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I have a seven year old stepdaughter who has issues with having "accidents" in her underwear. Obviously, it's because she doesn't want to take any of that precious playing time and put it towards going to the restroom as she should.
Is it really that obvious?
If so, you should know how to handle it!
Another suggestion: put her on a gluten free diet for a couple of weeks. If she is gluten intolerant, she doesn't have any control over disturbed intestines. Physicians are amazingly remiss at diagnosing Celiac Disease. They will miss it many more times then they will realize that is what the problem is.
If she is gluten intolerant, she is being poisoned, it disrupts the brain functions, and it will cause behavior problems
Also seconding the advice for a full medical check-up.
Medical advice on the internet never ceases to amaze me. You don't know the child. You don't know the reason she's doing this. Yet you feel comfy telling someone you don't even know to give his daughter the ADULT dose of a medicine the child may not even need. And which could make the problem worse.
Bingo.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick
Is it really that obvious?
Yeah...I was wondering why that was "obvious" as well...
I had similar problems at that age (both #1 and #2). I strongly agree with others who say to take your child to a doctor for a medical evaluation. Talk about your concerns and let her talk about hers. Does she have a medical history of other ongoing problems, including those that may not seem to have anything to do with bowel movements? Does she take medications?
You might think she's "doing it for attention" but it could be she's doing it because of attention. She might feel embarrassed or pressured with the constant questions and observation of her toileting habits and she might want to pretend everything is "fine" before, of course, it is not so fine. The girl has probably already noticed that her problem is not normal and the other kids aren't going through what she's going through. If you are in the bathroom literally watching her while she's on the toilet, stop doing that. Instead tell her to go (or if she goes on her own, even better) and close the door. Give her time and only check up on her if she's been in there really long. If you keep asking her she might just give you answers you want to hear and not truly take care of business. Let her relax. Tell her to tell you when she's gone, take a glance on it before she flushes.
Another thing: make sure the facilities at home are useable for her. I was little for my age so this was an issue. A stool for under her feet can help a lot while she's going, and also for positioning herself on the seat if it is too big for her. Maybe even handle bars or something to hold on to can help too.
See her pediatrician. Pronto. Stat. Quickly. Unless a doctor has done a thorough study and TOLD you that she is doing it because she doesn't want to spend play time, then YOU DON"T KNOW. She deserves a professional diagnosis and help.
Last edited by Jaded; 01-20-2014 at 11:54 PM..
Reason: language use
I'm sure she'll change once she gets old enough for it to become a social handicap, all she needs is a few harsh words from her peers, and if she doesn't, then she's got bigger problems.
Last edited by Jaded; 01-20-2014 at 11:56 PM..
Reason: language use
I suppose I should have included that we have gone to the pediatrician, on numerous occasions and that it was our first choice of action. Not only a pediatrician, but the local children's hospital, which is usually ranked one of the tops in the country. You'd think if we went as far as a psychiatrist, we would have seen a doctor, but I suppose that's my fault for not including it. Sorry. Also, just for note, I am not asking for actual medical advice. Obviously, I'm not going to take medical advice from random people on the internet. I'm asking for advice based on other people's instances of the same issue and what possibly worked for them.
Her digestive systems are fine. She also knows when she needs to use the restroom. She just holds it as long as she can until her body just forces it out of her. We give her Miralax to help against compaction. She just (usually) does not use the restroom if she's engaged in other activities, even if her body tells her to. She can use the restroom fine, as she does use it sporadically. It's probably a 75-25% rate, give or take. Actually, sometimes she'll go on a streak of a few days of regularly going to the restroom, then end up doing it again on a regular basis.
We have talked to her about it and she acts like she understands and says she'll use the bathroom more, then poops in her underwear anyway. I should also note that it's really neither diarrhea or constipation type poop; it's normal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
You took her to multiple psychiatrists? Did they prescribe something for her? Why a psychiatrist??
Based on your other posts about her, she has multiple behavior issues.
You are a blended family. There are many reasons she could be acting this way, but it sounds like you three need to get on the same page as a family, especially if you really plan to have a baby with your wife this year.
I would stop the humiliating threats, have her doctor evaluate her, and ask her doctor to refer you and your wife to a good family counselor who can teach you both some things about parenting - before a new baby gets here, ramps up your step-daughter's acting out, and you resort to your so-called "butt whoopins."
Uh, how do you base this on the maybe three posts I've made about my stepdaughter? You have no clue about us. What humiliating threats? To sit on the potty until she goes? If anything, we're trying to resolve the issue without her feeling humiliated, possibly by doing it at school. She has maturity issues, most likely due to living with her grandparents, along with her mother for the first five years of her life. When Mom didn't let her do something or made her do something for herself, she would get the grandparents to do it. So she's constantly been babied and had everything done for her up until she was nearly six. She's also highly defiant. These are issues we've been working on and they've been progressing perfectly fine. So perhaps you could keep the "you're a bad parent" comments to yourself. She has progressed more than you could imagine in the amount of time that we've been a true family.
Also, if you've actually read what I've posted before, I haven't ever whooped her and I've raised my voice to her twice in a year and a half. So, unless you have actual constructive input to the subject, it would be nice if you kept your opinion to yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom
Yeah...I was wondering why that was "obvious" as well...
Because she's been cleared of any medical issue and the psychiatrist didn't have any other explanations. So it pretty much boils down to when the "accident" usually happens and it's during the times that she's thoroughly engaged in some sort of activity. That's where the obviousness comes from.
Thanks to those who are sharing a constructive opinion. It seems that most of your issues have been linked to medical issues, which doesn't apply in this case.
