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No daycare, especially for babies and young toddlers. How can you trust leaving an infant with strangers, who can't tell you if there's anything fishy going on at the daycare center? Plus, to those daycare workers, your child is a number...and as long as they are quiet, they don't care all that much. If daycare can be avoided, by all costs don't do it! Thise are the most formative years of your kids' lives, why trust theit development, especially emotionally, to some low-wage daycare worker? Maybe its different if its a family member or someone close you can trust...but I still think its more beneficial for those years to be spent building a bond with your own child, rather than chasing the almighty $$$. If money is the issue, in most cases with the high cost of daycare, its just as financially advantageous to have one parent work full-time during the day and have the other parent pick up a part-time job for evenings/weekends. Plus, it just so mcuh better for your child's health and development, both emotionally and physically.
Most schools have Pre-K programs for getting kids socialized and playing/interacting with other kids. Our public schools have a 3-year-old program, where they go for a half-day 3 days per week, and then a 4-year-old program which is half-day 5 days a week. That is a much better option than a daycare center, and they are a bit older at that point.
When my son was born, I quit my job to stay home with him. I am very greatful my husband and I were able to scramble and make ends meet so that I am able to be with him all day. That being said, I don't think its fair to make parent's that must work feel guilty, or suggest they are just "chasing the all mighty dollar." There are many, many circumstances where working really is necessary, such as single parent households and areas with outrageous costs of living (like CA), where a family can not get by on one income. Your post suggests that parent's put their children in day care because of greed and I don't think that's a fair assumption to make. Having to leave a child in day care is a very difficult and heart wrenching decision for many parents to make, but one that is necessary for some.
When my son was born, I quit my job to stay home with him. I am very greatful my husband and I were able to scramble and make ends meet so that I am able to be with him all day. That being said, I don't think its fair to make parent's that must work feel guilty, or suggest they are just "chasing the all mighty dollar." There are many, many circumstances where working really is necessary, such as single parent households and areas with outrageous costs of living (like CA), where a family can not get by on one income. Your post suggests that parent's put their children in day care because of greed and I don't think that's a fair assumption to make. Having to leave a child in day care is a very difficult and heart wrenching decision for many parents to make, but one that is necessary for some.
I don't assume that ALL parents who put their kids in daycare are just doing it out of greed, but MANY do.....most likely a majority. I work with people who put their infants in daycare, who have spouses who have good jobs, and they live in the more expensive parts of the area in newer subdivisions, drive new vehicles, go on trips to Disney and other expensive vacations, etc. These people could definitely cut corners to be able to raise their kids without daycare, but choose to pursue material things and money and their sacred careers instead. I do realize that there are circumstances where it can't be avoided, single parents, etc. But some people, before they have kids, need to realize that children come before careers and luxury SUV's and houses on cul-de-sacs. If they're not ready to put their kids first, they should not have children and invest in some birth control instead.
i dont understand the people that consciously decide to have children knowing that they will be put in daycare so they can go back to their career.
i do understand though the people that have no choice. a child needs it's mother (all day and every day) and there is no one besides a relative that i would trust my child with.
i dont understand the people that consciously decide to have children knowing that they will be put in daycare so they can go back to their career.
i do understand though the people that have no choice. a child needs it's mother (all day and every day) and there is no one besides a relative that i would trust my child with.
I'm one of "those people" and I'll try to explain it. We wanted to have a child and were lucky enough to have a beautiful daughter. When she was born, it was necessary for me to work, but even if it weren't necessary, I still would have wanted to work. I love my daughter dearly, but I'm more than just her mom. I have a career that I love and for which I spent many years in school. I'm good at what I do and I enjoy the camaraderie of the workplace and I like having something to talk about at the end of the day other than what my daughter did. This was especially true when she was a baby and not doing much besides eating, pooping and sleeping.
Even though I worked outside the home, I cooked dinner at night, bathed her, read to her and played with her as much, if not more, than my SAHM did with me. Our weekends were devoted to her and to doing things as a family. Now that she's older we still spend lots and lots of time together and are very close.
As far as being greedy, I don't see earning a living as being greedy. I'm saving money for my daughter's education and my own retirement so she won't ever have to take care of me financially when I'm old. We're buying a modest house that is almost paid off. We have good health care. All of this is possible because I work outside the home.
