
the big consideration is you need to come up with a budget including the ability to save for a downturn in your business. Also, that if it doesn't work then should would be rejoining the workforce. How about her working for you and you hiring one less person as a way to do this? She would be on flex time.
PS I don't know if the pool guy or mail man would be a consideration too.
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