Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't necessarily believe in the 21 drinking age law.. for me it would be a grey area of a multitude of factors.. how are their grades? How responsible are they otherwise? Are they informing me that they may indeed use my home to throw some sort of a party? Are they smart about it? Do they clean up afterwards and leave the house in excellent shape? In Europe drinking at this age is not all that uncommon. Of course I'd need some plausible deniability in place to protect myself from the gestapo. In general they should wait until at least 18 but after that I really don't care if they drink. Making them wait until 21 is just silly.
I'll let my kids have a beer at 15-16 in my presence at home. This whole taboo culture around it is somewhat overblown to me. I wouldn't let them get stone faced drunk or anything though. I just think there's too much of a gestapo type mentality around alcohol (and marijuana for that manner) .. kids might be more mature about things if they are introduced to them younger, and of course they always want what they can't have. If they are getting straight A's they will get a LOT of freedom from myself. Their grades and behavior determine their level of freedom.
I don't necessarily believe in the 21 drinking age law.. for me it would be a grey area of a multitude of factors.. how are their grades? How responsible are they otherwise? Are they informing me that they may indeed use my home to throw some sort of a party? Are they smart about it? Do they clean up afterwards and leave the house in excellent shape? In Europe drinking at this age is not all that uncommon. Of course I'd need some plausible deniability in place to protect myself from the gestapo. In general they should wait until at least 18 but after that I really don't care if they drink. Making them wait until 21 is just silly.
I'll let my kids have a beer at 15-16 in my presence at home. This whole taboo culture around it is somewhat overblown to me. I wouldn't let them get stone faced drunk or anything though. I just think there's too much of a gestapo type mentality around alcohol (and marijuana for that manner) .. kids might be more mature about things if they are introduced to them younger, and of course they always want what they can't have. If they are getting straight A's they will get a LOT of freedom from myself. Their grades and behavior determine their level of freedom.
That's a completely different conversation. What you choose to do with your kids, in your home, isn't the issue. The issue is the children of others, drinking alcohol in your home, unsupervised and without parental consent. One is legal in many states, the other never is.
I would have called the police as well and had them all charged with trespassing and whatever else they could be charged with and let the police call their respective parents and deal with them.
You can't "have" someone charged. Ring, ring, "yes officer I would like to order a trespass. Oh to go please."
I don't necessarily believe in the 21 drinking age law.. for me it would be a grey area of a multitude of factors.. how are their grades? How responsible are they otherwise? Are they informing me that they may indeed use my home to throw some sort of a party? Are they smart about it? Do they clean up afterwards and leave the house in excellent shape? In Europe drinking at this age is not all that uncommon. Of course I'd need some plausible deniability in place to protect myself from the gestapo. In general they should wait until at least 18 but after that I really don't care if they drink. Making them wait until 21 is just silly.
I'll let my kids have a beer at 15-16 in my presence at home. This whole taboo culture around it is somewhat overblown to me. I wouldn't let them get stone faced drunk or anything though. I just think there's too much of a gestapo type mentality around alcohol (and marijuana for that manner) .. kids might be more mature about things if they are introduced to them younger, and of course they always want what they can't have. If they are getting straight A's they will get a LOT of freedom from myself. Their grades and behavior determine their level of freedom.
I don't believe in a lot of the posted speed limits either but I wouldn't encourage kids to ignore them.
At least in many states, it's perfectly legal for parents to let their own kids of any age have alcoholic drinks, but not other peoples' kids. The really bad thing is that most likely these kids were going to drive away from the party.
Calling the police will prevent any of these kids from ever joining the military. I know that's not everyone's goal, but I'm a recruiter, and I'm amazed at how many kids can't join because of criminal charges. Even if the charges were later dropped, it pretty much ends that opportunity.
If it was my girls, I would have first contacted the parents of all the kids to come pick them up.....
How would you do that? Do you know all those kids? Have the phone numbers of all those parents? Would you ask the kids to make a straight line and tell you their parents names and phone numbers one by one while you called?
I see it a little different. If I came home to find 20-30underage kids drinking in my home, I would for sure call the cops. Mainly to help with getting the alcohol fueled kids dispersed without any conflict. I am willing and to bet thAt had somethin to do with it
By calling the cops you are basically giving up and allowing the state to parent your children. I do not think a 15 and a 16 year old are too young to be left alone for the weekend if they are responsible. Clearly if these were troubled kids than the parents were nuts to leave them alone. If they were good kids and earned trust then clearly calling the cops and possibly destroying their futures is irresponsible and lazy parenting. Colleges look at your record and other such things. Also when you apply for scholarships and grants an MIP could hurt your chances. Why would they give their money to a kid with a record when you have Susie or Sean who kept their nose clean?
If in 15 years this happened with my son, and if it was 30 kids I would have had them all stand in a room and write down their parent's numbers. My husband and I would then start calling them for the parents to come and pick them up. This way I would give the other parents a chance to parent without the police involved and I would shake the liability of the children drinking and driving. If some parents could not be reached, my husband and I would drive each to their respective home, knock on the door, and not go anywhere until we notified a parent/gardian what had happened and felt sure that they were now in safe hands. Then my son would be grounded. He would have to clean the entire house. My husband would log all the damages and my son would work to pay it back. Some in manual labor around the house, and some by wearing a sign in the local downtown that read "I disrespected my parents and I disrespected myself when I allowed my friends to disrespect my household." He would be paid 5 dollars an hour for this until all was made right. He would also have to write apology letters to all our neighbors who were disturbed and give them free lawn care/grunt work for a week (a week for each neighbor that is) and he would have to write apology letters to his friends' parents for allowing his home to be the site of irresponsible underage drinking. He would also have to pay back the legal bill that I would receive for consulting my lawyer about possible liability.
I threw parties like this when I was their age. Some of my friends did too. It was a typical sneaky teenager thing to do. It was a part of growing up. Yes, sometimes cops broke it up because we got too loud or there was a bit of drinking, but my parents would have NEVER, in my wildest dreams, called the cops on me. And I would never do that to my own child.
Some parents are... very odd. Is it so hard to deal with your own kids in a reasonable matter without calling the police?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