We never argue about money because we have enough. Because of our income we're able to travel together and our daughter, although only 9, has already been to New York, Montana, Alaska, Wyoming and California and she remembers those vacations enthusiastically. We're already talking about where we want to go next summer.
The daycare situations we chose for her were high quality. As an infant she was in an in-home situation with a wonderful woman who had cared for children for 40 years. The house was clean and my daughter was always smiling, clean and happy when I picked her up. As a toddler she was in an accredited program with a very low student/teacher ratio.
As far as only trusting a relative with your children, 90% of kids who are abused are abused by a relative or close family friend. Just something to think about.
I know that there are plenty of people out there who think that the best thing they can do for their children is stay home with them. But that does not mean that people who put their children in daycare, even when it is not a strict financial necessity, are bad parents, or should not choose to have children.
I'm one of "those people" and I'll try to explain it. We wanted to have a child and were lucky enough to have a beautiful daughter. When she was born, it was necessary for me to work, but even if it weren't necessary, I still would have wanted to work. I love my daughter dearly, but I'm more than just her mom. I have a career that I love and for which I spent many years in school. I'm good at what I do and I enjoy the camaraderie of the workplace and I like having something to talk about at the end of the day other than what my daughter did. This was especially true when she was a baby and not doing much besides eating, pooping and sleeping.
Even though I worked outside the home, I cooked dinner at night, bathed her, read to her and played with her as much, if not more, than my SAHM did with me. Our weekends were devoted to her and to doing things as a family. Now that she's older we still spend lots and lots of time together and are very close.
As far as being greedy, I don't see earning a living as being greedy. I'm saving money for my daughter's education and my own retirement so she won't ever have to take care of me financially when I'm old. We're buying a modest house that is almost paid off. We have good health care. All of this is possible because I work outside the home.
We never argue about money because we have enough. Because of our income we're able to travel together and our daughter, although only 9, has already been to New York, Montana, Alaska, Wyoming and California and she remembers those vacations enthusiastically. We're already talking about where we want to go next summer.
The daycare situations we chose for her were high quality. As an infant she was in an in-home situation with a wonderful woman who had cared for children for 40 years. The house was clean and my daughter was always smiling, clean and happy when I picked her up. As a toddler she was in an accredited program with a very low student/teacher ratio.
As far as only trusting a relative with your children, 90% of kids who are abused are abused by a relative or close family friend. Just something to think about.
I know that there are plenty of people out there who think that the best thing they can do for their children is stay home with them. But that does not mean that people who put their children in daycare, even when it is not a strict financial necessity, are bad parents, or should not choose to have children.
i dont understand the people that consciously decide to have children knowing that they will be put in daycare so they can go back to their career.
i do understand though the people that have no choice. a child needs it's mother (all day and every day) and there is no one besides a relative that i would trust my child with.
If you know the benefits of good daycares (that they can actually improve social, emotional, and academic development), I don't understand why this is a problem. You are basically saying that people who work shouldn't have kids?
If you know the benefits of good daycares (that they can actually improve social, emotional, and academic development), I don't understand why this is a problem. You are basically saying that people who work shouldn't have kids?
what im really saying is that the mother (if possible) should stay home with the child until school age (or at least until they are preschool age) and that the father should work. or the mother could work a part time job after the father gets home. or the mother could work from home. or the father could stay at home and the mother could go out and work. it's just my opinion. i'm just thinking of the child. most children want to be with their mothers.
what im really saying is that the mother (if possible) should stay home with the child until school age (or at least until they are preschool age) and that the father should work. or the mother could work a part time job after the father gets home. or the mother could work from home. or the father could stay at home and the mother could go out and work. it's just my opinion. i'm just thinking of the child. most children want to be with their mothers.
Again, if you look at the research, it says that high quality daycares can improve social, emotional, and academic development. Therefore, there is really no empirical basis for what you are saying rather than feeling that someone should be at home. That's fine if you choose to stay at home, but there is no reason that each parent has to. I've worked with plenty of stay at home moms that are really bad parents, and plenty of working mom's that are unbelievably good. So, I think the blanket statement doesn't take anything else into consideration.
