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Old 01-14-2014, 09:50 AM
 
63 posts, read 150,387 times
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Hello! I'm trying to determine the best time to move our 2nd grade & 4th grade boys. We had originally thought after the school year so they would have the summer at the community pool and being outside playing in the neighborhood to make friends before the school year started.

But I believe there is another way to look at a mid-year move... while it is probably harder for the kids to adjust to a new program mid-year, is it easier to make friends IN school, IN class than before hand? Do new kids that come mid-year get more attention and other kids think it's 'cool' for new out of state students to come in? Or do they just ultimately feel like outsiders?

Wanted to see what others experiences were regarding this - did you move during summer or mid year and how did your kids (or specifically boys, because I do believe girls and boys adjust differently) do with the transition and making new friends. And a little more background - my boys are easy going, make friends easily but can also be shy in new environments and they are very excited about the move, not caring too much about leaving friendships behind, but looking for a new adventure.

I just want to make sure we weigh all the options/scenarios before we make any decisions. I ultimately want to do what is best for my boys and this transition for them. Thanks!!
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Old 01-14-2014, 10:16 AM
 
Location: Finland
6,423 posts, read 7,203,081 times
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I see pros and cons to both really. My family moved when I was 13 during the Easter holidays and I had a lot of trouble finding a school place as all the schools were full up whereas if we had waited til the summer there wouldn't have been the same problem. But on the other hand being the new kid during the school year made it really easy for me to make friends as everyone was interested in talking to me while a friend moved in the summer and started in a new school year and found it harder to make friends.
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Old 01-14-2014, 10:29 AM
 
Location: Texas
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I moved in June with a 4-year-old and a 7-year-old. They had a hard time making friends because there were no summer organized activities and where we live it was so hot that there weren't that many kids outside. The saving grace was a neighborhood block party in September, where they got to meet the other kids in the neighborhood and start making friends. The oldest made friends at school and enjoyed gymnastics and soccer in the fall. My youngest, a boy, had a HARD time making friends at preschool. He's just now got some close friends he wants to play with every day.

When I was in 4th grade and my sister was in 2nd, we moved to a different city in March. She made friends quickly. I didn't. By 4th grade, it felt like the kids were already in their cliques and it was more difficult for me to fit in during the middle of the school year. I think it would have been easier for me to make friends if we had started the school at the beginning of the year.

We waited until summer to move mostly because I was concerned with the effect on my daughter of switching schools mid-year...but now, in her new school the teacher quit just before Christmas to deal with personal issues, so she has a new teacher and new routine anyway.

We moved into a brand-new neighborhood, so there are a lot of "new kids". I think that makes it easier on everyone.
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Old 01-14-2014, 10:33 AM
 
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It's best to move right at the end of summer. That way they don't have too much down time in the summer with difficult access to making new friends, but they are able to start the new school on the first day like everyone else.
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Old 01-14-2014, 10:34 AM
 
Location: The analog world
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Our best move happened about 2-1/2 weeks before school started. It was just enough time for the kids to get oriented to our new home and neighborhood, but not so much time that they sat around bored for a lack of friends and things to do.
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Old 01-14-2014, 10:41 AM
 
2,779 posts, read 5,476,455 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by randomparent View Post
Our best move happened about 2-1/2 weeks before school started. It was just enough time for the kids to get oriented to our new home and neighborhood, but not so much time that they sat around bored for a lack of friends and things to do.
I agree that this something like this is probably the best plan. I moved in the middle of 6th grade and it was terrible, friendships were already formed, sports teams joined, and the new school had a different curriculum than my previous school, I was lost.

Now my family did move the summer before I started 2nd grade as well in June and I made a lot of friends in the neighborhood that summer but I lucked out, I could probably have wound up bored just as easily. I think 3-5wks before school starts would be best.
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Old 01-14-2014, 10:45 AM
 
Location: Back at home in western Washington!
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Moving during the summer is the best idea IMHO, if you make sure and spend the time to get the kids involved in activities. Allowing them to meet their peers and make friends before school starts is a good idea. Children that form groups in school are more apt to befriend a new kid during the summer when they are away from the cliche they have in school.
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Old 01-14-2014, 10:52 AM
 
5,413 posts, read 6,659,857 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BaltAMM View Post
Hello! I'm trying to determine the best time to move our 2nd grade & 4th grade boys. We had originally thought after the school year so they would have the summer at the community pool and being outside playing in the neighborhood to make friends before the school year started.

