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Your wife with such a short sentence will probably be in a county jail.
There really won't be any exposing her to a jail. Visits take place in a visit area not in a housing unit area. No worries there. Take her. She will be ok and maintaining contact will be important for both of them.
The officers should be just fine with you guys. You're the family and I know from experience, most treat families very respectfully and if you return the respect, your experience with the officers should be very positive.
It does seem as though the family also does the time in some instances. Don't do the time with her. She will need to work out her own injustices while locked up, real or perceived. Obviously if she is being abused, you absolutely step in with phone calls to everyone until she is helped. Nothing is sadder than hearing the family members taking on the time of the inmates. You still have to maintain at home and she needs to do the time inside.
It really is another world inside. For your wife, the key will be to accept is as her world temporarily
We have taken a look at the jail website. It is definitely does not look like a prison that houses murderers or other violent criminals. Though nothing like a college campus. It is about 30 minutes away.
we are doing some research to see what things my wife should do to prepare. I hope that is not a bad or enabling thing to do. Also, I am wondering how me and my daughter should prepare for her upcoming absence
daughter will also definitely seem interested in what will go on and how her mother will be living there.
We have taken a look at the jail website. It is definitely does not look like a prison that houses murderers or other violent criminals. Though nothing like a college campus. It is about 30 minutes away.
we are doing some research to see what things my wife should do to prepare. I hope that is not a bad or enabling thing to do. Also, I am wondering how me and my daughter should prepare for her upcoming absence
daughter will also definitely seem interested in what will go on and how her mother will be living there.
Of course thats not a bad thing, and enabling shouldn't be considered a bad thing when you think about what it actually means. Helping your wife acquire the ability to prepare for and hopefully cope in jail is absolutely the right thing to do. Her punishment is spending her time in jail, no need to add to the punishment by not supporting her.
Ordinarily I would say let her visit. But when you said the daughter may find police officers intimidating I wonder if she should. How will she handle being searched? I don't think I would want my kid to see me that way. It is only a few months. Maybe phone calls may be better. You know your daughter, we don't.
If you google this, you'll find threads where an overwhelming majority say no. They are all parents whose counterparts are in prison. I can only assume their convicted partners are there for violent crimes because they hold a very low opinion of the imprisoned, say they aren't roll models and they lost all rights to see their children. The OP's situation is different (non violent crime, short prison sentence), and he should be careful not to make decisions based on what other prison families say.
From the very beginning you should be honest with your daughter about this. She will certainly hear about it from others. I think it would be good for the daughter and wife both to allow visits if both are willing.
remember, it is simply due to the fact that it is a jail. Should my daughter be exposed to that? Potentially seeing other inmates there and also even guards who come off as intimidating?
I think you're overthinking this at some level. I think your wife going to jail -- and the daughter seeing here there -- could be a good lesson to learn. Your wife is going to jail as a consequence for something that she did. If your daughter sees other inmates or guards as intimidating, so be it. Maybe she needs to see this.
What I wonder about is if at some point your daughter will use this against her mother in a snarky way. As in, "You can't tell me what to do. What do you know? You went to jail!"
If you google this, you'll find threads where an overwhelming majority say no. They are all parents whose counterparts are in prison. I can only assume their convicted partners are there for violent crimes because they hold a very low opinion of the imprisoned, say they aren't roll models and they lost all rights to see their children. The OP's situation is different (non violent crime, short prison sentence), and he should be careful not to make decisions based on what other prison families say.
Excellent post, Hopes.
There is a HUGE difference between someone in jail/prison for a white collar crime and someone in for 20 years for rape or murder (or both). Of course, they both did things that were wrong and needed to pay the consequences but the situations are so far apart.
Did you know that a recent Miss America's father was in prison for a white collar crime? It was part of her platform (helping children whose parents are in prison).
What I wonder about is if at some point your daughter will use this against her mother in a snarky way. As in, "You can't tell me what to do. What do you know? You went to jail!"
Whether she visits mom in jail or not.. she is a teen . THIS will come up!!
Whether she visits mom in jail or not.. she is a teen . THIS will come up!!
True. I suppose I was trying to get the OP to wade into that thought slowly!
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I think it would be good for the daughter and wife both to allow visits if both are willing.
she is a teen . THIS will come up!!