Quote:
Originally Posted by el_marto
I'm sure she'll change once she gets old enough for it to become a social handicap, all she needs is a few harsh words from her peers, and if she doesn't, then she's got bigger problems.
Unfortunately, I think it may boil down to this. I hope it doesn't, though.
She has done it in school before, at recess, but I think she snuck out for a bathroom break and made a trip to the nurses without anyone noticing what actually happened.
Her digestive systems are fine. She also knows when she needs to use the restroom. She just holds it as long as she can until her body just forces it out of her. We give her Miralax to help against compaction. She just (usually) does not use the restroom if she's engaged in other activities, even if her body tells her to. She can use the restroom fine, as she does use it sporadically. It's probably a 75-25% rate, give or take. Actually, sometimes she'll go on a streak of a few days of regularly going to the restroom, then end up doing it again on a regular basis.
This describes exactly what leads to the medical issue I posted a link for at the start of the thread. Even if her bowel wasn't stretched when you first saw the doctor, that doesn't mean it hasn't since then. Furthermore, if you read the treatment page on the link I provided, you don't just give Miralax, but you also incorporate sitting on the toilet in part of her daily routine. You don't wait for her to decide when she needs to go. You make time for her to sit on the toilet after breakfast and dinner.
You're saying you don't want medical advice, and I'm not giving it via specific doses. But I do have experience with this via my goddaughter who I babysat ever morning before she went to school. What I'm sharing is what we did for her, and having her sit on the toilet every morning was part of what we did. We didn't just ask, "Do you need to go?" We didn't walk about it. We just gave the medicine mixed in a glass of water every day. After breakfast, she went into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. It wasn't a choice based on if she felt she needed to go. It was a routine, and that routine was repeated in the evening after dinner.
Your daughter most certainly could be having accidents without them being on purpose. You need to grasp exactly what happens to children's bodies when they hold it in. READ THE LINK I provided. And if you still don't seem to understand it, and still think she's being stubborn, I recommend you go back to the pediatrician so it can be explained to you better. This isn't something you see the doctor about once and not go back.
She hasn't been cleared of medical issues! The pediatrician and hospital diagnosed her as a child who has complications from constipation due to holding it in. Medical issues happen as a result. Those medical issues are her having accidents. Until this is completely resolved, you need to continue follow-up appointments with her pediatrician so her progress can be monitored.
This describes exactly what leads to the medical issue I posted a link for at the start of the thread. Even if her bowel wasn't stretched when you first saw the doctor, that doesn't mean it hasn't since then. Furthermore, if you read the treatment page on the link I provided, you don't just give Miralax, but you also incorporate sitting on the toilet in part of her daily routine. You don't wait for her to decide when she needs to go. You make time for her to sit on the toilet after breakfast and dinner.
You're saying you don't want medical advice, and I'm not giving it via specific doses. But I do have experience with this via my goddaughter who I babysat ever morning before she went to school. What I'm sharing is what we did for her, and having her sit on the toilet every morning was part of what we did. We didn't just ask, "Do you need to go?" We didn't walk about it. We just gave the medicine mixed in a glass of water every day. After breakfast, she went into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. It wasn't a choice based on if she felt she needed to go. It was a routine, and that routine was repeated in the evening after dinner.
Your daughter most certainly could be having accidents without them being on purpose. You need to grasp exactly what happens to children's bodies when they hold it in. READ THE LINK I provided. And if you still don't seem to understand it, and still think she's being stubborn, I recommend you go back to the pediatrician so it can be explained to you better. This isn't something you see the doctor about once and not go back.
She hasn't been cleared of medical issues! The pediatrician and hospital diagnosed her as a child who has complications from constipation due to holding it in. Medical issues happen as a result. Those medical issues are her having accidents. Until this is completely resolved, you need to continue follow-up appointments with her pediatrician so her progress can be monitored.
I suppose I shouldn't have said "holds it in until", rather than just goes whenever she has to, rather than stopping what she's doing and going to the toilet. I mean, she'll literally be sitting there watching a movie, jump up and say, "Mom, I just had an accident." Sometimes she won't and will just let it go until we notice it. I suppose I should also include when we get refusals to use the restroom, the response is because "it's boring."
Well, we've seen the doctor on multiple occasions. So you'd think by now that they would have found the issue if there were one, right? The doctor visits absolutely weren't a one time thing. I already stated that. We've also had multiple visits to Cincinnati Children's Hospital.
She doesn't have complications from constipation. She never complains of any symptoms that would normally come from a constipation/compaction issue. (she actually doesn't complain about anything digestive whatsoever) She just poops in her pants instead of a toilet. We use the Miralax as a precaution to her possibly causing compaction by doing this, but it hasn't really been a problem. This was an instruction from the doctors.
We have incorporated sitting on the toilet, quite often. Usually about 15-20 minutes after she eats, in the mornings, before bed. It had no lasting effect. I think she maybe went twice out of all the times we've had her sit on the toilet.
I'll ask the next person we see about encopresis, but you'd think a highly respected medical center like Cincinnati Children's would know about said issue. I'm just stumped, because there's no clear answer anywhere and we've gone through about anything you can imagine dealing with this.
You specifically said she holds it in as long as she can until her body forces it out of her. Now you're saying she just goes wherever she is anytime she needs to go. That doesn't jive with the doctor prescribing Miralax. There wouldn't be a risk of compaction if the doctor believes she is going regularly whenever she needs to go. The doctor prescribed Miralax because he believes she is holding it in. It seems you don't really understand what the doctors believe is happening.
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7-year old girl with toilet issues
