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To me, I understand staying home with babies, but why school-age children? I also get exercising the option if you are rich, but my sister and her husband are not. Like I said, they make just enough to pay the bills and living expenses with his income alone. She has worked hard for the past 12+ years in her career. I hate to see her give it all up for such uncertainty. Do SAHM kids and the kids of working parents actually turn out any different?
Has she asked you for financial help? Has she asked your opinion on her decision? If the answer to both is "no", butt out!
I was the child of a SAHM --- she set a terrible example of what a woman could do in life (she was collage grad), I never had any respect for her
I'm guessing there is more behind your feelings than the fact that she stayed home. She likely gave up her own life to be there for you. You could be a little appreciative.
To me, I understand staying home with babies, but why school-age children? I also get exercising the option if you are rich, but my sister and her husband are not. Like I said, they make just enough to pay the bills and living expenses with his income alone. She has worked hard for the past 12+ years in her career. I hate to see her give it all up for such uncertainty. Do SAHM kids and the kids of working parents actually turn out any different?
So you don't understand it. I don't understand why people like little yip yip dogs. It doesn't mean I get to be all judgmental about their choice in pets. Move along.
To me, I understand staying home with babies, but why school-age children? I also get exercising the option if you are rich, but my sister and her husband are not. Like I said, they make just enough to pay the bills and living expenses with his income alone. She has worked hard for the past 12+ years in her career. I hate to see her give it all up for such uncertainty. Do SAHM kids and the kids of working parents actually turn out any different?
I only work part time and my kids are similar ages.
They leave the house at 7:45am (schoolbus) and on days I work until 5, don't come back home until around 6pm (after we pick everyone up from aftercare and get home). That means they have 11 hour days. As children.
The bedtime is 8:30. In those 2 1/2 hours, we have to:
1. Feed them dinner. If nothing was previously cooked, we have to whip something up fast (they are normally starving at this point), and it needs to be nutritious. Kid-friendly foods that cook fast tend to be processed and full of sodium. Avoiding those is not an easy task unless you want to eat spaghetti, tacos, or carrot sticks every damn day. LOL
2. Make sure homework got done. If it did, check it and make them correct mistakes. If it didn't, they have to do it. Try that with tired kids. Not fun.
3. Take care of the crisis of the day. There is always something. School drama the kids just have to tell you about? Lost homework? Big school project due? Form to fill out? Do it NOW.
3. Get everyone bathed, teeth brushed, clothes laid out. On nights where they somehow got a half hour to just relax this is not so bad. On nights where they are still tired and stressed out, they fight it every step.
4. Keep in mind the kitchen has to get cleaned up and swept, not to mention the dining room table and the area surrounding it. Everyone has to have clean laundry for the next day. No matter how much you do laundry, someone is always missing underwear or socks. Heh.
5. If anyone is sick, all this goes to hell. Dito if one of you has to work late or is traveling. Someone has to work a full day and come home to another full time job to handle by themselves.
6. At this point my husband and I haven't even paid any bills, returned any phonecalls, answered any urgent work emails (that someone without kids surely sent), or even had a true conversaion with each other where we could actually give our full attention to one another. Not to mention errands and/or problems to take care of: the car is out of gas or we are out of dishwasher powder or someone's mother hasn't gotten a phonecall in too long or someone brought work home and has to stay up late to do it. My sister/bestfriend/coworker is calling with a crisis. The dog needs to be walked. Something got spilled or broken. Etc etc.
7. Then you get everything done, collapse on the couch utterly exhausted, and try to work up the energy for sex. Yay!!
It's either stay home, hire a wife in the form of a maid, move someone's mother in or die of the stress.
You need to leave your sister the hell alone. And I say that with love OP.
I do side with the OP. S/he clearly cares for his sister, so why is it almost always the burden of the mother to quit and stay home? It takes two to have children, which is why I always cringe when these fabricated "mommy wars" develop because the father is invariably left out of discussion, and thus no fault, guilt, etc. will ever be assigned to him.
My stance is that until 50/50 of the fathers choose to quit their jobs and stay home and 50/50 of the mothers choose to continue working, we should not place this type of pressure on mothers to do everything related to child rearing post nursing.
I only work part time and my kids are similar ages.
They leave the house at 7:45am (schoolbus) and on days I work until 5, don't come back home until around 6pm (after we pick everyone up from aftercare and get home). That means they have 11 hour days. As children.
The bedtime is 8:30. In those 2 1/2 hours, we have to:
1. Feed them dinner. If nothing was previously cooked, we have to whip something up fast (they are normally starving at this point), and it needs to be nutritious. Kid-friendly foods that cook fast tend to be processed and full of sodium. Avoiding those is not an easy task unless you want to eat spaghetti, tacos, or carrot sticks every damn day. LOL
2. Make sure homework got done. If it did, check it and make them correct mistakes. If it didn't, they have to do it. Try that with tired kids. Not fun.
