My 6 year old is whining about me forcing sports on her (babysitting, bullying)
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Ah, I think I had read it as she chose to do Bball and then decided she didn't like it.
Still, I'll stand by the lesson, just tweaking it a little bit. Her father signed her up for B-ball, if he gives in to her whining at 6 it could still teach her that she can get out of her responsibilities, whether she chose to take the responsibility now or not youth sports are about - in part - teaching responsibility, just by whining about it.
Well here, let's just take a look at it. I'll just copy and paste it for you.
I have a 6 year old going on 7. I have signed her up for a sport every season except summer time. She tells me she hates sports because there boring. She say she feels like I am forcing her to play sports. She is only in a rec league (not travel) for soccer. I mentioned basketball to her and she about flipped out on me, yet she plays it in the driveway with me all the time.
I explained to her that playing sports and trying new things is important. It is good exercise, builds self esteem, and encourages you to work in a team atmosphere.
As a parent I believe in pushing your kids to try new things. I feel that sometimes a kid does not know what they really want so I try to put them in new situations or to keep trying something so that they can become better at. They don't necessarily have to be the best, but need to understand that if you stick with something you can achieve greater results.
Am I being too pushy here?
She is 6 yrs old. This is not the first year he signed her up. She feels like he's forcing her to play sports, even though she hates them. She'd only be quitting something that he forced her to do in the first place. It's not as if the OP gave her a choice.
I disagree. While I understand what you are saying, that is not my approach. The kid should decide what to do with his/her free time. You don't have to do things you don't like, unless they're school. If a parent tries to force a kid to do something, by all means, push back!!! Parents should not be telling kids they have to do things. Remember the #1 rule of parenting, LET THE KID DO WHAT HE/SHE WANTS!!!!!!
Disagree. My kids would have sat home, played video games and ate pizza. They are couch potatoes. And lazy.
I planned activities for them, and forced them, yes, forced them, to do sports, dance, skiing, basketball, soccer, football, hockey, softball, swimming, fishing, horseback riding, golf and even hunting...Sometimes they pouted. And whined. And even cried. Tough.
And now, they are active, happy adults. And yes, they still talk to me. And remember fondly, "Mom, do you remember that time you made Sean go horseback riding and he got bucked off, and cried, and you made him get back on?". Yes, and Sean ended up doing rodeo in high school, he was seven when he was bucked...
So, I don't agree with psycho bully parents, who expect winning teams and all that, but a bit of pushing kids off the sofa into doing something is important.
If she does not like sports, maybe swimming or ice skating is a better plan...
My parents forced organized religion and sports on me and it's the reason why I hate those activities today. I know it's every father's dream to have his son/daughter be some pro athlete but let's face it, the chances of making it pro is the same as winning the lottery. I can't consider today's pro athletes to be any kind of role model either.
I have a 6 year old going on 7. I have signed her up for a sport every season except summer time. She tells me she hates sports because there boring. She say she feels like I am forcing her to play sports. She is only in a rec league (not travel) for soccer. I mentioned basketball to her and she about flipped out on me, yet she plays it in the driveway with me all the time.
I explained to her that playing sports and trying new things is important. It is good exercise, builds self esteem, and encourages you to work in a team atmosphere.
As a parent I believe in pushing your kids to try new things. I feel that sometimes a kid does not know what they really want so I try to put them in new situations or to keep trying something so that they can become better at. They don't necessarily have to be the best, but need to understand that if you stick with something you can achieve greater results.
Am I being too pushy here?
Last edited by Jaded; 10-10-2013 at 07:19 PM..
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Physical activity is important, but I think team sports for kids can be over-rated. If the child likes them, great. My son didn't. He's 24 now and an avid marathon runner, mountaineer, and enjoyed ultimate Frisbee on his high school team, but tried a summer soccer camp for a few weeks when he was about 10 and just couldn't get into it. I agree it's good to expose your kids to different activities to see what they like, but if they don't click with the activity, why push it? Would I like it if someone insisted I needed to do Crossfit when I'm happy with Zumba? Of course not.
