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Old 03-16-2014, 10:21 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
24,012 posts, read 28,401,981 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strawflower View Post
It's definitely not an either-or thing, but as a parent of high school/college kids, it kind of astounds me how much these kids have on their plates - full course loads of AP classes, varsity athletics, clubs, etc. that in a lot of cases, I just don't see what the point of them having a job would be. They're working plenty hard enough, no need to spread them so thin.
And if that's what works for you and your family then great! You know your kids, their abilities and their workload better than anyone here. My objection is the posters telling other people that kids who work and attend school can't possibly be academically or socially successful or happy or whatever....trying to apply their own personal belief system as a universal truth.
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Old 03-16-2014, 10:56 PM
 
16,825 posts, read 17,684,540 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
How many kids get scholarships out of their extracurriculars?

Your anecdotes doesn't count for any more than Mattie's do.
Ok. That is of course your opinion.

But just as parents can have unique insights to children, so can teachers.
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Old 03-16-2014, 11:01 PM
 
16,825 posts, read 17,684,540 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
And if that's what works for you and your family then great! You know your kids, their abilities and their workload better than anyone here. My objection is the posters telling other people that kids who work and attend school can't possibly be academically or socially successful or happy or whatever....trying to apply their own personal belief system as a universal truth.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
I am sure there exists a subset of students who can manage academics, family, sports, extracurriculars and a job. But in my experience as a teacher for over a decade, they are the minority.
Since you are clearly trying to refer to my posts, I just wanted to remind that I stated quite clearly that some children can "do it all". Multiple times.
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Old 03-17-2014, 06:36 AM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,102,689 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strawflower View Post
Lots and lots and lots of kids. I'd venture to say pretty much all scholarships, outside of athletic ones, are based on being a well-rounded student - ie participating in clubs, having leadership positions, etc. Anecdotally, the scholarships my daughter received for being involved at school in service and leadership were worth far more than she ever could have made working at an ice cream shop.

In our house, having a job falls below grades and extracurriculars. If my kid was not involved in anything outside of school work, I would encourage a job. But I would not be too keen on my kid giving up sports, service, or clubs to work at McDonald's. And if the grades were low, forget about it.

I think summer jobs are very important and my kids have and will work during the summer, but I am not really on board with them working during the school year.

Regarding allowance, I am of the mindset that it should be used as a way to teach kids to budget properly. Barring any major issues, my kids get a certain amount of money each week. But it's not for chores, or really tied into doing anything around the house at all. In our house, you just do that stuff because you're a part of the family.
Fine, but I was responding to lkb who said teens having jobs is OK if you don't want them to go to college and only expect them to ever earn minimum wage. That's a bit of a stretch.
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Old 03-17-2014, 07:46 AM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,102,689 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Ok. That is of course your opinion.

But just as parents can have unique insights to children, so can teachers.
OK... so your opinion counts more than mine?
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Old 03-17-2014, 07:54 AM
 
Location: Chicagoland
5,749 posts, read 10,354,809 times
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Teaching our kids the value of hard work is very important to my spouse and me (though I am the main driver on this one).

I believe that family/school/community contribution via hard work is a key component to meaning, fulfillment and happiness in life. Not to mention all the many other benefits that a strong work ethic brings. I believe kids want to work to contribute to their environment as it makes them feel purposeful and important.

When my kids were 3 and 5, I had incorporated Montessori type work stations around our house (read up on Maria Montessori's methods). This included kid-sized brooms, dust pans, squirt bottles, toy baskets, etc. for cleaning/putting away items.

My kids helped clear the table, put their clothes away, made their beds, put toys away, fed the pets, kept their rooms clean, helped prepare meals/school lunches. I also required them to complete daily "homework" (e.g. math worksheets, journal writing, etc.). I did not give them $ for any of this. I explained that this was their job as a family member and student. I also severely limited TV/video games and though they now have more freedom with media, they 1) haven't developed the inclination for it 2) Do not have the time for it.

My kids are now 12-15 and they are very happy, well-adjusted, and successful at school and in life. They continue to work very hard at things. Though some may think it is too much (or I am a "Tiger Mom" - I've heard that before), my kids are up for the challenge and I believe they enjoy the hard work (though they won't admit this to me!). They are bored and listless if they do not have work to do. This has also taught them to be well-organized. I believe the busy child stays out of trouble.

OP, I would stick to your goals on this - I think you are on the right track. However, you may get a lot of resistance on this from people who believe childhood should be carefree, filled with constant entertainment, no responsibilities, etc. However, requiring hard work does not preclude having fun, carefree moments. My kids are rewarded with weekends/trips/fun activities, but they know we have to work for that. They are not afforded the life of "constant entertainment" that some of their peers have.

