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One of the things that I worry about is good kids that fall into drug and alcohol abuse. How best do parents try to help their kids avoid this trap? What in your opinion do parents need to do to help their kids stay away from drug and alcohol abuse?
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There is evidence many young people are trying to stay healthy. A recent survey of 11, 13, & 15 year olds showed that the USA has one of the lowest rates of tobacco use (4%) & drunk more than twice only 6%. The #1 drug of choice appeared to be cannabis ("marijuana"), at 22% (it has a 0% death rate & does not cause illness). The UNICEF survey results were from 29 countries.
Peer pressure is often self-pressure. Kids may want to be like their friends. Or kids might offer friends one drug or another just as a friendly social thing. People who use drugs like crack, meth, & heroin probably won't share.
Also, drugs aren't just for thrills. Many use because they have a medical problem, a bad life not entirely their own fault, or traumatic memories.
Last edited by Jaded; 10-23-2013 at 02:51 AM..
Reason: deleted off topic parts
One of the more effective deterrents is being involved in activities and having goals that would be derailed by drug consumption. Frankly, what you're up against is that being intoxicated can be really fun. But there are any number of fun things we choose not to do because of the possible negative consequences. Teens, with their underdeveloped prefrontal cortexes, aren't great at thinking about consequences, but a developmentally typical adolescent can at least get the idea.
Peer group is also key. Problem is, you can't order up perfect friends for your kid and wave a magic wand to make them buddies. What you can do is put the kid in situations where they'll have the opportunity to make good friends, and encourage it, and hope for the best.
I may sound stupid,but make sure their mental health is on point.
Lots of people take drugs because they can't handle life.
I was shy and drinking gave me confidence,but I had social anxiety and panic attacks.
As far as using drugs for fun,I can say 60% of people I know use them because they have an underlying mental illness.
I don't think most people use drugs for fun.
jerseygal4u, that is very sound advice. Self-medication is a huge reason for taking drugs and alcohol.
I agree with the posters who have advised exposing your child to the adverse effects of drugs and involving your child in activities that would derail the idea of drug taking. Emphasizing education and rewarding those achievements made a difference in my life. I was also exposed to their friends from high school who had taken the heroin express... indelible experience
Lead by example, demonstrate responsible alcohol use that isn't something hidden from them (assuming you do drink,) be honest and have honest conversations at the appropriate age. Dishonest conversations (people who smoke weed/drink are losers and don't get jobs or into college) backfire when the kid sees an honor roll student drinking or toking up. Kids need to trust you. Not like you as a buddy, but trust you as a parent.
Having raised two kids to adulthood, all I can say is, "There but for the grace of God, go I". I don't have any great recommendations. I don't have books to recommend, lectures to give, activities to recommend, peer groups to engineer kids into, etc.
I may sound stupid,but make sure their mental health is on point.
Lots of people take drugs because they can't handle life.
I was shy and drinking gave me confidence,but I had social anxiety and panic attacks.
As far as using drugs for fun,I can say 60% of people I know use them because they have an underlying mental illness.
I don't think most people use drugs for fun.
I think this is important. I drank and smoked pot and cigarettes in high school because the kids who did those things would be my friends. I wasn't socially acceptable to the "good" kids. I was anxious and depressed and of course back then no one even knew those words. Drinking gave me confidence and smoking made me feel part of a group. It was a way to belong.
^In school the stoners and freaks were a hell of a lot nicer than the good kids if you didn´t fit in.
Exactly. They were not judgmental because I wasn't attractive and was too tall and didn't have the right clothes or whatever. If a kid feels rejected and doesn't fit in anywhere acceptable, they might very well gravitate toward a drug-and-alcohol crowd if THOSE people accept them.
Parents would do well to keep that in mind.
FYI, I was VERY aware of how I'd gone down the wrong road at a young age, so with my own daughter I was different. I was involved in her life and school activities much more than my parents were with mine, and I encouraged her to join things she was interested in and to continue to try to find her place when things like sports didn't work out for her. She was involved with the color guard/marching band throughout her high school years and her friends were all anti-drug and non-drinking kids who were into their musical instruments (band geeks, they called themselves). She gravitated toward those kids who were serious about their studies and their lives. But I monitored her, always, to make sure she was doing OK.
And learned some lessons myself. Oddly, my daughter is very attractive--(people who see pictures of her always say, "That's YOUR daughter?" without realizing what they sound like, lol). I discovered when she was a teen that just because a girl is beautiful, she doesn't automatically have it easier. Pretty girls can still have self-doubts and anxieties. Most of all, I had to give her what I needed at that age--acceptance for who SHE is, not who I wanted her to be.
Keep your kids away from that sort of environment and they will grow up to be like mine - derisive of the party lifestyle.
I have also been careful to point to certain users in the family and explain what was killing them, and that my kids share those same addictive DNA. I have told them they have to be doubly careful because there are alkies on both sides of the family. They watched cigarettes kill their much loved grandpa, so smoking is permanently wiped out of our family tree.
It seems to have worked. My daughter is 21 and didn't even drink on her own 21st, my son is 17 studying hard and getting a job too.
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