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I was just thinking about when I was age 6 to mid teens I was the big brother to my younger sister(she's 6 years younger) and we spend a lot of time together but a lot of times I was just picking on her for seemingly no reason. Although she did start a lot of fights too but I should have dealt with it better. Don't get me wrong we loved eachother like any family does but I just feel like I could have been a much better big brother to her and helped raise her in some ways. The change from being a child to an adult is so massive. Some people keep a lot of their traits but I think I'm absolutely nothing like I was as a kid.
Anyway, I just felt like posting this wondering if others can share their feelings. I've been thinking about becoming a parent the last year or so(23yo atm).
Not all kids are. I had two older sisters and one younger. Out of the four of us, only one was mean. She's still nasty and says awful things about people. She has insecurity issues and is very jealous. It always blew my mind that we could be raised in the same family, and she turn out so differently. She has a weird view of everything, thinking she didn't get treated as fairly as us or wasn't as loved as us. When she says this stuff, it puzzles us because we were all treated the same.
Outside of families, I can't even begin to list all of the reasons kids are mean to other kids. There are so many reasons.
I was just thinking about when I was age 6 to mid teens I was the big brother to my younger sister(she's 6 years younger) and we spend a lot of time together but a lot of times I was just picking on her for seemingly no reason. Although she did start a lot of fights too but I should have dealt with it better. Don't get me wrong we loved eachother like any family does but I just feel like I could have been a much better big brother to her and helped raise her in some ways. The change from being a child to an adult is so massive. Some people keep a lot of their traits but I think I'm absolutely nothing like I was as a kid.
Anyway, I just felt like posting this wondering if others can share their feelings. I've been thinking about becoming a parent the last year or so(23yo atm).
Kindness, compassion, a sense of fair play - no person comes in to this life knowing these things.
These are positive characteristics that must be taught.
And parents teach them best by modeling them for their children.
See, kids are always watching and learning, so the key is to be very aware of all you say and do.
Failure to be aware results in kids who bully and treat others badly.
Perhaps because some kids sometimes feel like they need to assert themselves (more) and/or to establish a "dominant/superior position" relative to/among other kids?
In some situations, kids, like adults, feel badly about themselves and it makes them feel better to make someone else feel bad.
Other times it is pure jealousy.
With young kids, I think it's jockeying for a position. Any time I saw it with mine, I called them out on it and asked if they really felt that bad about themself that they had to knock each other down.
Kindness, compassion, a sense of fair play - no person comes in to this life knowing these things.
These are positive characteristics that must be taught.
And parents teach them best by modeling them for their children.
See, kids are always watching and learning, so the key is to be very aware of all you say and do.
Failure to be aware results in kids who bully and treat others badly.
You know, I have to disagree with these statements. While it certainly helps to have these things modeled, the lack of teaching these things does not necessarily doom the kid to a life of nastiness. I knew a man raised by cold mean parents in terrible circumstances. I doubt they taught him one single positive thing. Yes he was so compassionate and kind and always went out of his way to help others.
By the same token we all know families who raise all their kids the same way with the same basic teaching and one may turn out a complete clod with no feelings of tenderness or empathy for anything.
But I do tend to agree that bullying kids probably come from a home where there is little awareness of feelings of others. I just don't think you can make blanket assumptions or statements. Remember each child is born not a blank slate but a person with their own personality. It is up to us as good parents to try to nourish the positive characteristics and help them deal with the negative ones.
Kindness, compassion, a sense of fair play - no person comes in to this life knowing these things.
These are positive characteristics that must be taught.
And parents teach them best by modeling them for their children.
See, kids are always watching and learning, so the key is to be very aware of all you say and do.
Failure to be aware results in kids who bully and treat others badly.
I normally agree with you loves, but compassion is innate or at least partially innate. If you google compassion genetics you'll find some interesting articles.
Anyhow, my sense of right and wrong, my compassion for people and most certainly animals (20 year ethical veg) was not taught to me by my parents. I witnessed quite a bit of stealing as a youngster and I've never been a thief, not even as a child. It's interesting. With that said, I think for many in our society that the rule of law exists to keep people honest. You know the saying "locking your doors will keep honest people out" or something like that.
To address the OP- I think some kids, just like some adults, have a sadistic nature, unfortunately.
^I agree with you. This is a controversial topic indeed. Children can be sadists. It's why even docile, nice kids will join in the bullying of one victim even though they're aware of the pain that they're inflicting. I was guilty of this myself even though I too had been bullied before so I knew what it felt like.
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