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Old 02-05-2014, 09:05 AM
 
374 posts, read 491,250 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
I don't understand why some people are so concerned with the OP's daughter getting in trouble. Being a doormat is much worse than getting in trouble at school. She should fight back even if she gets in trouble.

If this were my child I would:

1. File a police report each and every time the battery occurs (it's battery if the boy hit her).
2. Provide the school with a copy of the police report.
3. Tell the school that you will be contacting a lawyer.
4. Have your child fight back even if she gets in trouble.
5. Contact a lawyer.

As sad as it is schools respond to legal threats much more vigorously than they do parents trying to settle things without one.
I would do this but also have a meeting with the Principal if nothing is done, move up to the Superintendent and Hold the School board members personally responsible if any harm were to come to your daughter. After meeting with the Principal, ask to tape the conversation with his or her knowledge, do the same with superintendent. Bring a lawyer if possible. Then ask to speak and be put on the agenda at the next school board meeting. I guarantee the board president will freak out in private to the Sup. As a former elected official this is the route I would go. As an aside they will not let you speak publicly even though they can't deny you they won't let you name the other children or your daughter for confidence reasons but will let you meet with them in private. Or should offer that. Take it and bring all documentation, and lawyer if possible.

File a police report every time.

Think about legally finding a way in your state to home school, and threaten to have them pay for private or another school district if they can't meet your childs needs and keep her safe.

There is no way in hell I would let my child be bullied, hit or nothing be done about it. I would make that very plain to them in a calm but firm manner. I would state for boys to be ganging up on a girl is disgusting, no morals or manners and nothing to "look into" it is something to solve and stop in its tracks. I would also let them know I will be contacting media, as it is a duty of a parent to protect not only their child but the children of the district and neighborhood and you will want other parents support and knowledge of situation.
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Old 02-05-2014, 09:08 AM
 
3,393 posts, read 4,005,936 times
Reputation: 9310
There was a problem with bullying at my son's school. When the principal was not responsive, the mom went to the local newspaper. The negative publicity immediately came to the attention of the school district and it was handled very quickly.

I do think this would be a last resort, but it was very effective.
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Old 02-05-2014, 09:33 AM
 
13,980 posts, read 25,909,069 times
Reputation: 39902
Quote:
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21 View Post
There was a problem with bullying at my son's school. When the principal was not responsive, the mom went to the local newspaper. The negative publicity immediately came to the attention of the school district and it was handled very quickly.

I do think this would be a last resort, but it was very effective.
I would be afraid that publicizing the bullying, either via local tv or newspaper, would result in ostracizing the child among her peers.
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Old 02-05-2014, 09:35 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,495 posts, read 26,823,692 times
Reputation: 28031
When my daughter was bullied, I went to the school and demanded that they move her out of the class that the bully was in. I was unhappy with their response to the situation (they said the principal was too busy to speak with me, then they said they would move my daughter as a special favor because she broke her arm at the school the year before). So I went home and I emailed the principal, and everyone higher up than him. That worked...it told the principal that he couldn't just ignore the situation. Later in the year when my daughter had problems with the same girl following her to the bathroom, the principal was quick to take care of it.

But the next year when we had a different problem, the principal completely refused to speak to me, return my calls or reply to my email. He did attempt to address the problem, but it still happened every time a teacher wasn't looking. We switched to online public school after that. For us it was a good option because I am home during the day, but if the OP has to work, it would depend a lot on her daughter's maturity level whether or not she was able to learn without supervision.
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Old 02-05-2014, 09:45 AM
 
Location: MN
1,311 posts, read 1,691,137 times
Reputation: 1598
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
I don't understand why some people are so concerned with the OP's daughter getting in trouble. Being a doormat is much worse than getting in trouble at school. She should fight back even if she gets in trouble.
Who said anything about being a doormat? The truth is schools are notorious for blaming the victim. They will turn around and say it's HER fault and next thing you know she'll be the one suspended. I had friends in school whose siblings were suspended because the teachers or principal would have them write the bullies names down on a list and before you knew it, it was a "hit list." My point is, the OP needs to be careful how she handles this and what she chooses to instruct her daughter to do.
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Old 02-05-2014, 09:46 AM
 
