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I think it's a myth that ALL kids are having sex by age 11. It's completely up to the parents and their own values when they want to teach their children about having sex and using birth control.
Whoa--nobody said anything about these young girls having sex. I and others simply said once they start their periods they can get pregnant IF they start having sex. Big Difference. And I think the earlier we discuss birth control with our kids they will be better informed. I think if we discuss things like sex ed and birth control early then BY THE TIME they are ready to apply these things we have discussed the open lines of communication will be firmly established.
I've taught all three of my daughters that starting menstruation means their bodies are now Women's Bodies while their minds are definitely not. I've taught them that becoming a woman means more attention to hygiene, skin and hair care , etc. and at the same time both DH and I have discussed with them what happens to boys when they reach puberty. To teach only 1 side of the story is a mistake. They know about voice change, wet dreams, erections, body odor, body hair, etc. We've tried to present it not in one Sit Down and Let Us Tell You About The Birds and Bees talk but little snippets at appropriate times.
I definitely agree about 11-year-olds. But I discussed menstruation with my daughter when she asked about it - probably about 5. I did not connect that to sex and birth control.
It is very naive to think that there are 11-year-olds who haven't been told about sex. What they have been told may be wildly inaccurate, but they've heard.
I think it's a myth that ALL kids are having sex by age 11. It's completely up to the parents and their own values when they want to teach their children about having sex and using birth control.
talk about a major misinterpretation of the thread. Where does it say that all kids are having sex by age 11? Certainly by age 11 a good number of children are physically capable of becoming pregnant. Sure it is up to their parents when to teach their children about sex, etc. But teaching children that when their bodies change it means something other than having a monthly period, etc just gives them half the story.
And this.......
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Originally Posted by no kudzu
Whoa--nobody said anything about these young girls having sex. I and others simply said once they start their periods they can get pregnant IF they start having sex. Big Difference. And I think the earlier we discuss birth control with our kids they will be better informed. I think if we discuss things like sex ed and birth control early then BY THE TIME they are ready to apply these things we have discussed the open lines of communication will be firmly established.
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu
I've taught all three of my daughters that starting menstruation means their bodies are now Women's Bodies while their minds are definitely not. I've taught them that becoming a woman means more attention to hygiene, skin and hair care , etc. and at the same time both DH and I have discussed with them what happens to boys when they reach puberty. To teach only 1 side of the story is a mistake. They know about voice change, wet dreams, erections, body odor, body hair, etc. We've tried to present it not in one Sit Down and Let Us Tell You About The Birds and Bees talk but little snippets at appropriate times.
I am a little nervous about the boy stuff. the girl stuff, I feel pretty confident about. My mother always had an open dialog with me and my sisters. But we were just a family of 4 girls, so this boy thing will be a whole new territory for me.
I think it's a myth that ALL kids are having sex by age 11.
Goodness, I should hope not. My kids are not driving by 11 either. But we have begun to teach them about traffic safety and the like. I cannot imagine being the poor kid who gets no information until Mom and Dad perceive that they are actually ready to HAVE sex any more than I would want my first introduction to a car to be with me sitting behind the wheel.
Goodness, I should hope not. My kids are not driving by 11 either. But we have begun to teach them about traffic safety and the like. I cannot imagine being the poor kid who gets no information until Mom and Dad perceive that they are actually ready to HAVE sex any more than I would want my first introduction to a car to be with me sitting behind the wheel.
I like your comparison. I have my girls sitting beside me paying bills on line but of course I don't say to them:"go in there and pay the utility bills" they are getting an idea of budgets, costs of running a household and how important it is to pay bills on time. When it is time for them to pay bills it won't be so scary and new to them.
Whoa--nobody said anything about these young girls having sex. I and others simply said once they start their periods they can get pregnant IF they start having sex. Big Difference. And I think the earlier we discuss birth control with our kids they will be better informed. I think if we discuss things like sex ed and birth control early then BY THE TIME they are ready to apply these things we have discussed the open lines of communication will be firmly established.
For me, 11 is a little too young but I discuss things as they come up but age appropriate.
A co-worker discussed sex very early on with her son, allowed him to date at age 13 and diligently bought him a big box of condoms and made sure to hand him a couple any time he left on a date. By age 18, he had 2 girls pregnant at the same time and of course did not marry either one of them.
Early teaching of sex and birth control is not a sure thing either. I suspect that today 99% or more of unwed teen parents have actually learned about sex and birth control. The problem may be something else.
My kids are not allowed to date or go to boy-girl parties until age 16, but they learn about the reproductive nature of sex quite young because we make sure any pets are neutered and spayed. We get into the talk about responsible pet ownership -- and they do know that reproduction happens even by age 5 or 6.
For me, 11 is a little too young but I discuss things as they come up but age appropriate.
A co-worker discussed sex very early on with her son, allowed him to date at age 13
I don't understand your connection between discussion and expectation of practice. Discussion of biology and sexuality is age appropriate WAY before 11. This book is
The notion that you cannot explain why a vaginal wall might need to slough its tissue without consenting to immediate sexual activity is baffling.
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and diligently bought him a big box of condoms and made sure to hand him a couple any time he left on a date. By age 18, he had 2 girls pregnant at the same time and of course did not marry either one of them.
Early teaching of sex and birth control is not a sure thing either. I suspect that today 99% or more of unwed teen parents have actually learned about sex and birth control. The problem may be something else.
Nothing is a "sure thing". If you are waiting for that, keep waiting. With your head deliciously in the sand.
I am a little nervous about the boy stuff. the girl stuff, I feel pretty confident about. My mother always had an open dialog with me and my sisters. But we were just a family of 4 girls, so this boy thing will be a whole new territory for me.
Depending on the age of your girls, something in the series I posted to Malamute might be helpful to you.
The notion that you cannot explain why a vaginal wall might need to slough its tissue without consenting to immediate sexual activity is baffling.
Nothing is a "sure thing". If you are waiting for that, keep waiting. With your head deliciously in the sand.
Discussing birth control is most definitely about sexual activity. Sure 11 year olds allowed to date should have birth control and be educated about it -- I'm not saying otherwise. You can teach a girl about the body preparing for the egg and for it to be fertilized which makes a baby without telling the girl about the Pill and condoms and everything else -- it comes down to how the parent chooses to parent.
Yes the girl needs to be taught the whole deal -- but to say that ALL parents must do it your way and there are no other ways is silly. Some might want to have one big sit-down session and tell them about menstruation and birth control pills and condoms and everything else, others might break it into different talks.
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talk about a major misinterpretation of the thread. Where does it say that all kids are having sex by age 11? Certainly by age 11 a good number of children are physically capable of becoming pregnant. Sure it is up to their parents when to teach their children about sex, etc. But teaching children that when their bodies change it means something other than having a monthly period, etc just gives them half the story.
