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One bit of advice--if your D has not deleted the texts from fob, have her keep them. On most phones she can take a "photo" of the texts as a back up. One never knows when they might be useful in a situation like this one.
She has all of them. Thankfully she has some smarts to keep those.
Sorry, Jersey, but this is very weird. The younger brother of FOB is dropping "things" off for the younger sister of MOB, and the parents of FOB won't LET him drop the "things" off unless they come with him? WTF? What does your younger daughter need so badly and urgently from the younger brother of FOB that she would agree to this intrusion on your lives from these difficult people who urged their son to create misery for your daughter, and by extension, you and the rest of your family? What "things" are these, that the parents would be so involved in this? There isn't anything that I can think of that could be over there that she could need so urgently, that she wouldn't just say, "Bring the stuff the next time I see you."
Could it be that he doesn't have a car, and they were giving him a lift over on their way somewhere else? I just don't get it. Doesn't make sense.
Maybe it's time to have a discussion with younger daughter, and explain to her that the stress from the FOB, as wound up and set marching by his parents, is making you sick. I can see that it would be unwise to tell her to break up with the brother of FOB, because you don't want to drive her farther into his arms, but you could point out that when you marry someone (or unfortunately make a baby with someone even when you don't marry them), you are stuck with that person's family for a very long time. These are people who trumpeted that their son wasn't going to pay support. They pushed him to accuse your oldest daughter of cheating on him, and cuckolding him, with absolutely no basis or evidence. They've behaved badly and stupidly thus far. Does she think that they would treat her any better? If the boy she is dating, knowing everything that has gone on, can't even say to his parents, "Oh, no thanks, I don't need a lift. I'll just take care of it another time. No need to bother you", then she can only expect the same crap from him as your oldest is getting from the FOB.
Isn't there a sleep away camp where she could get a job for the rest of the summer, to get her away from the brother? Or a relative who lives far away where she could go for an extended visit? Sounds like she needs a break from this kid to get some perspective. I know you're taking the girls on a cruise at the end of the summer - maybe she could go away until right before then. You don't need the double tie to these creeps that her dating him entails.
Ok. Let me clarify.
My daughter was going to a friend's house to make things for their sports trip this coming weekend. She was sleeping over. She loaned him a couple of things from her scrapbook ing machine for his brother's shower. She needed them to take with her.
He drives and has his own car. That's another story.
She did not know ahead of time they were coming with him. They just showed up with him. He got out and gave her the items and she noticed them in the car and that's when he told her they wouldn't let him bring the things unless they went with him.
I agree. It's all very bizarre. I wouldn't dream up half of the stuff they do.
How would I deal with a pregnant teen? abortion. Unwed motherhood ruins her chances in life and the child's life. Better still, a Depro Provera implant. No pregnancy for 4 or 5 years. I had enough sense to put myself on the pill when I was 15 without my mother knowing.
How would I deal with a pregnant teen? abortion. Unwed motherhood ruins her chances in life and the child's life. Better still, a Depro Provera implant. No pregnancy for 4 or 5 years. I had enough sense to put myself on the pill when I was 15 without my mother knowing.
How would I deal with a pregnant teen? abortion. Unwed motherhood ruins her chances in life and the child's life. Better still, a Depro Provera implant. No pregnancy for 4 or 5 years. I had enough sense to put myself on the pill when I was 15 without my mother knowing.
I get what you're saying. She did have the baby and we are all doing our best to help out.
She is also doing her part and knows that her education is the only way anything will work.
I am an open and honest parent. I didn't have my head in the sand. I got her birth control without judgement. Things happen.
I love this baby more than I can say now that all is said and done.
There has been no further contact from fob since my daughter had to be very clear with him regarding contact.
His brother has been great and said he updates him all the time on the baby.
The test is done and the lab said it would be several weeks before the results come back.
A friend of mine said their house is for sale. I have no idea about any of it and honestly don't care to know. The only way I knew was when this friend drove past there on her way somewhere.
Thankfully all has been calm for the past almost week.
The baby has begun teething which throws a whole new monkey wrench into the game. When she's not crying over her belly or teeth she is the happiest baby there is.
He has certainly behaved badly but its still horrible to not know how your baby is doing. Maybe a once a day text update on how baby is but continue with not allowing him to contact her.
He has denied paternity so how ever he is feeling while waiting is something he brought on himself.
The nerve of him trying to avoid court now! He started this in court, I'd make him finish it in court. He'll continually alternate between threatening with court and avoiding court. It's just another stall tactic.
It was one thing to appease him when he first asked to avoid court, but his refusing to provide supplies until the court determined what he should pay (before he raised the question of paternity) was his decision as a power/control play. He's so manipulative.
What does your daughter think of his request to avoid court after all of the games he has played?
For her protection, I suggest she go to court. That way everything is spelled out in legal papers and he can't play games and threaten to take her to court every time an issue arises. JMHO.
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