Should my daughter visit her mother in jail? Am I handling the situation right? (support, parents)
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At 14 years old your daughter should know the truth. Her mother made some mistakes and needs to suffer the consequences. I would leave it up to your daughter about whether she wants to visit or not. If she does want to visit I would try to find out as much about the experience as you can and prepare her in advance for the experience.
If she wants to visit her mother, let her visit. Go the first time alone so you can prepare her for what to experience. I wouldn't take her weekly. No more than once a month since you said you wanted to ensure the whole family doesn't feel they all went to prison. Be prepared for her not wanting to go back after the first time.
I have a friend whose father "went away" when he was little. His whole family told him his Dad "Went to college". It was only until when he was a teenager he found out where his Dad actually was
I agree, if she's 14 she ought to be able to make her own decisions.
I would NOT lie to a 14 year old about where her mother is. 14 is old enough to be told the truth. I would absolutely take her to visit her mother. If she decides not to make a return visit that would be her choice.
YOU need to take your daughter there....man up and be a father... her mothers in jail for christs sake,,
dont let her go alone,,,, YOU need to take her,,, You will be her security when visiting,,
"Scared straight" just means to scare them by seeing what would happen if they choose a life of crime. If your daughter sees how being locked up is a horrible experience, she'll do all she can to be a good person. I think kids who drink and drive should have to visit the morgue.
Scared Straight is actually a program for troubled teens (and it is not a very good one, imo)
The original "Scared Straight" program, in which a group of adult prison inmates attempted to terrify a group of teen offenders into "going straight," was the focus of a television special in 1978. Since then, the authors of "'Scared Straight' and other juvenile awareness programs for preventing juvenile delinquency (Review)," a 2002 meta-analysis of relevant research on nine such programs, found that "not only does it fail to deter crime, but it actually leads to more offending behavior."
I would NOT lie to a 14 year old about where her mother is. 14 is old enough to be told the truth. I would absolutely take her to visit her mother. If she decides not to make a return visit that would be her choice.
Hope your wife has learned her lesson. Good luck.
I did not lie. I already told her. Though I have heard from some that say I should have made up a story and not told her
remember, it is simply due to the fact that it is a jail. Should my daughter be exposed to that? Potentially seeing other inmates there and also even guards who come off as intimidating? Both of them could still talk on the phone. Also, I think people missed that my wife has not gone yet. She will be going in to the facility soon. We have time to prepare and do things.
Keep in mind, if she been sentenced to 6 months, she will most likely be out in 2-3 month, with good behavior.
How far is the Jail from where you live? Local/County, State, Federal?
Phone call all are collect, and cost $1 or more per minute.
Visitation area are generally right next to the visitor entrance, and are talking cross plexeglass on phones. They won't let her in alone you would have to take her, Minor would not be permitted in to the visitation area alone, they may have minimum age also.
Since your wife's crime was not violent, is it possible that she might be sent to a "white collar" prison to do her time? Such places are considerably less "scary" than those which house violent or repeat criminals - one just outside my home town resembles a college campus.
Before taking your daughter to visit her mother, find out what to expect in advance, and let those in charge of arranging visits know that your daughter is 14 and will be visiting her mother for the first time in these surroundings. Let your daughter know as much as you can about her mother's new circumstances and environment ahead of time, to lessen the shock and potentially unpleasant surprises.
Good luck to you and your family, especially your daughter.
...and let those in charge of arranging visits know that your daughter is 14 and will be visiting her mother for the first time in these surroundings.
I doubt they'll give a damn.
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