Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I wouldn't just move. I'd disappear. If you don't change your identity, disappearing means new residence, new job (under the table), no bills in your name, no driver's license, nothing. You have to coordinate all of this to happen at the exact same time. You shouldn't move first and later look for a new job. He'll be tipped off when the mail is returned to sender. If you don't take measures to completely disappear and you simply move to the other side of the country, you'll be always looking over your shoulder worrying that he tracked you down. Your peace of mind will be more at rest if you're careful to not leave a trail. If there's not a man in your life, now would be a good time to find one because you can disappear easier that way.
I'm not going to do anything except plan to move away from this stupid state before his five years is up. That's about all I can do.
Move sooner than later. Pick a state that has laws that prevent him from being allowed to have visitation. Wherever your daughter lives and has residency is the state laws that will be followed for custody. I'd still do my best to disappear in that new state.
After he wrote to her a few times, I did write him back and told him that she would not be reading his letters any time soon, that she would be a grown woman before I allowed it. He wrote back and said that he would continue to write her then, and thanked me for saving the letters for her. .
Wow. That's manipulative. Which is probably how he got his victim(s).
He's going to have a lot of time to spin what he wants her to think. Were I you I'd read his letters to know what's in his brain and how he's thinking then burn them to ash. And I'd get a pit bull of an attorney and say, "Here's what the court has decided: how do I protect my child? What are MY rights?" Good luck. Don't play nice. He isn't. He's going to have a lot of years to think about what HE's going to do. Use that time to counteract it. He's in a place where he's going to learn how to push you, your buttons AND the system. Education is your friend. Be smarter than he is.
Last edited by DewDropInn; 06-24-2014 at 08:42 PM..
Anna you do whatever you need to do to keep you and your daughter safe. What. Ever. I'm sorry you are going through this. Stay strong. You are an awesome mom.
Move sooner than later. Pick a state that has laws that prevent him from being allowed to have visitation. Wherever your daughter lives and has residency is the state laws that will be followed for custody. I'd still do my best to disappear in that new state.
That's exactly my plan. If I become a legal resident of a state that can protect my dd, then I can terminate his rights under the laws of that state. But it will be difficult, if not impossible, to engage in legal matters and change my identity at the same time. And trying to establish a new identity and live off the grid just seems terribly overwhelming. It will be hard enough to have to uproot and start over away from family and friends. Seems like my best bet is to just fight under the laws of a different state...then he has no legal right to have anything to do with her even if he knows where she is, and I also have the legal right to prevent any contact or communication.
That's exactly my plan. If I become a legal resident of a state that can protect my dd, then I can terminate his rights under the laws of that state. But it will be difficult, if not impossible, to engage in legal matters and change my identity at the same time. And trying to establish a new identity and live off the grid just seems terribly overwhelming. It will be hard enough to have to uproot and start over away from family and friends. Seems like my best bet is to just fight under the laws of a different state...then he has no legal right to have anything to do with her even if he knows where she is, and I also have the legal right to prevent any contact or communication.
Move to the new state, terminate his rights under the laws of that state, THEN disappear. Do it all while he's still in prison.
Oh wow, I really really hope you can move to a State that prevents him visitation or allows you to terminate his parental rights, or then disappear like Hopes suggested.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
