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DD2 is not ready for college emotionally or academically. She's gotten all A's so far so she never learned how to study? Do you really think that' s going to happen in college? Things will just come easy to her because she skipped a couple of grades and was labeled gifted? She's going to be with people who are just as smart or smarter than she is. And you want her to go away to college at 16? If she can't handle stress now without drinking and she lives with you, what do you think will happen when she's on her own? Do you want to get a call from the police saying that she's killed someone while she was drunk? Or worse, that she's dead due to an alcoholic accident?
As everyone else has stated: Take this as a wake up call and get help for your family before it is to late.
My first thought too.
If you think she should go to college next year you are delusional. If you think college will be a breeze because of the classes she is taking this year you are delusional. She is in no way shape or form mature enough to go off to college. She's already proven that. She's not even mature enough to be a Junior in high school!
This whole thread is unbelievable to me. The denial is mind boggling.
Last edited by WhereTheSidewalkEnds; 11-06-2013 at 06:15 PM..
Ivory, the more I read your posts in this thread, the more I realize your problem is your marriage, not your children. Your children are mere pawns. You don't like DD1; your husband cuts her slack. You adore DD2; your husband parents her with a baseball bat. It's like you each have your own precious pets, and you each despise and resent each other's pets. Forget the parenting forum. You need serious marriage counseling. Until you and your husband resolve your marriage problems, your children are doomed to unhealthy parenting.
DD2 is not ready for college emotionally or academically. She's gotten all A's so far so she never learned how to study? Do you really think that' s going to happen in college? Things will just come easy to her because she skipped a couple of grades and was labeled gifted? She's going to be with people who are just as smart or smarter than she is. And you want her to go away to college at 16? If she can't handle stress now without drinking and she lives with you, what do you think will happen when she's on her own? Do you want to get a call from the police saying that she's killed someone while she was drunk? Or worse, that she's dead due to an alcoholic accident?
This is great comment. Sometimes you need to slow these really bright kids down for their own good. Too often they crash and burn because they are simply not ready And mostly, they re to immature to realize it themselves. That is the responsibility of the parents.
Ivory, the more I read your posts in this thread, the more I realize your problem is your marriage, not your children. Your children are mere pawns. You don't like DD1, your husband cuts her slack. You adore DD2, your husband parents her with a baseball bat. It's like you each have your own precious pets, and you each despise and resent each other's pets. Forget the parenting forum. You need serious marriage counseling. Until you and your husband resolve your marriage problems, your children are doomed to unhealthy parenting.
DD1 has already voted with her feet. That ship has sailed. Even if she comes home, the relationship has changed forever.
DD1 has already voted with her feet. That ship has sailed. Even if she comes home, the relationship has changed forever.
It hasn't sailed in the marriage. They're still using her as a pawn in their relationship, and they will continue to do so. For example, Ivory didn't want DD1 to have a car, and her husband handed DD1 the car keys. They can't agree on anything. They undermine each other. They use the children to hurt each other. They'll continue to do it long after DD2 moves out. I can already envision future threads of Ivory's being about her husband refusing to pay for DD2's college as a punishment. It doesn't matter how old the kids get or where they live, they will always remain pawns in the marriage.
It hasn't sailed in the marriage. They're still using her as a pawn in their relationship, and they will continue to do so. For example, Ivory didn't want DD1 to have a car, and her husband handed DD1 the car keys. They can't agree on anything. They undermine each other. They use the children to hurt each other. They'll continue to do it long after DD2 moves out. I can already envision future threads of Ivory's being about her husband refusing to pay for DD2's college as a punishment. It doesn't matter how old the kids get or where they live, they will always remain pawns in the marriage.
Yeah … I see your point. Although I think it is highly likely that one or both of the girls will hold their parents at arms length once they become financially independent.
It hasn't sailed in the marriage. They're still using her as a pawn in their relationship, and they will continue to do so. For example, Ivory didn't want DD1 to have a car, and herhusband handed DD1 the car keys. They can't agree on anything. They undermine each other. They use the children to hurt each other. They'll continue to do it long after DD2 moves out. I can already envision future threads of Ivory's being about her husband refusing to pay for DD2's college as a punishment. It doesn't matter how old the kids get or where they live, they will always remain pawns in the marriage.
I thought that both Ivory and her husband agreed that DD#1 couldn't have the car if she moved out.
And, that DD#1 was "coming over tonight pick it up". I wonder what happened.
Yeah … I see your point. Although I think it is highly likely that one or both of the girls will hold their parents at arms length once they become financially independent.
Additionally, due to their parent's pitting one against the other, they won't even have the benefit of a healthy sibling relationship with each other. Their parent's selfish needs to be right at the expense of the other, took precedent over providing a healthy home for their children.
I thought that both Ivory and her husband agreed that DD#1 couldn't have the car if she moved out.
And, that DD#1 was "coming over tonight pick it up". I wonder what happened.
It's obvious he changed his mind against Ivory's objections.
OP - I hope you take to heart some of the comments about being in denial about this situation. She's 15. I cannot fathom a 15 year old running around to "parties" where there is even a chance alcohol is being served.
I come to this website occasionally when I am surfing during down time. In the close to 5 years I've been registered here I think I've posted less than 50 times. It shows on your posting ID that you have been a member for just a few months longer than me and have made around 19,000 posts. That's a HUGE amount of time in your life if you are a working mom of 2. (that's an average of 10 posts a day, EVERY SINGLE DAY for the past 5 years, FYI) Please step back from the computer and spend some time with your family working this out.
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