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My son at 17 pulled into a parking barrier too fast and hit the oil pan on my treasured old Mercedes. He could tell it was leaking oil and was smart enough to not drive it home before calling me. Since he handled that part well and freely admitted he'd misjudged speed and distance, all he had to do was pay for the oil pan and he got a free lesson in mechanics. I supervised him replacing the pan. A hot, sticky messy job. He now loves working on cars, so it was a positive outcome.
I'm not sure who the dummy was in that deal. Him for bashing the curb or me for letting him drive my favorite car.
Stuff like this happens to everyone. I have accidentally caused minor damage to my dad's car (He was not happy), and my dad has done so to my car as well (I was not happy). However, we forgive each other for issues like this. Its part of the learning curve. Just make sure it does not happen again. Tell him to pitch in a percentage of the cost and he will remember to be careful the next time. Jeez, a 3 inch wide dent should not cost $1000 to replace. If your son or husband loves to work with cars (most men do), ask them to fix it for you.
You can get them at Walmart or any auto parts store, no need to order them and pay shipping
I got them for under $4 so not too bad. I sell online so have money to spend in my paypal. Sort of limited to using those funds as much as possible. Thanks again
My son at 17 pulled into a parking barrier too fast and hit the oil pan on my treasured old Mercedes. He could tell it was leaking oil and was smart enough to not drive it home before calling me. Since he handled that part well and freely admitted he'd misjudged speed and distance, all he had to do was pay for the oil pan and he got a free lesson in mechanics. I supervised him replacing the pan. A hot, sticky messy job. He now loves working on cars, so it was a positive outcome.
I'm not sure who the dummy was in that deal. Him for bashing the curb or me for letting him drive my favorite car.
That was handled perfectly! You have a great attitude with your son and the cost of an oil pan is far from a thousand dollars. As is the time to fix it....not much at all. My husband grew up poor so his Dad said he'd pay for half a vehicle if he wanted to help fix it. He's been fixing our cars ever since. Including buying them from an Auction yard, fixing and re-painting them. He sells some from time to time
One of my twins did something similar about 4 months after getting his license. I could tell it really bothered him much more than it bothered me. We didn't replace the bumper because it was a 6-inch scrape.
I don't know that you should punish him because it was an accident. If he had done something reckless, I could see some kind of consequences.
I absolutely don't think he should be punished for an accident. One that was low speed; involved minor damage and didn't involve speeding or drinking.
Inexperienced drivers are going to have accidents. Why do you think their insurance rates are so high?
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Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
With a young driver in the house it is likely to happen again. I wouldn't replace the bumper.
Nope. My son got into a minor fender bender in a parking lot (misjudged his distance too) and everyone I work with (insurance) advised me NOT to fix any cosmetic damage to his vehicle. Not at this point anyway.
That was 2 years ago and he's never had another one! Knock on wood.
One of my twins did something similar about 4 months after getting his license. I could tell it really bothered him much more than it bothered me. We didn't replace the bumper because it was a 6-inch scrape.
I don't know that you should punish him because it was an accident. If he had done something reckless, I could see some kind of consequences.
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Originally Posted by steelstress
He's not a really experienced driver, so you take a risk. It wasn't intentional. I don't know, it's only 3 inches... a warning would be fine. It's not like he ripped off the bumper. Or ask that he pay a portion if you insist on having it replaced.
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Originally Posted by maciesmom
I wouldn't punish him...it's called an "accident" for a reason. I would work out an arrangement with him for payment of at least part of the bumper or the deductible if you claim it on insurance. Taking responsibility for things, even when they are accidents, is part of driving and growing up.
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Originally Posted by Mainer61
It was an accident. Tell him to be more careful, use the mirrors, etc. Won't your car insurance pay for the damage?
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Originally Posted by DewDropInn
This. He's not all that experienced as a driver, had permission to use the car, he wasn't high and he wasn't drunk. It's a 3" ding and no one was hurt. These things happen to the best of drivers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by marie5v
I don't think you should make him pay at all. He's an inexperienced driver and you let him use your car. Your parking space is admittedly tight. It was an accident. Why make him feel worse about it? Also, don't you have insurance? If you don't have insurance on a car your kid drives, then that's totally your fault and you deserve to pay.
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Originally Posted by Ollie1946
Tell him he can NEVER run and errand for YOU again. That will show him.
Seriously, let it go. The next dent might well be yours. Sounds like your parking situation is dicey and you own that problem. Lesson learned for him. A cheap one it sounds like.
Yeah...I'm so glad I didn't have to do any thinking whatsoever in composing my reply here as ALL of the very kind, understanding and forgiving parents have illustrated so eloquently...it was an accident and we are all very sure that he feels bad enough as it is. Seriously, he sounds like a really "good kid" and he was not doing anything irresponsible which caused the accident with the concrete pole.
In life, judgement and common sense are derived from experience. He will learn and he will become a great driver...I promise you. Give him lots of XXX and OOO from me/us and a "be careful next time".
1. If your son shows responsibility, remorse, etc., let it go. I wouldn't be in a hurry to fix it Not only are more dings likely, it will be a reminder to him
2. Teach him how to park. Most new drivers start the turn too early. Heck, I even see that when driving, they turn too early when making simple left hand turns. It becomes harder to get the car square. Same thing when parking.
My son has had his license for about 10 months and has never had any tickets, never been pulled over, and has never been in involved in any accidents....until today. He went to Target to buy me some stuff, and returned home. In between the two parking spaces my husband and I own is a stone pillar. Today the parking space adjacent to mine had a minivan in it, making it a tight squeeze for parking. Unfortunately, my son turned too late and hit the pole. The car is fine, but has a 3-inch-wide dent and some small strips of paint were scratched off. I'm afraid I might have to replace the whole bumper for almost a grand..... Should I give him a warning this time, and make him pay in full for the next accident (hopefully there will NOT be another accident in the forseeable future!!), or make him pay me the sum it costs for the bumper? Thanks!
I would let it go myself -- in the big scheme of things, this isn't real important.
It can be a good lesson to him that will teach him how important it is to look around, he should be glad there wasn't a child playing there that he failed to see.
If the car is new, won't your insurance cover it?
Or if you leave the damage for him to see, it might keep reinforcing the need to be more careful.
He was driving not by choice but as a favor to you. He made a mistake that is typical of an inexperienced driver. You assumed the risk by sending him to run that errand. What exactly would you be punishing him for?
I really do not see where all this talk of punishment is coming from. I had to go back and read the OP because everyone keeps saying "no punishment," "it was an accident," he was doing you a favor," etc.
I do not think making him pay for the damage is punishment. It's what happens when you break something. If it were me I wouldn't fix the dent because I am sure there will be other dinks or scratches to come. But some people that would really bother them. So if she wants to fix it, I see no problem in having him pay for it, either partially or fully. Not because he did something so terrible, but because that is what you do when you break other people's things.
If it was his own car, and wanted it fixed should the OP be obligated to fix it since it was just an accident?
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Should I give him a warning this time, and make him pay in full for the next accident (hopefully there will NOT be another accident in the forseeable future!!), or make him pay me the sum it costs for the bumper? Thanks!