Your cousins' lifestyle would be a nightmare for me - totally unacceptable. I think people underestimate how kids may contribute to the household chores, and how much they want to contribute. I think teaching kids the value and importance of hard work is one of the best gifts you can give a child.

Last edited by GoCUBS1; 03-17-2014 at 08:10 AM..
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:13 AM
 
Location: Buxton UK
4,965 posts, read 5,677,696 times
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When I was a kid we were encouraged to do extra household chores/jobs at weekends sometimes (in addition to our standard ones), and the parents would give us some extra pocket money for this. We did plenty of jobs as well without extra pocket money already, such as cleaning out the yard and cleaning up after ourselves in general. That was stuff we should already have been doing. We only got extra pocket money for doing extra "chores" on top of those things. I think it's quite a good idea to give you an idea of working ethic. The thing is that rather than think it was pointless/waste of time etc, we enjoyed doing it, knowing we were doing something useful and also getting paid to do it. I think most kids will respond positively to the idea.
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:19 AM
 
Location: Chicagoland
5,749 posts, read 10,354,809 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
And if that's what works for you and your family then great! You know your kids, their abilities and their workload better than anyone here. My objection is the posters telling other people that kids who work and attend school can't possibly be academically or socially successful or happy or whatever....trying to apply their own personal belief system as a universal truth.
Agree.... I get this all the time - that my kids are "doing too much." My kids are doing it all - high level academics, travel sports, orchestra, clubs, etc. plus all their home chores. They happen to be very well-organized and enjoy being busy. I do not underestimate my kids or ask them to slow down unless I see them stressed, unhappy, unhealthy, or unable to complete things because they are overwhelmed with activities (I watch closely for this).

My son will be taking all honors/AP courses next year but academics come easy for him and he is a hard worker. Yet other parents are already telling me he won't have enough time to hang out and be a kid. But this is his interpretation of "being a kid." Maybe others' interpretation is different. He loves the challenge. I know my kids. I never will understand why other parents try to force a "one-size-fits-all" style on others.

Last edited by GoCUBS1; 03-17-2014 at 08:27 AM..
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:26 AM
 
Location: Chicagoland
5,749 posts, read 10,354,809 times
Reputation: 7010
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeteoMan View Post
When I was a kid we were encouraged to do extra household chores/jobs at weekends sometimes (in addition to our standard ones), and the parents would give us some extra pocket money for this. We did plenty of jobs as well without extra pocket money already, such as cleaning out the yard and cleaning up after ourselves in general. That was stuff we should already have been doing. We only got extra pocket money for doing extra "chores" on top of those things. I think it's quite a good idea to give you an idea of working ethic. The thing is that rather than think it was pointless/waste of time etc, we enjoyed doing it, knowing we were doing something useful and also getting paid to do it. I think most kids will respond positively to the idea.
Yes, that's a great way of handling it. We don't give $ for daily chores, but do give $ for the "extra chores." If my kids want extra pocket money, they will come up to me and ask if they can do one of these bigger chores. E.g. last week my son wanted $ for a ski trip so he asked if he could clean out the garage for it. We then negotiated a fair price for this service.
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:43 AM
 
Location: Chicagoland
5,749 posts, read 10,354,809 times
Reputation: 7010
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawflower View Post
Lots and lots and lots of kids. I'd venture to say pretty much all scholarships, outside of athletic ones, are based on being a well-rounded student - ie participating in clubs, having leadership positions, etc. Anecdotally, the scholarships my daughter received for being involved at school in service and leadership were worth far more than she ever could have made working at an ice cream shop.

In our house, having a job falls below grades and extracurriculars. If my kid was not involved in anything outside of school work, I would encourage a job. But I would not be too keen on my kid giving up sports, service, or clubs to work at McDonald's. And if the grades were low, forget about it.

I think summer jobs are very important and my kids have and will work during the summer, but I am not really on board with them working during the school year.
We are just thinking about this now.... If a kid can successfully balance school, extracurriculars, clubs, etc. with a job, I don't see why they should not pursue it, especially if the job offers them some experience/mentorship in a field they want to explore. E.g. A kid who wants to be a veterinarian working Saturday mornings at an animal clinic, or a kid who wants to be an accountant doing some light bookkeeping a few times a week. If a parent/child thinks working at McDonalds helps teach them responsibility/work ethic (getting to work on time/dealing with angry customers, etc.), then why shouldn't they pursue this if they can successfully fit it in their schedule?
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