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The damage done from parents , mom or dad, or both, controlling, intimidating, over stepping their bounds, on their child's thoughts, emotions, and body is going to do WAY more damage to their child, then seeing porn.
If you don't respect your childs rights to their thoughts, learning, and their body, you are a bad parent.
Controlling a teenagers curiosity and humiliating them by even talking about porn with them , or all the time, is sick and wicked.
What should you do? Don't buy any channels like cinemax/hbo/etc. Don't buy playboy magazine/hustler magazine/etc. Kids need the internet though. Only buy software that WORKS on blocking porn. But do NOT block swear words/violence/etc.
Some software programs will block like half of all youtube videos, because in the comments someone will always swear, so it will be blocked.
They will also block thousands of websites that a kid might need for help with school.
So only get a software program that is LIGHTWEIGHT (will not ruin the speed of the computer) , and ONLY block porn sites.
DO NOT talk to your kid about this. Once it's blocked he/she will know, and as long as they can still go to youtube and other sites they need they will get the picture and leave it be.
And then they'll try to get it from somewhere else, whether it is buying a cheap laptop behind your back, or on their smart phone , or burning CD's from a friends computer.
There is nothing you can do about it.
So the only way to not psychologically ruin your kids, is by not talking about inappropriate things with them. Porn is a private issue between that person only.
Not to long ago in our History, people were getting married at 12,13,14,15 ...
Moderator Cut.
Last edited by Jaded; 10-02-2013 at 10:29 AM..
Reason: Too off-topic
For the most part, our culture is a toxic waste dump. On the scary side, many don't see anything wrong with it. Calling it out results in epithets such as "the morality police", "Bible thumpers", "fascists" or other phrases such as "no study has proven....", "minority rights" and on and on. Children are highly impressionable. They soak up "stuff" and all too often act on it. Youngsters commit suicide due to on-line bullying for goodness sakes. They want to be like Lady Gaga or Ms. Cyrus. Really? Bill Clinton was a great example of virtue right there in the oval office evidently. On another thread someone posted that CA enacted a law making it a crime to post "revenge" nude photos. Seriously? What about the thought that we train children not to allow others to take nude photos of them? I am actually not a prude. I believe consenting adults ought to be able to be free to relate in the privacy of their own abodes. I do not think that applies to impressionable children. And for those who are going to flame me with the statement that parents ought to control what their children see or don't see. Right. Good luck with that in this digital age where the kids understand technology better than their parents--by far. It is all about money, power and a wealthy elite making money off the lives of others. I love these limo liberal hollywood types to decry war, violence, restrictions on anything and yet earn millions portraying that very stuff. We are in deep, deep cultural trouble and there is nothing going to turn it around.
I think parents realize that this current generation of kids has no escape from exposure to pornography. But what parents remain naive about is the extreme nature of said pornography. I think they remember the material that was available when they first discovered porn and think that is comparable to what kids are exposed to now.
That's a surface level thought my honorable friend.
My parents could have said the same thing. I watched some porn in the late 80's and the type of content available in that era was much racier than what was available in my parents generation, just like this generation's content is racier than mine was.
Don't get me wrong, I definitely think it's racier and more widely available (thanks to the Internets) but I watched porn on VHS, which was also a newer technology and much more available than what was in my parents era.
We need to see the forest through the trees, the big picture is to invest time into raising healthy, well adjusted kids who are happy and have productive interests, and hope to heck that it's enough for them make good choices for themselves.
I had a lot of great theories of how to be a parent, too, before I actually became a parent. Then I quickly realized real world expirience made up for that pretty nicely. Your take on what amounts to 24/7 adult supervision tells me all I need to know about your real world expirience. Now I'm going to find a forum on raising cattle. I think I can offer some great advice to cattle farmers out there! I myself don't have any cattle, but one of my friends grew up on a farm.
+1 So true, and a good analogy.
But I’ll add this – Moderator Cut I doubt experience will teach him much. Sure having a kid opened my eyes about a bunch of things but even before I had a kid, I still had much more rational thoughts about parenting Moderator Cut.
Last edited by Jaded; 10-02-2013 at 10:33 AM..
Reason: Personal attack
I was a kid. And I have friends who have kids (one of them has 7 kids to be exact), and I have derived my opinions on parenting from people who have done it successfully. They have cows too, by the way., LOL
20yrsinBranson
Those friends of yours that have 7 kids must have an army of people watching their every move. Do they like hire people to watch them or something? I just don't get how they manage to have someone watchign all of them 24/7.
In the neighborhood where I grew up--which was urban, but far from the worst possible urban neighborhood--kids had all seen porn one way or another by middle school; and this was before anyone was on the web. So this is just more panic-mongering if you ask me. If children grow up well-educated at home, incidental exposure to sexual material is not going to do any harm.
Watching porn (by young people) has been linked to inability to form normal intimacy relationships in subsequent years. It has been linked to psychological disorders including eating disorders, body dysmorphia, lack of self esteem and confidence. It also has been linked to more violent sexual behavior and other forms of deviant sexual behavior.
If someone is using it daily in middle school, perhaps that might lead to the outcomes you are speaking of (although even then it would only be an increased probability, not a certainty.) Incidental or occasional exposure to it, no way.
The damage done from parents , mom or dad, or both, controlling, intimidating, over stepping their bounds, on their child's thoughts, emotions, and body is going to do WAY more damage to their child, then seeing porn.
If you don't respect your childs rights to their thoughts, learning, and their body, you are a bad parent.
Controlling a teenagers curiosity and humiliating them by even talking about porn with them , or all the time, is sick and wicked.
What should you do? Don't buy any channels like cinemax/hbo/etc. Don't buy playboy magazine/hustler magazine/etc. Kids need the internet though. Only buy software that WORKS on blocking porn. But do NOT block swear words/violence/etc.
Some software programs will block like half of all youtube videos, because in the comments someone will always swear, so it will be blocked.
They will also block thousands of websites that a kid might need for help with school.
So only get a software program that is LIGHTWEIGHT (will not ruin the speed of the computer) , and ONLY block porn sites.
DO NOT talk to your kid about this. Once it's blocked he/she will know, and as long as they can still go to youtube and other sites they need they will get the picture and leave it be.
And then they'll try to get it from somewhere else, whether it is buying a cheap laptop behind your back, or on their smart phone , or burning CD's from a friends computer.
There is nothing you can do about it.
So the only way to not psychologically ruin your kids, is by not talking about inappropriate things with them. Porn is a private issue between that person only.
Not to long ago in our History, people were getting married at 12,13,14,15 ...
It's a parent's job to talk to their kids about the things that will affect them. I talk to my kids about everything from sex and drugs to body image and bullying. I talk to them about birth control and about porn.
There's a difference between just forbidding your kids to watch or do something and talking to them about the effects of that thing.
Moderator Cut. But they need to know that the sex in porn movies is not necessarily the way everyone does it in real life. Moderator Cut They should know that in reality sex can be a lot more loving and less mechanical, and that it's okay to not want to do some things even if porn stars are willing to do them. (and no, my kids are not old enough for this aspect of the discussion yet...but eventually they will be and this is what we will be discussing)
Last edited by Jaded; 10-02-2013 at 10:39 AM..
Reason: Reply to an edited post; and removed inappropriate content
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