How to deal with teen girl drama and cattiness (party, girls, daughter)
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Today my daughter was in tears because one of her long time BFFs ostracized her. I'm having a hard time explaining to her that even long time friends can up and leave you at the drop of a hat. I'm tired of all this 9th grade drama about who left who, who slept with who, whose having a party and who isn't invited....ugh! How should I deal with all this silliness?
I am not the person to go to about this because I was NOT the popular girl. I was the one in your girl's shoes. I grew a thicker skin (not too thick, I can still get hurt by nasty or rude comments) and learned that I am the only one I can count on. I had to learn that it's OK to accept someone's kindness, but to know, in the end, it's me who will always be there for my needs. Having the girlie cattiness in my school taught me a lot about myself. I am definitely not perfect, but I got by knowing that I don't need my friends if it came down to it. I loved my friends. Those that stuck by me, but I never allowed myself to fully count on them because of the way girls can change their moods so quickly. Girls thrive on reputation and fads. Those two things change, so with the girls that follow them. Your girls needs to learn what she likes for herself and not only stick to that, but to like it enough to follow that with or without her friends. They don't all have to like the same stuff to be friends. That's something girls at that age have trouble with. If she is the first to learn that, her friends will eventually follow that. Confidence rules. Girls are attracted to confident girls.
It sounds like right now you have a daughter who is comfortable sharing the details of her days, why she's upset, why she's happy, etc. A kid who talks to you is a lot better than one who just says you wouldn't get it and won't tell you anything.
Tell her you're sorry that happened, tell her girls can be very mean sometimes, tell her whatever will comfort her...just don't tell her you don't care and you're tired of hearing about it.
It sounds like right now you have a daughter who is comfortable sharing the details of her days, why she's upset, why she's happy, etc. A kid who talks to you is a lot better than one who just says you wouldn't get it and won't tell you anything.
Tell her you're sorry that happened, tell her girls can be very mean sometimes, tell her whatever will comfort her...just don't tell her you don't care and you're tired of hearing about it.
I have not told her that, of course, I do care. However it is really tiring, to even me as a mom (poor hubby would probably get a headache listening to her rant.). Another one of my huge pet peeves is when my daughter has an all-out falling out with a friend, then gets back together the next day, then falls out again a few weeks later.....and the cycle continues on. and. on. And how ever since her good-natured boyfriend left her, she has been going after "bad boys" and the like...Another thring that grinds my gears...
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