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I had an appointment with an attorney today. Didn't get very good news.
Well first of all, I discovered that he is eligible for parole in just five years. In five years, my dd will only be 12 years old...just around the same age of the children he abused.
BUT...this is the really effed up part, he is STILL entitled to parental rights and visitation! He didn't abuse HER, and as long as he can convince the court that he's no threat to her (which he can, he's a con artist) then he may be able to get visitation. Just like I was told years ago, this stupid state won't terminate any parent's rights unless the parent abuses THAT child, or the other parent marries and the new spouse adopts the child.
The lawyer said the best I can do is stipulate that he is required to go to sex offender counseling, the visits have to be supervised, a psychologist has to say it's okay for my dd, and basically set up a bunch of requirements that maybe he won't want to be bothered with. I don't WANT ANY visitation AT ALL, but was pretty much told too bad. He's got rights.
The lawyer was trying to get me to start filing motions today, which is stupid. Why give him a five year head start on planning his course of action, while he has access to free legal counsel and a free law library and everything else on his side, while I have to go broke paying retainer fees? I'm not going to do anything except plan to move away from this stupid state before his five years is up. That's about all I can do.
Just wanted to update and thank those who took the time out to offer advice. This situation sucks, but I'll get through it!
My dd's biological father has been incarcerated since she was less than 2 years old. She has no memory of him and he has never tried to contact her. Now, all of a sudden, she's nearly 7 years old and he started sending her letters and cards. I never gave them to her because, first of all, she doesn't know who he is and doesn't need the confusion. And I know that he is EXTREMELY manipulative, extremely charming, and he'll tell her everything she wants to hear, sell her some impossible dream, only to devastate her in the end. I honestly feel it's in her best interest NEVER to have contact with him. When she's an adult, of course it's her decision and out of my control. But while she is a child, I feel it's my job to protect her.
However, my fear is that someday she will resent the fact that I purposefully kept his letters from her, or that I kept her from getting to know him. Even though he's a monster, he's her father, and she may feel like she has the right to know who he is. I really wish he had stayed in the hole he crawled into and never come out, but now that he has, I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I am doing the right thing by not giving her his letters, but I'm not sure. What do you think?
I had an appointment with an attorney today. Didn't get very good news.
Well first of all, I discovered that he is eligible for parole in just five years. In five years, my dd will only be 12 years old...just around the same age of the children he abused.
BUT...this is the really effed up part, he is STILL entitled to parental rights and visitation! He didn't abuse HER, and as long as he can convince the court that he's no threat to her (which he can, he's a con artist) then he may be able to get visitation. Just like I was told years ago, this stupid state won't terminate any parent's rights unless the parent abuses THAT child, or the other parent marries and the new spouse adopts the child.
The lawyer said the best I can do is stipulate that he is required to go to sex offender counseling, the visits have to be supervised, a psychologist has to say it's okay for my dd, and basically set up a bunch of requirements that maybe he won't want to be bothered with. I don't WANT ANY visitation AT ALL, but was pretty much told too bad. He's got rights.
The lawyer was trying to get me to start filing motions today, which is stupid. Why give him a five year head start on planning his course of action, while he has access to free legal counsel and a free law library and everything else on his side, while I have to go broke paying retainer fees? I'm not going to do anything except plan to move away from this stupid state before his five years is up. That's about all I can do.
Just wanted to update and thank those who took the time out to offer advice. This situation sucks, but I'll get through it!
You could terminate his rights at this point most likely. You could also present the fact he is a molester to a judge as reason you don't think he should be allowed contact. I'm really surprised your lawyer said you had no options because you do. You might want to consider getting a different one.
I had an appointment with an attorney today. Didn't get very good news.
Well first of all, I discovered that he is eligible for parole in just five years. In five years, my dd will only be 12 years old...just around the same age of the children he abused.
BUT...this is the really effed up part, he is STILL entitled to parental rights and visitation! He didn't abuse HER, and as long as he can convince the court that he's no threat to her (which he can, he's a con artist) then he may be able to get visitation. Just like I was told years ago, this stupid state won't terminate any parent's rights unless the parent abuses THAT child, or the other parent marries and the new spouse adopts the child.
The lawyer said the best I can do is stipulate that he is required to go to sex offender counseling, the visits have to be supervised, a psychologist has to say it's okay for my dd, and basically set up a bunch of requirements that maybe he won't want to be bothered with. I don't WANT ANY visitation AT ALL, but was pretty much told too bad. He's got rights.
The lawyer was trying to get me to start filing motions today, which is stupid. Why give him a five year head start on planning his course of action, while he has access to free legal counsel and a free law library and everything else on his side, while I have to go broke paying retainer fees? I'm not going to do anything except plan to move away from this stupid state before his five years is up. That's about all I can do.
Just wanted to update and thank those who took the time out to offer advice. This situation sucks, but I'll get through it!
I don't blame you. I would run so far and so fast it isn't even funny. You have no one stopping you right now.
You could terminate his rights at this point most likely. You could also present the fact he is a molester to a judge as reason you don't think he should be allowed contact. I'm really surprised your lawyer said you had no options because you do. You might want to consider getting a different one.
This is now the second lawyer who's said the same thing. Certain crimes, like aggravated criminal sexual abuse/assault, could be grounds of him losing parental rights. But he was "only" convicted of one count of child pornography. He had a whole slew of other charges, but apparently he plea bargained and pled guilty to that one charge and they dropped the rest. I can present the fact that he is a molester, but he can also present the usual crap molesters tend to come up, such as "I am no longer a threat" and some stupid judge might buy it. I'm just not taking any chances.
I don't blame you. I would run so far and so fast it isn't even funny. You have no one stopping you right now.
Is he Megan's Law register able?
He is required to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. But being a sex offender doesn't take away his right to be a parent. It doesn't make any sense to me either, believe me.
I had an appointment with an attorney today. Didn't get very good news.
Well first of all, I discovered that he is eligible for parole in just five years. In five years, my dd will only be 12 years old...just around the same age of the children he abused.
BUT...this is the really effed up part, he is STILL entitled to parental rights and visitation! He didn't abuse HER, and as long as he can convince the court that he's no threat to her (which he can, he's a con artist) then he may be able to get visitation. Just like I was told years ago, this stupid state won't terminate any parent's rights unless the parent abuses THAT child, or the other parent marries and the new spouse adopts the child.
The lawyer said the best I can do is stipulate that he is required to go to sex offender counseling, the visits have to be supervised, a psychologist has to say it's okay for my dd, and basically set up a bunch of requirements that maybe he won't want to be bothered with. I don't WANT ANY visitation AT ALL, but was pretty much told too bad. He's got rights.
The lawyer was trying to get me to start filing motions today, which is stupid. Why give him a five year head start on planning his course of action, while he has access to free legal counsel and a free law library and everything else on his side, while I have to go broke paying retainer fees? I'm not going to do anything except plan to move away from this stupid state before his five years is up. That's about all I can do.
Just wanted to update and thank those who took the time out to offer advice. This situation sucks, but I'll get through it!
MOVE. Don't even look back. Good Luck!
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