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Another interesting technique regarding this issue is Michelle Obama's approach. She lets her girls choose one activity that they would like to do and then she also chooses another one for them. Her logic is that she wants to teach them to master a new school that might not be in their comfort zone. I think it's an idea worth considering.
I hated organized sports as a kid and still do. But I love to bike, run, rock and mountain climb, surfing, windsurfing, sailing... My daughter is like I was but we ride bikes, do a little run, hike, she likes to dance, is learning to windsurf and wants to kite Excercise is important ball games not so much.
Yes we have done dance, arts, swimming etc. She doesn't quite show a passion yet for one particular thing.
Have you parents gone soft on your kids? Is your house a democracy? How has our generation changed? (I'm 44 by the way). How are you giving your kids direction?
Here is what I don't like about our generation:
-We let the kids do whatever they want, including endless hours of video gaming. If your kid loves that do you encourage that?
-We don't keep score at sports. Why? Because we don't want to hurt the other teams feelings. Give me a break! (p.s. the kids actually love to keep score)
-There is a lack of free play and too many organized activities. This may be a function of safety and two working parents
How are you teaching your kids hard work, discipline, team building etc. Are you using "soft parenting skills" like that's okay, encouragement, no big deal, Will do better next time, we can quit and try something else.
Have I touched any nerves yet? Keep the comments coming!!
LOL! Oh my! This reads like you are itching for a fight, dude! Well I suppose you'll provoke one soon enough. Good luck with that.
I think you are going from one extreme to another. There is such a thing as a middle ground. I think most of the people in here are coming from that place. Just because folks may not think pushing a kid to do a sport they hate past one season is a great idea, doesn't mean they are raising spoiled couch potatoes who are never asked to do anything hard, are never made to stick with anything or compete in any way. I think perhaps you are reading into the responses a bit? Some believe those traits can be taught with other methods besides making a 6 year old play the same team sport for multiple years. If that is the method YOU chose then great for you, but, I mean, you did ask people what they thought of your method. It's not like anyone volunteered their opinions unsolicited. LOL
Oh please....hadn't you heard, children are either in intensive sports with 2 practices a day, or they are Dorito eating blobs who play video games 24/7. There is no middle ground or moderation. How dare you?
Yes we have done dance, arts, swimming etc. She doesn't quite show a passion yet for one particular thing.
Have you parents gone soft on your kids? Is your house a democracy? How has our generation changed? (I'm 44 by the way). How are you giving your kids direction?
Here is what I don't like about our generation:
-We let the kids do whatever they want, including endless hours of video gaming. If your kid loves that do you encourage that?
-We don't keep score at sports. Why? Because we don't want to hurt the other teams feelings. Give me a break! (p.s. the kids actually love to keep score)
-There is a lack of free play and too many organized activities. This may be a function of safety and two working parents
How are you teaching your kids hard work, discipline, team building etc. Are you using "soft parenting skills" like that's okay, encouragement, no big deal, Will do better next time, we can quit and try something else.
Have I touched any nerves yet? Keep the comments coming!!
I would recommend some parenting classes, your home life sounds like a complete mess.
Midlifeman, I think it is important for them to finish what they started, but it's equally important for them to have some choice in their activities. My 8yo son has thus far tried soccer, karate, circus arts, drums, art, and BMX riding. He still likes 2 of them and hasn't further pursued the rest. After he completed a class, I let him decide if he wanted to re-enroll. We require him to sign up for one outside interest besides school/home, and present multiple options, but let him decide. Are team sports necessary? Absolutely not, every type of interest provides benefit and personal growth. I like our approach. Kids are more invested when they have some sense of personal choice in the matter. It's just basic respect, something earlier generations of parents didn't necessarily show/feel towards kids.
I have a 6 year old going on 7. I have signed her up for a sport every season except summer time. She tells me she hates sports because there boring. She say she feels like I am forcing her to play sports. She is only in a rec league (not travel) for soccer. I mentioned basketball to her and she about flipped out on me, yet she plays it in the driveway with me all the time.
I explained to her that playing sports and trying new things is important. It is good exercise, builds self esteem, and encourages you to work in a team atmosphere.
As a parent I believe in pushing your kids to try new things. I feel that sometimes a kid does not know what they really want so I try to put them in new situations or to keep trying something so that they can become better at. They don't necessarily have to be the best, but need to understand that if you stick with something you can achieve greater results.
Am I being too pushy here?
I coached Basketball at the YMCA for 22 years (6-8 years old). I have been coaching youth
Baseball at my park since 1986 (two seasons a year). I also coached men's Basketball, men's
softball, and women's for many years.
Both of my kids played Baseball, Basketball, and Swam, until they decided on Baseball in their
middle teens. Both played high school ball, got scholarships, played 4 years and graduated.
My Grandson started Baseball at three and loved it. He made the decision to play, we never
pushed him. He is now 12, pretty good and still loves it. My 3 yr old grandson has no desire
in any sports right now, and we will not push him.
All of those reasons for sports helping her are true, but if she doesn't want to play, you will
be driving a wedge between her and those very sports. Sports are supposed to be fun. If
you take that away, all you have is work. She'll grow up hating them, and you.
I would recommend some parenting classes, your home life sounds like a complete mess.
Not really. Everyone has a different method and perspective of raising children.
Like I said In my previous post, when I was at a very young age; I had no choice but to be pushed into various extracurricular activities whether I like it or not. My activities include Frisbee, Badminton, Tennis, Track & Field, Kung Fu, Swimming.
I am thankful for my parents getting me into that mindset. Why? Life isn't always nice to you.
I coached Basketball at the YMCA for 22 years (6-8 years old). I have been coaching youth
Baseball at my park since 1986 (two seasons a year). I also coached men's Basketball, men's
softball, and women's for many years.
Both of my kids played Baseball, Basketball, and Swam, until they decided on Baseball in their
middle teens. Both played high school ball, got scholarships, played 4 years and graduated.
My Grandson started Baseball at three and loved it. He made the decision to play, we never
pushed him. He is now 12, pretty good and still loves it. My 3 yr old grandson has no desire
in any sports right now, and we will not push him.
All of those reasons for sports helping her are true, but if she doesn't want to play, you will
be driving a wedge between her and those very sports. Sports are supposed to be fun. If you take that away, all you have is work. She'll grow up hating them, and you.
Some people are clueless when it comes to picking battles with their children. Force them to bow to your each and every whim, while you control every aspect of their being and you might win a few battles, but you will most likely start a war, one that you WILL not win.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you're "playing" something, it should be fun! If it's not supposed to be fun, the word "play" should not be used.
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