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That is about $7.5-8K a year, many school districts offer FSA which combined with the $3000 credit make the price much more manageable.
That still brings her income down to 40k at best.
One other concern I would have is what happen when the friend gets married? Will his wife be alright with this or will your arraignment be done in? Get all support in a legal document.
Obviously you have NEVER been a teacher. I quit teaching when I got pregnant because it was so completely incompatible with being a parent of a small child. I worked 55-over 70 hours a week, and the job always demanded more. I had to teach after school classes, sponsor clubs, tutor students, attend meetings, etc., until 5pm minimum every single night, and if I left at 5 then it was considered "early." I also taught most summers (which was less than 2 months and was usually mostly taken up with some required continuing education anyway). Maybe it's ok when kids are school-aged - I don't know - but certainly not when they are very young. We didn't have a single full time teacher who had a child under 5, and for good reason. Parenting is not a "chore" - it's a full-time job.
I am not sure when this happened to you but I am a teacher in NJ and of the 30 teachers in my school and 8 of that 30 are mothers with children and 5 have children under the age of 5. Two, one of which is my bestfriend, are pregnant right now.
We are lucky to have an affordable daycare center literally across the street.
That being said the nature of being a teacher is that you can take lots of the work home with you. My best friend comes in right when the bell rings (8am), and usually leaves by 4. Maybe it is a school climate thing, but those of us with older kids, will step in and take over clubs, or other out of school hour activities for the ones with little kids.
Additionally, the OP is in NJ. PD has changed recently and the 20 hours for most districts occurs during staff days or online now, so summer is no longer eaten up with PD requirements. I was a researcher and grad student for large chunks of time when my daughter and sister were under 5. That was certainly less parent friendly than teaching.
If the OP is in a district more like the one you describe, maybe she should consider a switch to a more family friendly district before she has a child.
Oh yeah! Diapers can run $40 a box. A little can of formula can be $20. Clothes may not seem expensive, but when one has a baby who is constantly growing, I imagine it can probably get that way.
One other concern I would have is what happen when the friend gets married? Will his wife be alright with this or will your arraignment be done in? Get all support in a legal document.
Do married people wonder what will happen when they get divorced? Is that part of their parenting plan? Do they sign legal documents discussing support after they get divorced?
With a divorce rate of over 40% (higher in her age group) being married is no more of a guarantee that people will stick around than being friends.
Her options for support if things don't work out are no different if they were married. She would go to court and get an order of support. His married status would make no difference the same way it wouldn't if they were divorced. In NJ, when you sign the BC, they make unmarried fathers sign an affidavit saying they are the bio dad.
Well, yes, they would have an after tax credit cost of about $4k which she has said would be covered by the two of them. So it would be about $43k. Ok. So what? I get it, upper middle class families think that no one not upper middle class has any business having a child. But $43K a year, with child costs split with the father would not even knock her out of middle class. Even in NJ. Sure it is easier with more money but its not like she is dooming her child to a life panhandling while wearing rags and eating out of the garbage.
Do married people wonder what will happen when they get divorced? Is that part of their parenting plan? Do they sign legal documents discussing support after they get divorced?
With a divorce rate of over 40% (higher in her age group) being married is no more of a guarantee that people will stick around than being friends.
Her options for support if things don't work out are no different if they were married. She would go to court and get an order of support. His married status would make no difference the same way it wouldn't if they were divorced. In NJ, when you sign the BC, they make unmarried fathers sign an affidavit saying they are the bio dad.
Well, yes, they would have an after tax credit cost of about $4k which she has said would be covered by the two of them. So it would be about $43k. Ok. So what? I get it, upper middle class families think that no one not upper middle class has any business having a child. But $43K a year, with child costs split with the father would not even knock her out of middle class. Even in NJ. Sure it is easier with more money but its not like she is dooming her child to a life panhandling while wearing rags and eating out of the garbage.
No because there will be a divorce to handle that. I've had friends who have struggled when good relationships between them and the baby's father sour. With no legal documents they are left fighting for everything.
Oh yeah! Diapers can run $40 a box. A little can of formula can be $20. Clothes may not seem expensive, but when one has a baby who is constantly growing, I imagine it can probably get that way.
So where is the line?
If this professional, adult woman, is being told she should not be allowed to have a child because she only makes $45K what is the magic number that is acceptable?
Median household income in this country is only about $53K. That means that more than half of household and corresponding families get by on less than she makes alone. Are all of those families getting by on her salary or less, suddenly bad parents too?
OP... I think it would be a great idea to figure out your weekly/monthly expenses to do it alone. Don't count on his.
Go to the store and write down the prices for basic baby stuff... diapers, formula (in case you don't/can't breastfeed), bottles and other stuff for feeding. Baby food (how much will you go through per day for the 1st year?), solid and liquids. Toiletries including lotions, shampoo, powder, wipes, baby oil, etc. How often will you need to replace these? Toys!
Then think of baby clothing. Will you buy only new? How long before baby outgrows clothing? How often will you have to buy?
Now, think bedding (minus furniture). Blankets, sheets, and other crib/playpen bedding.
Seasonal clothing... hats, sweaters, mittens, jackets, etc.
Research the cost of daycare for the months you'll be working.
Will you be adjusting your payroll exemptions once the child is here? How much will health insurance cost you if your employer doesn't pay it all? Will you need additional life insurance for yourself in case something happens to you?
Will you need to cut corners, follow a strict budget? If so, how? I say wait for at least a year and make this a project in order to find out just how much you will need. Then you will have your answer.
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