Chess, music, and running were the things that really clicked for him, and unlike a lot of sports, are activities he will do his entire adult life. He prefers to compete with his brain and against himself with his solitary running and mountain climbing.
I have a 6 year old going on 7. I have signed her up for a sport every season except summer time. She tells me she hates sports because there boring. She say she feels like I am forcing her to play sports. She is only in a rec league (not travel) for soccer. I mentioned basketball to her and she about flipped out on me, yet she plays it in the driveway with me all the time.
I explained to her that playing sports and trying new things is important. It is good exercise, builds self esteem, and encourages you to work in a team atmosphere.
As a parent I believe in pushing your kids to try new things. I feel that sometimes a kid does not know what they really want so I try to put them in new situations or to keep trying something so that they can become better at. They don't necessarily have to be the best, but need to understand that if you stick with something you can achieve greater results.
Am I being too pushy here?
Yes, you are. And for some of us, sports *tore self esteem down*, especially when pushed too hard. Think about it.
I appreciate the feedback. Just so you know I am not a tiger dad! I could care less if my child is a professional athlete and I am not looking to fulfill some childhood dream of mind about being one. What I want for my kids is to be somewhat coordinated and to try new things. I've seen a lot of parents put there kid in something and it ends up being the parent that quits because their child wines one day. One day the child likes it, the next day they hate it. If your child hates school do you give up and pull her out of school one day because it's not for her?
Perhaps where I am at fault is not having her engage in the process more. I guess I am one of those parents that doesn't want their child to be so aloof about everything they do. Meaning I don't want them going through life starting and quitting everything. At least see it through.
OK, this actually makes some sense. Commitment is real. If they signed on for something that lasts a season or whatever the term is, it is best to tell your children that when commitments are made, they should see it through. However, if you are pushing her to keep on "re-enlisting", that is something else.
Yes we have done dance, arts, swimming etc. She doesn't quite show a passion yet for one particular thing.
Have you parents gone soft on your kids? Is your house a democracy? How has our generation changed? (I'm 44 by the way). How are you giving your kids direction?
Here is what I don't like about our generation:
-We let the kids do whatever they want, including endless hours of video gaming. If your kid loves that do you encourage that?
-We don't keep score at sports. Why? Because we don't want to hurt the other teams feelings. Give me a break! (p.s. the kids actually love to keep score)
-There is a lack of free play and too many organized activities. This may be a function of safety and two working parents
How are you teaching your kids hard work, discipline, team building etc. Are you using "soft parenting skills" like that's okay, encouragement, no big deal, Will do better next time, we can quit and try something else.
Have I touched any nerves yet? Keep the comments coming!!
If your kids are killing the bad guys on screen, well, that's all for the better. Moreover, while you are correct that there is a lack of free play in this helicopter parented generation, well, not letting them waste the bad guys on screen is, if anything, another attempt to deny the kid something they enjoy in their free time.
And yes, I agree the nonsense about not keeping score is a denial of the real world of competition. And teaching your kids hard work, discipline, team building is all for the good. But your little one is SIX, yes? There is such a concept as too soon.
Disagree. My kids would have sat home, played video games and ate pizza. They are couch potatoes. And lazy.
I planned activities for them, and forced them, yes, forced them, to do sports, dance, skiing, basketball, soccer, football, hockey, softball, swimming, fishing, horseback riding, golf and even hunting...Sometimes they pouted. And whined. And even cried. Tough.
And now, they are active, happy adults. And yes, they still talk to me. And remember fondly, "Mom, do you remember that time you made Sean go horseback riding and he got bucked off, and cried, and you made him get back on?". Yes, and Sean ended up doing rodeo in high school, he was seven when he was bucked...
So, I don't agree with psycho bully parents, who expect winning teams and all that, but a bit of pushing kids off the sofa into doing something is important.
If she does not like sports, maybe swimming or ice skating is a better plan...
Uh, Jasper12? That lifestyle is pure heaven!!
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