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Great Feedback Roam. Some kids were born to fly, but most need some nudging (I call it pushing) The real question is do kids rebel against their parents because of the tough discipline or do they rebel because they have too much time on their hands and no direction. I think the latter.
For me, it was the former. I'm glad that my father is dead.
Great Feedback Roam. Some kids were born to fly, but most need some nudging (I call it pushing) The real question is do kids rebel against their parents because of the tough discipline or do they rebel because they have too much time on their hands and no direction. I think the latter.
Haha, pretty telling that you pick out the one post that agrees with your "my way or the highway" parenting philosophy. I am very dubious that your intent was to ask for advice at all.
I have two kids who are now 15 and 13. When they were younger, they didn't want to try ANYTHING. Force them? meh.
He played basketball (age 6), football (age 8), baseball (age 7) and track (one season at age 12) along with karate (age 5-6) and violin (age 9) . At 13 he still plays football, basketball and the violin. NONE of these things did he ASK to do.
She played softball (age 5), basketball (age 7), soccer (age 4-5), tennis (one season at age 12) and track (one season at age 13) and saxophone (age 10). At age 15 she still plays softball, basketball and is in school band and marching band. Again, she did not ASK to do ANY of these things.
What they did was TRY. He said track was the most boring thing he's ever done in his life and decided after the lower division that he was done with baseball. But he TRIED them and he still loves doing some of them. In fact, of the 24 ish boys on the football team only 4 of them are being recognized as playing all 6 years of football (before high school ball). She hated soccer and tennis and just didn't feel she was competitive enough at track. But softball? Amazing. Basketball? pretty dang good and she LOVES band.
Again, had I not encouraged (you can say forced...) them to try these things they wouldn't have. OR they'd be like the 13 year olds playing football for the first time...just not experienced enough at this point to really be any good at it...
eta: I don't play sports...I sew, knit, crochet which they've never had any interest in I forgot about my daughter's culinary class and intense hatred for anything dance related or that required too much girly attire
Last edited by 2blessed2stress; 10-08-2013 at 02:03 PM..
Reason: adding info
Great Feedback Roam. Some kids were born to fly, but most need some nudging (I call it pushing) The real question is do kids rebel against their parents because of the tough discipline or do they rebel because they have too much time on their hands and no direction. I think the latter.
I have a hard time understanding the desired outcome with this. What is it that the pushing is intending to achieve? Given that you already have the seeds of rebellion, what does your conclusion leave you but to push harder? I am confused.
Again, had I not encouraged (you can say forced...) them to try these things they wouldn't have.
But they didn't stay in all of the sports/activities you put them in, so at a certain point you must have allowed them to decide if they wanted to continue on or find something new to try. You say your son only did track for a season because he said it was boring. The OP has forced (you say encouraged) his daughter to keep at soccer for over 2 years even though she thinks its boring. That is more then enough time for the girl to experience soccer and see if it is something she likes.
Maybe in a few years the daughter will realize she likes soccer, and maybe even joins a intramural league in college as a fun activity to do with friends. However forcing her to play when she doesn't want to isn't going to make her like the sport. Being forced into something is not fun.
Don't you just love the journey of parent hood. Some say forced, others encouraged, and then some let the kids do what they want. Who is right? Probably nobody. When your old and grey you will look back how silly it all was, but the important part is that you cared to make a difference in their lives!
Or my daughter now, age 21, "Mom, why didn't you FORCE me to play the piano?". She played for two years, of tears, misery, pouting...I gave up. She would not practice, or work on music theory. Her brothers all play, one professionally. They loved playing...
You really can't win...
Have you asked HER what she might be interested in doing as far as something new?
She might like to go to the local Joann Fabric shop and learn how to sew.
She may like to go to a reading group at the library.
She might be more interested in learning how to bowl.
Something that stimulates her brain instead of her braun.
She is 6 years old and you are being very pushy. If she asks to join something I would allow her to do that but if she decided she didn't like it I would not allow her to quit.
We did that with our children, they could start anything they wanted to but they had to finish the entire season even if they did not like it.
Four Star post. I wish I could rep you again. Not all kids like sports or the activities Mom and Dad pick for them.
We put our oldest in dance class (tap and ballet) for three years - we found out much later how much she DESPISED it. She always hated sports and active games, too, but she was never pushed into that because DH (her Dad) always said he "didn't want to raise a tomboy". She chose Girl Scouts, the elementary and high school bands (playing clarinet), participating in library and scholastic reading competitions (she was a voracious reader), and raising guinea pigs for 4-H (she sold the piglets to a local pet shop).
You have to let your child find her own interests. True, some of them may be a little off the wall. We had 16 guinea piglets born in two weeks' time! I guess she liked cleaning cages better than dancing or playing on a team.
Edit: Side note - she "gifted" four of her friends each with a guinea piglet and got them to join 4-H too. I used to drive them to the meetimgs in my van!!!!!
Last edited by Mrs. Skeffington; 10-09-2013 at 02:58 AM..
Great Feedback Roam. Some kids were born to fly, but most need some nudging (I call it pushing) The real question is do kids rebel against their parents because of the tough discipline or do they rebel because they have too much time on their hands and no direction. I think the latter.
I think that too much parental control and too little parental control are equally unhealthy.
Or my daughter now, age 21, "Mom, why didn't you FORCE me to play the piano?". She played for two years, of tears, misery, pouting...I gave up. She would not practice, or work on music theory. Her brothers all play, one professionally. They loved playing...
You really can't win...
Exactly. I have my 7 year old son and 6 yr old niece in piano now because I rather hear the whining now while their voices are little, than trying to to get them to do it when they're 15 and minds are cluttered by technology and hormones. Plus I know that when they get the hang of it, I won't hear a peep from their mouths. Not to mention these activities, sports, arts, music, etc are BENEFICIAL TO THEIR GROWING BRAINS. It's not about "FORCING" them to do anything, its about parental guidance and direction. They don't have to stick with it if it is making them miserable but give them a chance to TRY it for a while.
Where would Alicia Keys (mom put her in piano at 8 yrs old -- 13 time grammy winner), Serena Williams (dad learned to play tennis JUST to coach his daughters) and countless other acheivers be if their parents were just passively watching them grow up?
"Aww my baby, you dun wanny do tennis no more? OK baby no go no more. You stay home and watch adventure time.. and here's new ipad mommy bought just for you".
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
Have you asked HER what she might be interested in doing as far as something new?
Essential.
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I forgot about my daughter's culinary class and intense hatred for anything dance related or that required too much girly attire 
You got to love it
