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Really?
I come from a town with a very big reputation for materialism and superficiality. How you look and what you drive. Student section of high school parking lot much nicer than the teachers'...bmw to corvette to whatever. Because of the area and because of the dress code for the public school system, people came to school looking put together.
But I never saw my guy friends acting like they cared about their clothes or shoes or whatever. Nor did I see my little brother bother with that stuff. Maybe it's because all these guys were really smart and they had their niche where they had nothing to prove - honors courses, athletics, and ROTC.
Maybe it's the people who don't fit in anywhere and aren't comfortable with who they are. Maybe if you have something that is yours and you are secure in your abilities and accomplishments, you don't need stupid stuff like shoes.
I have a feeling this extends to adults, too... hmmmmm...
My very accomplished sons, both academically and athletically, were/are into the same thing MacieM pointed out. Just because guys don't talk about it, doesn't mean they aren't aware of fashion trends, and follow them.
The boys don't even like the same brands. One is all about high end labels, another tends towards his college logo wear, and the third is more the LL Bean type. They each have their unique style.
They all spend too much money( IMO) on sneakers, sunglasses, and car stuff. But yes, they don't talk about it, they just do it.
My very accomplished sons, both academically and athletically, were/are into the same thing MacieM pointed out. Just because guys don't talk about it, doesn't mean they aren't aware of fashion trends, and follow them.
The boys don't even like the same brands. One is all about high end labels, another tends towards his college logo wear, and the third is more the LL Bean type. They each have their unique style.
They all spend too much money( IMO) on sneakers, sunglasses, and car stuff. But yes, they don't talk about it, they just do it.
I am not sure how wearing a college logo is following a trend.
Maybe this is more of what is going on now or something...I went to high school in the 1990s.
It seemed like only the peacocks of the school (I think I am the popular jock - in reality, the school was so big that no one knew who the 'popular crowd' really was) and the "I don't seem to fit in anywhere" kids were super into this.
And whether or not they talked about it, I would have seen them wearing the stuff, etc.
Like the girls did (whether or not they talked about it). The girls were much more vocal and demonstrative.
I don't like it. I don't like this behavior in kids or adults. And I'll do everything I can to discourage this behavior in my kids. They should wear what they like. Not what's cool to wear. If the two coincide, so be it, but I'm not easy to fool with b.s. as my job is pretty much to be a human b.s. detector.
I try hard for my kids to walk in their own footsteps and not follow what their peers are wearing/doing. It isn't that I want them to be unique as an individual but to wear or like something because they like it and not because it's the trend. At the same time, I don't want them to feel awkward/teased for not wearing the style either. Kids are so cruel sometimes. It's a hard balance and fine line to walk.
I can understand what you're saying, MTT, but you have to remember that K12 is a very short time and the "popular crowd" (or whatever it is called these days) doesn't become any more successful than the other kids and often they spiral downward after senior year. (the "popular" crowd from my senior class now mostly consists of college dropouts, alcoholics, and drug addicts. Guess their "popularity" didn't work out for any of them.)
At the end of school, colleges, employers, etc. aren't going to care who hung out with the cool crowd, who was the prom royalty...And chances are that most of the people in your kid's class will forget eachother after they go their separate ways. Trying to fit into the "cool crowd" is a waste of time.
Yes middle school/high school kids are cruel and like to ostracize kids, but buying material goods to fit in will not help anything. Why would anyone trust a person who would say to your kid "You have to buy clothes from X and get us Y to sit with us" sounds like a manipulating scheme to play your kid for a fool.
At the end of the day, we may advise kids that "popularity" and material goods are nonsensical numbers for "fitting in" but this is what they follow because if they stand out, we all know how that ends. Most kids wise up and realize that you can't get along with everyone and you don't "fit in" wherever you go as they grow up. It's really a lesson that is self-learned.
My very accomplished sons, both academically and athletically, were/are into the same thing MacieM pointed out. Just because guys don't talk about it, doesn't mean they aren't aware of fashion trends, and follow them.
The boys don't even like the same brands. One is all about high end labels, another tends towards his college logo wear, and the third is more the LL Bean type. They each have their unique style.
They all spend too much money( IMO) on sneakers, sunglasses, and car stuff. But yes, they don't talk about it, they just do it.
Yeah boys do care about what they wear. They are not like girls in the sense that they don't necessarily talk a whole lot about what they like but they do have their own sense of style.
But we are talking about following social trends and norms IN ORDER to fit in.
I don't care if people want to have their own style. That's fun and interesting. If they want to wear a plain shirt and pants every day, that's fine with me, too.
These people who respond their boys care about their clothes and want to have their own style are missing the point of the original question which refers to wearing what everyone else is wearing, worshiping the brands other people worship, etc. Not having your own style. Who on earth would be against that?
You won't get heat from me. I agree and just wondered though when do you draw the line. Especially when they are older.
When my girls were in middle and high school the trend was super short skirts and shorts, obscenely low cut, tight jeans, and thong underwear. What a nightmare! I refused to let my girls dress that way. I thought it was trashy. My husband and I drove them all over the place looking for appropriate clothes. The girls understood they weren't going to dress like that, but I also wasn't going to make them wear high-waisted "mom" jeans. We found ONE store that carried a happy medium, and the majority of their clothes came from that store for a few years. (For the record, my middle daughter loved wearing things like plaid pants, whimsical tshirts and flame high tops.) We had decency standards - no boobs, no butts - but other than that we were pretty OK with whatever they wanted to wear.
But we are talking about following social trends and norms IN ORDER to fit in.
I don't care if people want to have their own style. That's fun and interesting. If they want to wear a plain shirt and pants every day, that's fine with me, too.
These people who respond their boys care about their clothes and want to have their own style are missing the point of the original question which refers to wearing what everyone else is wearing, worshiping the brands other people worship, etc. Not having your own style. Who on earth would be against that?
I think you are taking it the wrong way - I don't believe anyone said anything about wearing things they don't like. ..... Adolescence is frequently the time when people discover their sense of style - they are figuring out what they do like. They notice what others are wearing or having or whatever and they use that as part of their discovery. I don't think anyone is encouraging blindly following or "worshipping" brand names to the extent that they are a fashion-slave (so to speak)....As parents, I think we do have a responsibility to guide them through that if need be. We all have reasons we believe certain things are worth more than others. Some of it is simply because we like how they look. We do follow trends - from the decorating palette in our homes to the type of heel on our shoes, to the width of ties and lapels. Now, if a child is having a difficult time navigating those waters, we help them. We allow them to make purchases we think are silly (with money of their own). In the end, they may feel it's totally worth it. Or they may regret it in short order. But isn't that exactly what they should be learning at this point? Some things are worth it and some aren't.
And if you don't think boys care about stuff, you've never been around one who just purchased a subwoofer. He doesn't just install it in his trunk and crank up the base to enjoy it by himself. He calls his buds so they too can admire his aquisition.
If boys don't care about their appearance how does one explain the existence of a men's department in A&F, Holister, AE, Aeropostal, etc, etc. that primarily caters to teens?
When I was a kid my parents never let me wear anything trendy. Probably because we didn't have much money. But still, I hated it. When my son is older, if he wants to wear something that's "in," I'm pretty sure I'll get it for him if I can. I suppose it will be hard if it's something I think is really stupid and awful, like the low-pants thing.
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