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I've known many whos parents have flat-out disowned them just because they didn't end up with a career/partner that their parents deemed "acceptable" just because they think they should be a mini-them in all manners of respect. It's really sad, and a GREAT disservice to their children. Do many parents not realize they have a mind of their own? That if children always did what their parents thought was "best" (when it usually isn't) we wouldn't have the wide range of different careers/jobs there are?
Such as parents who may be Drs thinking, because they are their child should as well. Why should it matter if they end up as factory workers? If they like the job and are happy shouldn't that be all that matters? I have always told my daughter I just want her to get a job that makes her happy and a man that makes her happy as well, who cares if she ends up with a Phd and making a 6 figure salary? If she wanted to be a rodeo clown I'd be just as happy!
I think most parents are well aware that children have a mind of their own by the age of 2. I also think that the offspring who are receiving a higher education on their parents' dollar, should have a clear idea of how they will optimize that opportunity, and accept the possible pitfalls as their own to deal with.
I've known many whos parents have flat-out disowned them just because they didn't end up with a career/partner that their parents deemed "acceptable" just because they think they should be a mini-them in all manners of respect. It's really sad, and a GREAT disservice to their children. Do many parents not realize they have a mind of their own? That if children always did what their parents thought was "best" (when it usually isn't) we wouldn't have the wide range of different careers/jobs there are?
Such as parents who may be Drs thinking, because they are their child should as well. Why should it matter if they end up as factory workers? If they like the job and are happy shouldn't that be all that matters? I have always told my daughter I just want her to get a job that makes her happy and a man that makes her happy as well, who cares if she ends up with a Phd and making a 6 figure salary? If she wanted to be a rodeo clown I'd be just as happy!
I can relate exceptionally.. you have immigrant parents as well?
I can relate exceptionally.. you have immigrant parents as well?
No, but I have heard of it being especially bad with immigrant parents. At least with immigrant parents I can kind of understand with them usually being quite poor, but I'm mainly talking about middle class type parents. Sorry if little johnny/jane doesn't bow down to your overbearing will but if you TRULY cared about their happiness it wouldn't matter what job they had/who they dated so long as it made them happy.
Though when I first went to college my mother did have high hopes of me going into nursing, and she gave me flack for it when I went into IT instead. Once she started giving me flack for it I told her "This is my choice, and if you want a relationship with your one and only daughter you better accept it". And I paid for college all myself.
So you are alright with a pimp or prostitute? I would think not. Sweeping generalities are gross exaggeration....
I agree with Mattie... parents KNOW children have a mind of their own, especially when the kid turns 2!
Oh c'mon that goes without saying, like your child becoming a career criminal does it really need to be said? I just hate parents that put their own selfish desires above their childrens happiness and put undue pressure on their child to become something they DON'T WANT to be.
No, but I have heard of it being especially bad with immigrant parents. At least with immigrant parents I can kind of understand with them usually being quite poor, but I'm mainly talking about middle class type parents. Sorry if little johnny/jane doesn't bow down to your overbearing will but if you TRULY cared about their happiness it wouldn't matter what job they had/who they dated so long as it made them happy.
Though when I first went to college my mother did have high hopes of me going into nursing, and she gave me flack for it when I went into IT instead. Once she started giving me flack for it I told her "This is my choice, and if you want a relationship with your one and only daughter you better accept it". And I paid for college all myself.
So Immigrants are poor so they should never expect or hope for a better life for their child?
They should expect the child to follow them in their poor lifestyle?
News Flash: NOT ALL Immigrants are POOR and NOT ALL natural born Americans are rich or middle class either. Some come here poor and stay that way, others come poor and work hard and get out of poverty, others are not poor when they get here.
The thing is that the above scenario is true for all humans who are Immigrants or American born or born in whatever country they are born in. Some start in poverty but do not remain there, others start middle class or rich and end up poor.
Oh c'mon that goes without saying, like your child becoming a career criminal does it really need to be said? I just hate parents that put their own selfish desires above their childrens happiness and put undue pressure on their child to become something they DON'T WANT to be.
Would these be YOUR parents we're talking about here?
So Immigrants are poor so they should never expect or hope for a better life for their child?
They should expect the child to follow them in their poor lifestyle?
News Flash: NOT ALL Immigrants are POOR and NOT ALL natural born Americans are rich or middle class either. Some come here poor and stay that way, others come poor and work hard and get out of poverty, others are not poor when they get here.
The thing is that the above scenario is true for all humans who are Immigrants or American born or born in whatever country they are born in. Some start in poverty but do not remain there, others start middle class or rich and end up poor.
Huh? Talk about putting words in my mouth! I never said any of those things. My ONLY complaint was parents whose children DO lead good productive lives but just because they aren't EXACTLY what they think their children should be are "disappointed".
No, but I have heard of it being especially bad with immigrant parents. At least with immigrant parents I can kind of understand with them usually being quite poor, but I'm mainly talking about middle class type parents. Sorry if little johnny/jane doesn't bow down to your overbearing will but if you TRULY cared about their happiness it wouldn't matter what job they had/who they dated so long as it made them happy.
Though when I first went to college my mother did have high hopes of me going into nursing, and she gave me flack for it when I went into IT instead. Once she started giving me flack for it I told her "This is my choice, and if you want a relationship with your one and only daughter you better accept it". And I paid for college all myself.
I basically listened to what my parents wanted well into adulthood, not necessarily because that was my intention from the beginning, but because I was met with fire every time I crossed a line. Then one day, I decided "the F--- with how they think I should live.. it's MY life and too bad if they aren't happy with what work I do, who I decide to date/marry, etc." and it's kinda hilarious if an outsider were to witness how parents finally realized how their 30yo son actually has a mind of his own..
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