Would you want to explain menstruation to your daughter without some mention of sex education and birth control? (method, teenagers)
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There was never any big talk in with my kids, we just talked off and on over the years at age appropriate levels, even if it was just a comment or and convo sparked by a movie or something on tv. I know I didn't specifically talk about sex or BC when bringing up menstruation with my daughter, there was no need for that. All the various comments and whatnot just all came together by itself eventually. Plus, and I'm not saying this in a negative way, but I think kids NEED to hear about and talk about things with their peers as well as parents and adults. Their friends who have done "whatever" already will have something to say about it, and that's fine too.
Well we all know they will talk with their friends but this just opens up opportunities for the WRONG information to be spread. Some dippy kid with no parental involvement might spread false information about sex, STDs, BC and any number of things which only confuse kids. In my day it was to use saran wrap as BC or that douching with vinegar did the trick.
I can't prevent my kids from discussing whatever they want with their friends but at least my kids will have the RIGHT information and they might be instrumental in educating other kids who aren't as lucky.
Not everyone believes that the use of artificial birth control is empowering.
It is helpful for a girl/young woman to know how to keep control of the situation when a punk tells her to "Meet my friend" and unzips his pants. Education does not mean automatically endorsing youngsters using birth control, but that would discussion/decision be up to the parents/youth/physician.
After being raised in the oppressive 50s and 60s, I can tell you that it is better to be open and give your daughters tidbits of information from the time they are little. The BIG SECRET REVELATIONS just make everyone uncomfortable. One favorable result of our open society is that old uncomfortable subjects have become water cooler conversation.
Which is the goal of a good parent, to educate their children in things of importance, so that the child does not need to "learn the hard way" [no pun intended] when it involves life-changing actions.
I grew up as a teen in a very middle class suburb in the 1970s.
I can't really remember what sex education we received. At home, I seem to recall a book being left for my sister and me to read, I don't think we ever had a talk. My sister was older than me so I do remember when she got her first period (I think "the book" was left for me soon after). As for school, I'm sure we had lessons but really can't remember.
I was an avid reader so I think I did learn a lot of the basics from both friends and books. I do remember that my friends and I did used to talk about all those sort of things. I also remember that I would then go and look things up to check if what others said was true or not - I didn't just take them at their word.
I do remember in 6th grade reading some novel belong to my brother that had very descriptive sex scenes and I remember writing them out for all my friends to read. Let's just say that I knew at 10 that it wasn't a good idea for a man to have a car accident while "enjoying" himself by tying things to a car door (it'd be a bit pointless with today's better suspension anyway). As for pornography, my younger brother bought some porno magazines at a fete held by my (teacher) mum's inner city preschool and after us kids had a peruse, they all ended up in a shed the neighbour boys had in a piece of bush out the back of where we lived. I realised I was more knowledgeable than the 11 year old neighbour (who was only 1 year younger than me) when a group of us were walking home from iceskating one day and found a porno mag at the side of the road (near building site) and she asked "Why is that girl eating a Chiko roll?" (an Aussie "delicacy" inspired by the spring roll, very popular in the 1970s)
Though I did have plenty of crushes on boys, I didn't have a boyfriend while still at school - I think the sex side of things didn't seem particularly appealing in high school after looking at those magazines and reading those books lol.
I wouldn't even know how to begin to teach them half the story, that's quite peculiar. And I agree, by 11 she's heard about it from others if her mother's not talking to her regularly.
I agree. I think most girls would ask (or wonder) why periods happen, just as boys would ask (or wonder) what erections are all about. Oh, um, that's just ... something that happens to your body.
My daughter and I spoke about it very vague this summer when she started. I did not go in great depth but did let her know that she is able to have a baby but she should not since it is not fair to her or to the baby. Her friends told her that it was gross-the period. I told her it was a way of cleaning her body and that it will happen usually every month and it keeps things in balance.
The sex and everything else we spoke about since I told her it is very uncomfortable and boys will do whatever they can to get to be the first one with her. Emotions will take over and she needs to keep control or she could do something that she cannot change/regret. The boy will not be the one taking care of the baby but it will be her-it helps that she raises bunnies and has to clean out the cage every day, feed, and play with them on a daily basis. She told me her friends told her that she will not get pregnant as long as she does not have sex in bed! I had to hold back the laughter and let her know that it can happen anywhere and anytime! She then preceded to ask even if she had sex during the day and I told her "Yes no matter where or when you have sex you can become pregnant!"
I ended the conversation with "If you have any questions about things from this point on please come to me and I will let you know. If you start to see boys, go out or go over to a friends house that has an older brother/father that tries things with you let me know there is no shame on your part." She then asked "So if the boy is just a boy and not even a boyfriend I can get pregnant?' I said "YES!"
There was never any big talk in with my kids, we just talked off and on over the years at age appropriate levels, even if it was just a comment or and convo sparked by a movie or something on tv. I know I didn't specifically talk about sex or BC when bringing up menstruation with my daughter, there was no need for that. All the various comments and whatnot just all came together by itself eventually. Plus, and I'm not saying this in a negative way, but I think kids NEED to hear about and talk about things with their peers as well as parents and adults. Their friends who have done "whatever" already will have something to say about it, and that's fine too.
I was thinking the same thing, having partially read this thread and then going off to do dishes. Sex ed, whatever you want to call it, is an ongoing process. The information a child (boy or girl) needs at age 9 or 10 is very different than what they need at later ages. I agree with kids talking with other kids, too.
That film was shown in my school as well. It was only shown to girls. Parents had to sign a release form for their daughters to see it and some refused. Apparently the adults nearly came to blows at the PTA meeting discussing it. This was in a tremendously conservative community where some of the parents had convinced themselves no one under 21 had any body parts below the waist line.
Although I consider myself conservative on most counts, I dislike this Victorian, finger-wagging attitude among some of those of my political persuasion.
I am very open (but age appropriate) with my kids about sex. The oldest is 8 so we have a while.
Pretending sex doesn't exist usually results in them growing up to extremes, either they sleep with everyone they meet, or become sexually repressed in their relationships & risk never having a healthy relationship with a partner because of it.
Being open will NOT make them have sex sooner, that's a crock!
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