But I believe there is another way to look at a mid-year move... while it is probably harder for the kids to adjust to a new program mid-year, is it easier to make friends IN school, IN class than before hand? Do new kids that come mid-year get more attention and other kids think it's 'cool' for new out of state students to come in? Or do they just ultimately feel like outsiders?

Wanted to see what others experiences were regarding this - did you move during summer or mid year and how did your kids (or specifically boys, because I do believe girls and boys adjust differently) do with the transition and making new friends. And a little more background - my boys are easy going, make friends easily but can also be shy in new environments and they are very excited about the move, not caring too much about leaving friendships behind, but looking for a new adventure.

I just want to make sure we weigh all the options/scenarios before we make any decisions. I ultimately want to do what is best for my boys and this transition for them. Thanks!!
We moved in the middle of my daughter's 3rd grade year (at Christmas break)....and it was the best way to do it, I think.

I had been worried, but my daughter's ballet teacher (who I respected greatly) told me that she always found the kids did better when they could jump right into the routine of the new area rather than sit around with a possible attitude or anxiety all summer waiting for things to start in the fall.

There is no guarantee that they will be making school friends over the summer, by the way, My daughter was also very easy going and makes friends easily...but don't discount the stress on them. It can show up in unexpected ways if one just assumes that there will be no problems.
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Old 01-14-2014, 10:56 AM
 
2,612 posts, read 5,562,381 times
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There is a reason families move in summer and not mid-year. There are no benefits to a mid-year move, and a lot of negatives. First, if the child shows up on the first day of school, the teacher has prepared for him, has a desk and materials for him, is ready to help him and his classmates adjust with all kinds of ice breakers and beginning of year activities. Classroom policies and norms are explained and taught, and the focus is on making everyone comfortable. Many students will be new, so that won't be so much a problem. Academically, of course, the child gets the full curriculum from the beginning, all the appropriate assessments, and so on. This is the time of year designed for children to begin.

Mid-year, here is what happens when a child shows up: the teacher finds out a day or two before hand that they are getting a new student. Sometimes they find out when the child actually shows up. They don't have a desk or any materials for the child. They scramble to get things in order, while dealing with 25 other kids and trying to maintain a lesson at the same time, all the while under pressure not to miss a minute of the planned curriculum because of course, there will be a test. Most teachers let out a huge groan when a student shows up after the start of the year - once I actually brought a new student to a teacher's room and right in front of the student she looked at me and said "you have got to be kidding. Can't you put him somewhere else?" Teachers HATE when a kid shows up mid-year, even if they manage to smile and seem welcoming.

Then, naturally, the teacher has no time to help the student adjust. She can't be bothered with worrying about him making friends or not - really there is no time. A good teacher has procedures in place, but a new teacher or less organized teacher will not. It's a crap shoot if he will get any kind of assistance fitting in or not. Frankly, in some schools you'll be lucky if he even gets his own desk and chair before the end of the day. And of course, he has no materials, so the he might need to look on with someone else.

Academically, he has no idea what's going on, the teacher has no idea what he can or can't do (he missed the beginning assessments), no idea of his level. Academically, a school switch mid year can be like losing a half or even whole year. It's disastrous for a weak student, inconvenient for the strongest.

A mid-year move is a very very bad idea. If you can possibly avoid it, then do.
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Old 01-14-2014, 11:24 AM
 
13,975 posts, read 25,818,052 times
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I've had experience doing it both ways. We tried to complete all three moves over the summer months, but still only managed to get the kids enrolled by the beginning of the school year the last time. In the first case, our new house wasn't ready, and the closest hotel was 30+ miles away. The 2nd time we were put up in corporate housing while we looked for a home, and the local school wouldn't let us enroll until we had a permanent address in our own name.

It seemed the transition into a new school went better when school had already started. All three kids were assigned a buddy to help them acclimate the first week. The summer weeks in a new location, without knowing anyone, seemed interminable, to them and me.
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