32,516 posts, read 37,115,147 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ace105 View Post
My daughter is currently 12 turning 13 late Febuary. She is in the 7th grade and this group of boys is in the same grade. It mostly happens when the classes switch. The worst they have ever done was they pushed my daughter against a locker and punched her in the face. I checked my emails and at 2:46PM the school board sent me an email saying that they didn't have any proof of the bullying because they abuse her in the hall that dosent have a camera. They are having students go into the principals office and explain what is happening. So they are doing something. I requested that hallway get a camera. However, my daughter might get in trouble also because when they pushed my daughter against the locker, she slapped one of the boys in the face. Should I fight self-defense, or be passive?
Really? It's even in your mind that you should be passive? A group of boys is bullying your child, it's escalated, they threw her up against a locker and punched her in the face.

If you don't stand up for her...... who is going to? Time to pull up the Parent Pants as far as they'll go and protect your daughter. Which means going to the school, in person, and telling them they've got a massive problem because YOUR daughter was assaulted on school grounds. Document everything.
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Old 02-05-2014, 09:48 AM
 
3,393 posts, read 4,005,936 times
Reputation: 9310
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
I would be afraid that publicizing the bullying, either via local tv or newspaper, would result in ostracizing the child among her peers.
The news story didn't include any names, as they were all minors. But other parents started flooding the school board and principal with calls.
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Old 02-05-2014, 11:08 AM
 
1,030 posts, read 1,575,383 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21 View Post
The news story didn't include any names, as they were all minors. But other parents started flooding the school board and principal with calls.
Which is a real shame because bullies SHOULD be named and shamed!
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Old 02-05-2014, 11:52 AM
 
2,547 posts, read 4,222,258 times
Reputation: 5612
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
I don't understand why some people are so concerned with the OP's daughter getting in trouble. Being a doormat is much worse than getting in trouble at school. She should fight back even if she gets in trouble.
I, for one, can't for the life of me understand how people are advocating on here for the girl to physically fight back - did no one read where it says that it's a GROUP of BOYS against ONE GIRL??? Unless she's a black belt in karate, how the hell are people expecting her to fight them off?? Even a single grown male is not likely to withstand an attack from a group of males his own size. Here for all you know you can have a tiny girl against a bunch of much stronger boys. Would you be saying the same if you were talking about a grown woman repeatedly getting attacked by a group of men? Seriously, people.
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Old 02-05-2014, 12:47 PM
 
100 posts, read 136,086 times
Reputation: 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilCookie View Post
I, for one, can't for the life of me understand how people are advocating on here for the girl to physically fight back - did no one read where it says that it's a GROUP of BOYS against ONE GIRL??? Unless she's a black belt in karate, how the hell are people expecting her to fight them off?? Even a single grown male is not likely to withstand an attack from a group of males his own size. Here for all you know you can have a tiny girl against a bunch of much stronger boys. Would you be saying the same if you were talking about a grown woman repeatedly getting attacked by a group of men? Seriously, people.
I'm only asking, not being sarcastic.

Are you advocating for the young lady to just be a victim and NOT defend herself? Just take whatever punishment the boys dish out to her?

I would hope not. Allow me to point out that if her only choices are fight or flight

and flight has been removed

then she can only fight...instead of just taking it. I would advise any person to do that, male or female, young or old.

if she's been struck and she has no alternative...then take them out to the best of her abilities

like the old saying goes

"if I'm going down, I'm taking as many of you as I can with me"

plus, these are 7th grade boys...what is a more likely outcome is that if she ferociously defends herself against one, the others will think twice about it and will probably pass

The OP said one boy struck her and she defended herself by slapping that one boy

if it happens again and she does more damage than a slap, the others probably will not want any part of that...that's the track record that's been established.

The pack mentality is to pick off what they perceive to be the weakest one. If she proves otherwise, they may go find another target. She may just earn their respect.

If not, then she will at least have some sense of empowerment about herself which can serve her well on her road to recovery.

But hopefully it never gets that far and it will be stopped immediately by the adults
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