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All this discussion about the TV programs is interesting (I guess) but this is not why she posted this thread.
She asked specific questions:
My questions are:
1. Is my husband being unreasonable with his intolerance of my brother's kids?
2. Is there a compromise solution to this problem?
3. I feel bad about this b/c I love my brother and I want to spend time with him but the way he is raising his kids is something I don't agree with and quite frankly I don't want my kids exposed to. What is appropriate here?
4. Is it appropriate for me to correct the rude and arrogant behavior of these kids when they come stay with us?
And she hasn't been back to clarify the questions many of us asked to better understand the situation.
How would the OP's daughter have been exposed to Rupaul's show if she's not allowed to watch TV or use the computer outside of school?
It appears when her cousins are there, they are allowed to determine what everyone watches on TV, and so the little girl watches it, too. At least, that is what I interpreted things to mean.
I was kind of confused with all that because if it had been me, in my home, no one else's children are going to determine what is or isn't watched on my TV, and if I felt that I had to allow my relatives to watch "their programs," that doesn't mean I would allow my own children to also sit there and watch it (if it ordinarily is something off limits). So I didn't really understand that part of OP's post.
It appears when her cousins are there, they are allowed to determine what everyone watches on TV, and so the little girl watches it, too. At least, that is what I interpreted things to mean.
I was kind of confused with all that because if it had been me, in my home, no one else's children are going to determine what is or isn't watched on my TV, and if I felt that I had to allow my relatives to watch "their programs," that doesn't mean I would allow my own children to also sit there and watch it (if it ordinarily is something off limits). So I didn't really understand that part of OP's post.
No, I think the 7 year old niece watches it somewhere else and then gives lessons on how to tuck.
No, I think the 7 year old niece watches it somewhere else and then gives lessons on how to tuck.
Well frankly, she could hear the same thing at recess, so if it were just a matter of kids talking, you just explain and move on. It's not a matter of rudeness, arrogance or inappropriate viewing going on in your own home. A non issue at that point as you will never have control over what someone else's children are talking about.
All this discussion about the TV programs is interesting (I guess) but this is not why she posted this thread.
She asked specific questions:
My questions are:
1. Is my husband being unreasonable with his intolerance of my brother's kids?
2. Is there a compromise solution to this problem?
3. I feel bad about this b/c I love my brother and I want to spend time with him but the way he is raising his kids is something I don't agree with and quite frankly I don't want my kids exposed to. What is appropriate here?
4. Is it appropriate for me to correct the rude and arrogant behavior of these kids when they come stay with us?
And she hasn't been back to clarify the questions many of us asked to better understand the situation.
1. Yes. Perhaps if he spent some time talking to the kids and trying to bring out some common interests, he would find that he enjoys them a bit more. My 10 year old nephew just won 1st place for designing an app for his computer class, so knowing what an app is at 7 is really not a bad thing. In fact, in today's world, you may be doing your daughter a disservice by not allowing her to explore technology outside of the classroom with reasonable guidelines.
2. Yes. I don't understand why there are any overnight stays or hotel rooms when you are only an hour apart. Meet for the day for a picnic at the park or some other kid-friendly activity. Keep the kids busy and engaged. If I lived an hour from any family member, I would be thrilled to make to the drive back and forth.
3. It is appropriate to raise your kids the way you see fit and to let your brother do the same. If you really don't want your kids exposed to them, just tell your brother there will be no more visits. If you don't want to sever the relationship, you can either discuss your concerns with your brother or talk to your own children ahead of time. If you don't want to talk to your brother, then you will have to take them as they are or end the visits. You can control what it watched in your home, and you can change the subject or remove your child if the kids are talking about something inappropriate, but you can't control what your brother allows in his own home.
4. Yes, but be prepared for your brother to correct the behavior of your children as well. Just make sure you are being realistic in your expectations. Perhaps the fact that you have sheltered your daughter means you are not as tolerant of the normal behavior of less sheltered children.
By the way, my child has been exposed to television, movies, computers, etc. her whole life and is not a rude or obnoxious teenager. She is a kind, thoughtful young lady with great critical thinking skills.
Last edited by raindrop101; 01-30-2014 at 10:04 AM..
The whole point is that some things perhaps are better left for older children or adults to experience and are, IMHO, not suitable and age-appropriate TV shows for a 7 years old to watch and then discuss with their younger cousin.
Last edited by Jaded; 01-30-2014 at 11:45 PM..
Reason: Removed deleted post
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