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Did he? I must have missed that post. It's great if he did.
Yes he did.
I advised my daughter to not set him up to fail. Check her supplies and let him know ahead of time and that way she doesn't run out nor look like she wants him to jump and run to get them immediately.
He always has two to three days to bring them is what I advised her of.
Well he is taking her to court to set up child support. Those were his words and he is initiating it.
Not sure why but we will tell the attorney and go from there.
This came out of the blue. He messaged her saying he's taking her to court for child support. He and his dad were going to the courthouse to get it rolling. He thinks it's best for the baby.
I'm hopeful that's all there is to it but something inside tells me there's more to this.
After buying one round of supplies, they realize how expensive it is!
They realize his saying "he'll buy whatever the baby needs" is puts the majority of the expense on him. They've decided it is cheaper this way. It will be cheaper too because he doesn't have much of an income.
This is a good thing because you can establish paternity, get custody rolling, and eventually she'll get decent support as his income increases. But don't be surprised if he refuses to bring supplies now that he has made this statement. Don't be surprised if they don't get the ball rolling and they leave it in limbo instead.
In addition to realizing it's cheaper, they also don't like his buying her supplies whenever she asks because that has him jumping at her request, is more difficult to budget, and basically puts her in control in their eyes.
After buying one round of supplies, they realize how expensive it is!
They realize his saying "he'll buy whatever the baby needs" is puts the majority of the expense on him. They've decided it is cheaper this way. It will be cheaper too because he doesn't have much of an income.
This is a good thing because you can establish paternity, get custody rolling, and eventually she'll get decent support as his income increases. But don't be surprised if he refuses to bring supplies now that he has made this statement. Don't be surprised if they don't get the ball rolling and they leave it in limbo instead.
In addition to realizing it's cheaper, they also don't like his buying her supplies whenever she asks because that has him jumping at her request, is more difficult to budget, and basically puts her in control in their eyes.
I hope not. That was never the I intent for him to have to jump. That's why she gave him time. No just oh I need it NOW! That would be terrible to do to anyone.
I think you may be right. He may be getting the ball rolling while he isn't working. He starts in about 4 weeks. So maybe he wants his income imputed now instead of later? I don't know.
This was never about money.
My daughter would have taken care of the next round of supplies and then the next she would have asked. No one wanted to be unfair with finances
Hmm that's an interesting development. Wonder why he decided to do that.
I haven't read all the posts up to date, but having a legal arangement does offer protection for everyone really.
For example: (and don't take my word on this as it's entirely state dependant)
If there was any state assistance rendered, and there isn't a child support order on file, the state can go after the non-custodial parent for reimbursment even if they have been sending money/supplies
If any party were to change their mind and disagree and it required going to court at a later date, some states can order retroactive support back X number of years, and some to birth. Any monies given directly would be considered a gift and not count.
Legal protections of an unmarried father. You technically have no legal rights to your child. At any point, mom can say "you can't see your child" any more and the father would have no recourse at all. On the flipside, the father is technically not legally required to give child support at this point as well (i said legally required...not morally)
Mom can pack up and move across country at will, and nothing can stop her.
Few other reasons as well which prob escape me from my days of doing research when I had an active family court case.
I know i shared parts of my story in the beginning of this thread, but as a father who had to take mom to court just to be a part of my child's life, part of my motivation of having court orders, vs doing something outside of the court system was to protect myself as well. There doesn't have to be any sort of animosity necessaryily. Put aside the fact that there is a child here and look at it as a business contract. You simply draw up the legal expectations in terms of child support amount and pay dates, visitation schedule, holidays, rules on relocation, extraordinary expenses like day care, field trips, medical bills, etc etc. Get it all out of the way now so everyone knows the expectations.
I hope not. That was never the I intent for him to have to jump. That's why she gave him time. No just oh I need it NOW! That would be terrible to do to anyone.
I know that was never the intent; however, three days isn't enough notice if someone gets paid biweekly or monthly. He probably bought the supplies with his parents' money. It really is hard to budget without knowing what the expenses will be. I realize your daughter doesn't even know what the expenses will be too. They just want a set amount---as low as possible.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerseyt719
I think you may be right. He may be getting the ball rolling while he isn't working. He starts in about 4 weeks. So maybe he wants his income imputed now instead of later? I don't know.
This was never about money.
Since he is making it about the money, it should become about the money on her end. If he gets it in low, she needs to make sure it's raised when his income increases. Since he starts in four weeks, chances are he won't get a court date before then. If he does end up in court before then, she or her lawyer should mention that his income will be increasing. She should get what she can out of him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerseyt719
My daughter would have taken care of the next round of supplies and then the next she would have asked. No one wanted to be unfair with finances
That's asking them to trust her, and they clearly do not trust anyone. It's common in these situations. Many men prefer to give stuff instead of child support in cash because they view the cash as something the mother can use for herself. That's why it's surprising they are deciding to set child support, but it's really best this way.
Well he is taking her to court to set up child support. Those were his words and he is initiating it.
Not sure why but we will tell the attorney and go from there.
This came out of the blue. He messaged her saying he's taking her to court for child support. He and his dad were going to the courthouse to get it rolling. He thinks it's best for the baby.
I'm hopeful that's all there is to it but something inside tells me there's more to this.
Stay tuned.
Actually, I do think this is best for the baby to make is a legally binding and fair to both sides.
The father of the father being involved is a redflag....but just have your ducks in a row and it shouldn't be a problem.
I wonder if the dad's dad being involved has something to do with the fact that the grandparents on that side lied about sending you a text about wanting to see the baby, just a thought.
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