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So how come it's so hard on parents when the empty nest hits them?
The saddest time is when you actually get to be like those childless people. Suddenly the house looks so empty and you wish it could always be like it was when the kids were little.
Actually, many of us disagree with that. Sure, it's a big change at first. But after a short time, it's the new normal. One day, at the office, a mom was walking, almost dragging a crying child back to the exam room. One of my co-workers, who has high school age kids said, "I don't miss that stuff". Several of us agreed. I'm happy to not have to plan my life around the school schedule, etc. Mind you, I loved, loved parenting when I did it.
I may have grandchildren from my oldest kids by then. I can continue my volunteering at animal shelters, neonatal wards, or even with nursing home patients. There are always people or animals who need loving care. By then I may have gotten it out of my system.
I'll stick with my dogs. They are a responsibilty but they grow up and you don't have to dress them or put up with much foolishness - unless you have bull terrier like I do.
Actually, many of us disagree with that. Sure, it's a big change at first. But after a short time, it's the new normal. One day, at the office, a mom was walking, almost dragging a crying child back to the exam room. One of my co-workers, who has high school age kids said, "I don't miss that stuff". Several of us agreed. I'm happy to not have to plan my life around the school schedule, etc. Mind you, I loved, loved parenting when I did it.
I agree. My son is high school age, hopefully he'll be going off to college in a year. Don't get me wrong; I love my child, he is the light of my life, but right now I'm trying to decide how to turn his room into an office/bedroom once he leaves.
I don't have to plan around his schedule, I can finally start to date again after 17 years, travel a little more. While I'm a little sad that he's growing up and becoming more independent, I'm also excited about both of our futures - him going to college and beginning his adult life and me getting my social life back and trying new things.
I have a friend who is over 40 also and childless but wants to have kids. She keeps trying to convince ME that I still want to have kids. No ma'am. I'm good.
I absolutely loved being a Dad and raising my two Sons, but as you get older you don't have the same tolerance or energy. A guy at work is raising his Grand Daughter because his Son was unfit to do it, and I say God Bless him, at his age it must be much harder than when he was younger.
While I'm a little sad that he's growing up and becoming more independent, I'm also excited about both of our futures - him going to college and beginning his adult life and me getting my social life back and trying new things.
Mine is in grad school now, and when he comes home to visit, it's like having a friend over.
The fact that you feel the way you do means you did your job well preparing him to face the world on his own, and will survive fine once he's gone - with an occasional wistful pang!
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