Most children also would like chocolate for dinner and pizza every night..... since when do we let them make the decisions?
what im really saying is that the mother (if possible) should stay home with the child until school age (or at least until they are preschool age) and that the father should work. or the mother could work a part time job after the father gets home. or the mother could work from home. or the father could stay at home and the mother could go out and work. it's just my opinion. i'm just thinking of the child. most children want to be with their mothers.
The woman who watches our 2 year old daughter has a different take. She told me one day-"She doesn't need you now. She needs you when she's getting off the bus and when she's going on school trips and when she's playing in her first basketball game, or concert, or school play. She needs you to make her lunches and bring homework she forgot. So if you want to stay home, get your s*** together so you can when she goes to school." You may think the "she doesn't need you now" is harsh, but I got her point and appreciated it. This woman absolutely loves my daughter. No-she is not her mother, but my daughter lights up when she knows she's going to "Debba's". And she lights up when my husband or I walk in to pick her up. She is receiving nothing but benefits by being with this woman during the day. Yes, there are some bad daycare situations out there, but I don't think it's fair to lump them all into that category. I thank God everyday that my daughter has such a loving and caring babysitter while I need to work and cannot yet stay home.
Originally Posted by conorsdad No daycare, especially for babies and young toddlers. How can you trust leaving an infant with strangers, who can't tell you if there's anything fishy going on at the daycare center? Plus, to those daycare workers, your child is a number...and as long as they are quiet, they don't care all that much. If daycare can be avoided, by all costs don't do it! Thise are the most formative years of your kids' lives, why trust theit development, especially emotionally, to some low-wage daycare worker? Maybe its different if its a family member or someone close you can trust...but I still think its more beneficial for those years to be spent building a bond with your own child, rather than chasing the almighty $$$. If money is the issue, in most cases with the high cost of daycare, its just as financially advantageous to have one parent work full-time during the day and have the other parent pick up a part-time job for evenings/weekends. Plus, it just so mcuh better for your child's health and development, both emotionally and physically.
Most schools have Pre-K programs for getting kids socialized and playing/interacting with other kids. Our public schools have a 3-year-old program, where they go for a half-day 3 days per week, and then a 4-year-old program which is half-day 5 days a week. That is a much better option than a daycare center, and they are a bit older at that point.
I never experienced this,even though I've heard it has happened. My daughter was never just a number...she even called her "stranger" MawMaw Carol and was very attached to her. She is 9 now and hasn't been in daycare since 3, but we saw one of her strangers at the store the other day and they talked and hugged like she still goes there. All of the workers there were there because they loved kids...not because they were forced to work for minimum wage. One was a 19 year going to school to be a kindergarten teacher...what better place to work than a daycare. Your post is full of vast generalizations that are unfair and a bit on the ignorant side.
Quote:
These people could definitely cut corners to be able to raise their kids without daycare, but choose to pursue material things and money and their sacred careers instead.
If it is working for them and the kids enjoy the effects of these so called greedy parents, who are you to tell them they are wrong?
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a child needs it's mother (all day and every day)
Yes, a child needs his/her mother...but all day? No, I strongly disagree with that. You can always tell the kids that have a mother who feels their child won't make it if they aren't attached to the hip all day. Many people have this amazing ability to work AND love their children and you know what? The kids turn out wonderful. I also know many stay at home moms who have hellions for kids. Parenting is a skill that you either have or you don't....having someone to pay your way through life so you can stay at home with your kids doesn't improve your chances of having this skill.
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The woman who watches our 2 year old daughter has a different take. She told me one day-"She doesn't need you now. She needs you when she's getting off the bus and when she's going on school trips and when she's playing in her first basketball game, or concert, or school play. She needs you to make her lunches and bring homework she forgot. So if you want to stay home, get your s*** together so you can when she goes to school." You may think the "she doesn't need you now" is harsh, but I got her point and appreciated it. This woman absolutely loves my daughter. No-she is not her mother, but my daughter lights up when she knows she's going to "Debba's". And she lights up when my husband or I walk in to pick her up. She is receiving nothing but benefits by being with this woman during the day. Yes, there are some bad daycare situations out there, but I don't think it's fair to lump them all into that category. I thank God everyday that my daughter has such a loving and caring babysitter while I need to work and cannot yet stay home.