3. Take care of the crisis of the day. There is always something. School drama the kids just have to tell you about? Lost homework? Form to fill out? Do it NOW.
3. Get everyone bathed, teeth brushed, clothes laid out. On nights where they somehow got a half hour to just relax this is not so bad. On nights where they are still tired and stressed out, they fight it every step.
4. Keep in mind the kitchen has to get cleaned up and swept, not to mention the dining room table and the area surrounding it. Everyone has to have clean laundry for the next day. No matter how much you do laundry, someone is always missing underwear or socks. Heh.
5. If anyone is sick, all this goes to hell.
6. At this point my husband and I haven't even paid any bills, returned any phonecalls, answered any urgent work emails (that someone without kids surely sent), or even had a true conversaion with each other where we could actually give our full attention to one another. Not to mention errands and/or problems to take care of: the car is out of gas or we are out of dishwasher powder or someone's mother hasn't gotten a phonecall in too long or someone brought work home and has to stay up late to do it. My sister/bestfriend/coworker is calling with a crisis. The dog needs to be walked. Something got spilled or broken. Etc etc.
7. Then you get everything done, collapse on the couch utterly exhausted, and try to work up the energy for sex. Yay!!
It's either stay home, hire a wife in the form of a maid, move someone's mother in or die of the stress.
You need to leave your sister the hell alone. And I say that with love OP.
I only work part time and my kids are similar ages.
They leave the house at 7:45am (schoolbus) and on days I work until 5, don't come back home until around 6pm (after we pick everyone up from aftercare and get home). That means they have 11 hour days. As children.
The bedtime is 8:30. In those 2 1/2 hours, we have to:
1. Feed them dinner. If nothing was previously cooked, we have to whip something up fast (they are normally starving at this point), and it needs to be nutritious. Kid-friendly foods that cook fast tend to be processed and full of sodium. Avoiding those is not an easy task unless you want to eat spaghetti, tacos, or carrot sticks every damn day. LOL
2. Make sure homework got done. If it did, check it and make them correct mistakes. If it didn't, they have to do it. Try that with tired kids. Not fun.
3. Take care of the crisis of the day. There is always something. School drama the kids just have to tell you about? Lost homework? Big school project due? Form to fill out? Do it NOW.
3. Get everyone bathed, teeth brushed, clothes laid out. On nights where they somehow got a half hour to just relax this is not so bad. On nights where they are still tired and stressed out, they fight it every step.
4. Keep in mind the kitchen has to get cleaned up and swept, not to mention the dining room table and the area surrounding it. Everyone has to have clean laundry for the next day. No matter how much you do laundry, someone is always missing underwear or socks. Heh.
5. If anyone is sick, all this goes to hell. Dito if one of you has to work late or is traveling. Someone has to work a full day and come home to another full time job to handle by themselves.
6. At this point my husband and I haven't even paid any bills, returned any phonecalls, answered any urgent work emails (that someone without kids surely sent), or even had a true conversaion with each other where we could actually give our full attention to one another. Not to mention errands and/or problems to take care of: the car is out of gas or we are out of dishwasher powder or someone's mother hasn't gotten a phonecall in too long or someone brought work home and has to stay up late to do it. My sister/bestfriend/coworker is calling with a crisis. The dog needs to be walked. Something got spilled or broken. Etc etc.
7. Then you get everything done, collapse on the couch utterly exhausted, and try to work up the energy for sex. Yay!!
It's either stay home, hire a wife in the form of a maid, move someone's mother in or die of the stress.
You need to leave your sister the hell alone. And I say that with love OP.
If you want less stress, I suggest you and your husband try something like fly lady and cozi. Really, if your family (please read that as not just you) get some better organization it can make most of that disappear.
I do side with the OP. S/he clearly cares for his sister, so why is it almost always the burden of the mother to quit and stay home? It takes two to have children, which is why I always cringe when these fabricated "mommy wars" develop because the father is invariably left out of discussion, and thus no fault, guilt, etc. will ever be assigned to him.
My stance is that until 50/50 of the fathers choose to quit their jobs and stay home and 50/50 of the mothers choose to continue working, we should not place this type of pressure on mothers to do everything related to child rearing post nursing.
If you want less stress, I suggest you and your husband try something like fly lady and cozi. Really, if your family (please read that as not just you) get some better organization it can make most of that disappear.
Yea, yea. We split tasks, try to cook ahead of time, give the kids a chore chart and have them do a lot of things themselves, move some chores to weekends, do our best to streamline as much as we can etc.. I try to clean on days I get home early from work.
It's still a lot for 2 people to handle, and honestly with kids and work the curveballs just keep on coming. It's just life with a family. Stuff happens.
Anyway, jumping out of the rat race and having one parent stay home is a legit decision. It does make life easier, if you don't want to go the nanny route.
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