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Just as an aside here, our kids all think we had it easy when we started out in the world. My husband was drafted and shipped off to Vietnam. I worked in as state psychiatric hospital. Neither were plum jobs, by any means.
But somehow they all firmly believe we got to where we are not through hard work and horrible jobs, but because we were handed opportunities that are no longer available to them.
How did this rumor get started?
That's a great point. If you older than 60, you went to Vietnam.
I'm really stunned that in New Jersey it is mandatory that you provide your kids with a higher education if you divorce. What if neither parent can afford to do this?
What if dad, who has a great job and is the primary breadwinner, loses his job and can't replace it? What if he legitimately cannot afford the bill for college?
That's a great point. If you older than 60, you went to Vietnam.
I'm really stunned that in New Jersey it is mandatory that you provide your kids with a higher education if you divorce. What if neither parent can afford to do this?
Divorces can be devastating to a couple's finances. Tack private law school tuition on top of that? Yikes!
What if you flat don't want to? We scrimped and saved and used a small family inheritance to provide a college fund for our children that would have covered 75% of the tuition at the state university three blocks from our home. Between their college fund and scholarships, living at home, and summer jobs, our kids could have graduated debt free.
Not a one of them did this. They all insisted on going to out-of-town universities and borrowed money to do this. They wanted the "college experience" that colleges tout.
Financial officers would do a quick, this-is-what-your-payments-will-be talk when they signed the papers each year, and we tried our darndest to explain how this would limit their choices and lock them in like indentured servants because there was no getting out of that debt. All fell on deaf ears.
Naturally, as each one got their undergraduate degree they realized they needed a graduate degree to make a decent living and pay off that debt, so back to graduate school and more loans.
Thank heavens they weren't able to get the courts to make us pay for their decisions. We'd be living in a van down by the river by now.
Just as an aside here, our kids all think we had it easy when we started out in the world. My husband was drafted and shipped off to Vietnam. I worked in as state psychiatric hospital. Neither were plum jobs, by any means.
But somehow they all firmly believe we got to where we are not through hard work and horrible jobs, but because we were handed opportunities that are no longer available to them.
How did this rumor get started?
Our kids have it tough too. My 8-yr old son still doesn't have the Xbox One (he only has Wii), and my 11-yr old niece is growing up without her own cell phone.
I'm really stunned that in New Jersey it is mandatory that you provide your kids with a higher education if you divorce. What if neither parent can afford to do this?
It's only required to be included in the settlement agreement of parents who have the financial means. I suspect the precedent setting lawsuits were parents who were very affluent. The judges knew the cost of the college education was a drop in the bucket compared to the families' assets. The rest of the parents don't pay as much because their financial contribution is lower. What happens if they can't afford it? They better have a good relationship with their kids so they don't get taken to court, but I'm sure most New Jersey parents get off just fine by telling their children to take out student loans.
There is also the wedding they've come to expect. Apparently, $25,000 is the average cost of wedding today.
No cake and punch in the church basement for this crowd. It's a sit-down dinner with an open bar at a place where you have to rent the chairs. Then there's all the parties beforehand, the brunch afterwards, not to mention the honeymoon. All of this on top of the $25K reception.
A friend's daughter (who was working part-time as a cashier and whose fiancee was not employed at all) thought her parents should pay for a wedding at a venue that charged for everything from parking to cutting the cake (buck a slice). She pouted for months because they wouldn't pony up $5K for a dress she had heart set on. It was ridiculous.
Where do kids get the idea that they deserve private high schools, college tuition, and wedding extravaganzas?
86 million would pay tuition for about 860 for four years. Not even a drop in the bucket. That four billion and 2.4% are money those companies don't pay so they have incentive to stay in the US. That isn't money our gov't gives them.
So we tax the hell out of them and they leave the country. Then what?
You are one of those angry people that just throw stupid ideas out there that don't think them through or have any real solutions.
Google like most other tech companies are located in Silicon Valley, to be near Stanford and other universities where they recruit most of their employees. California has a reputation of being one of the worst tax states for business. But the companies stay in California, because this is where most of the educated workforce is.
You clearly understand nothing about how politics works. Tax breaks have nothing to do with where businesses locate. That just has to do with corporations greasing politicians hands, and getting tax breaks back in exchange.
With a better educated workforce, more business would move to the US, not less.
New Jersey requires parents to include financial responsibility of higher education in divorce settlements. Not all states do that. That's why New Jersey treats divorced parents differently than married parents. New Jersey law obligates divorced parents to provide their children a higher education if they have the ability to pay. Married parents don't have the same obligation. The Canning case may change that.
ALL states require ALL people to abide by the terms of their divorce settlements. It is not specific to NJ. The person who posted the article had indicated that the facts of the two cases were similar. They are not similar.
I know you hope that all parents will be required to pay for college but I think it would be a huge over reach for the government.
So now any twit who doesn't want to follow the rules of her parents' home can just camp out there and do what she wants by threatening to get a lawyer? And you have to pay more than $10,000 a year for a private high school to boot? Sorry, I don't think this is going to fly.
And if I'm your mother and you are posting vulgar remarks about me on Facebook, you'd better feel lucky that all you got was thrown out of the house.
Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 03-08-2014 at 04:15 PM..
Back to parents and their contribution to their children's college education.....regardless of the finances of the parents, it is their right to determine if and how much and under what circumstances they are willing to foot the bill. I know people whose parents only paid for Catholic colleges or in state Universities, or their own alma mater. Their money, their choice. And no across the board government formula can determine a family's ability to pay. Too many unknowns. Parents are aware of their own finances as well as their own child's abilities and maturity. If an adult child doesn't care for their parent's criteria, they are welcome to fund their college themselves. That is what being an adult is.
Last edited by Jaded; 03-09-2014 at 05:41 PM..
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