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I think you should give him a bit of information that, IME, grown men rarely know: There is NO correlation between the size at rest and the size when ready for action.
And his future partners, if they care at all (which is rare for women) will only care about the latter. He may very well be the biggest guy in his class, in the way that counts.
Also tell him, if you are brave enough to talk in this level of detail, that the vast majority of women never orgasm from intercourse under any circumstances, that porn is fiction, and that this is a big part of why most women don't care about size.
Now if he is gay, that might be a little different, and we will need some gay fathers to speak up, here .
Oh, yeah, and if you haven't already, maybe you better tell him right quick that you were laughing, not at his peen or his fears, but at the idea that there was anything to worry about .
Well, you can't go back in time and undo the laughing. The first thing I would do, if I were you, would be to start using the correct word.
Next I would speak to him about it. It sounds like he was made fun of in the shower? How can he handle when people make fun of him. It happens to everyone eventually! Can he use humor to diffuse? Something like Yah? Yo Mamma likes it.
If he can handle the taunting, he will gain confidence in HIMSELF. He does not need confidence in his penis any more than in his finger.
It can be a real touchy subject these days. I would not have laughed. Did you possibly laugh because you were embarrassed by the subject? Some boys get a sort of "syndrome" about it. I would have researched some websites, medical, that talked about the event and referred him to what is normal and how some take off sooner than others. I would not go into loving his dad despite his dad's penis size. Personally, I would not want to know about my dad's penis size at any time! I would have just worked with the facts of the maturing body. Isn't this sort of like bust size for girls or when they start to menstruate? My older son discussed everything with me often to my horror, everything.
I have five sons. We are very close and open with each other and talk about a lot of things, but I can't imagine one of them coming to me with that. At least, not at 13! I could see something possibly being said when they were younger, like maybe 7 or 8.
Hell, my youngest son turned 18 in June, and it is just he and I here now and he locks the bathroom door every time he goes in there, whether it's to shower or to do, well, you know........
What do thirteen year olds know about "size" anyway? Where would he even get the idea to compare his size to other boys? I would imagine they're all pretty shriveled in those cold locker room showers anyway. The showers are probably a great equalizer when it comes to something like that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
Well, for starters, you don't need to make him feel "more confident" about the size of his penis. I still can't believe he said this to you.
Everybody is different. This is a lesson we all should be teaching from Day 1.
Of course, middle school sucks for boys and girls. A friend of mine found out her 14-year-old was trimming his pubic hair to make his look bigger. As you can see here starting with post #6, it only gets worse for guys (or at least for guys who go to school with jerks):
Ladies, moms... Talking to your son about his sexual organs in almost all aspects is not your place. Tell him to talk to his father about it, or another adult male.
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech
Totally inappropriate at 13.
I'm not sure why everyone is incredulous that a son would bring this up with his mother, or that a 13-year-old is too young for an explanation along the lines of "Penises, like people, come in all shapes and sizes. Yours will function perfectly well when the time comes, so try not to worry about it."
When my daughter started her period about a month before her 12th birthday, her father and I didn't think we'd ever talk about anything else. We'd been talking about it in an age-appropriate manner for years, but she still wanted to hash out every detail, most commonly while we were eating dinner. That went on for the first several months. Now, she's almost 15 and it's not uncommon for her to say, in front of both of us, "I might be the next Virgin Mary because my period is a week late." (She's not sexually active yet.)
I think it's great that the OP's son is comfortable enough to talk about things like that with his mom.
Agreed. I'd try to keep back the laughing because it can be a tough road for guys
Also, that age pretty much sucks - in a football locker room you'll have a lot of guys, a lot of hormones, a lot of competition and a lot of different stages of development .... I'd bet at least a couple guys in there are already in need of the morning shave
In my school size jokes & teasing started about 5th grade - before then it was pretty much no one cares, no one was particularly shy .... but puberty, your own and the others around you, changes a lot of that
Everyone develops at their own pace, as mentioned that erect size is more important and hopefully not being shown in the locker room and with most things in HS as you age and gain more experience & maturity you realize that the end of the world concerns back then are pretty irrelevant in the grand scheme of things once you get to the other side
It sounds like he has enough confidence to even approach you - which is great .... help him maintain that confidence
In advance of this weekend's National Buffalo Wing Festival upstate, PETA released a plea to organizers to ban pregnant women from taking part in the celebrations "for the sake of their sons' sex organs."
And before anyone claims otherwise, no I don't actually believe that.
If he's average size, that's actually great Moderator Cut.
Moderator Cut
It's not about the size of the boat or the motion of the ocean. It's about making sure the ship doesn't leave the dock before all the passengers get off.
Last edited by Jaded; 08-29-2013 at 04:31 PM..
Reason: Spoiler alert: sorry, TMI.
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Ummmm
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The showers are probably a great equalizer when it comes to something like that.