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My baby is 15 months old, and every time she cries (for any reason) my wife just drops anything she's doing to pick her up and sooth her.
sometimes I think we might be spoling her by soothing her so quickly after she starts making noises and crying.
For example, when she wants a toy or a snack that she could easily get to on her own and we don't give it to her right away, she starts crying.
my way of thinking is that babies need a push or a little struggling on their own to reach certain milestones and improve their self-sufficiency.
Am I wrong to think this way?
Our baby, as I said is 15 mo. old, and still isn't walking on her own. She cruises from one furniture to the next or walks holding somebody's hand but is too cautious to do it on her own.
When I try to let go off her hand and stand within reach so if she falls I can catch her, she stills cries.
what do you guys think?
This is our first child, and my wife says that you can't really spoil kids this young.
At first I was going to say one thing (when I thought baby baby and not toddler), but 15 months is about that time you really need to have them start solving heir own problems (obviously the ones they can solve).
Even at the very young age of 15 months little munchkins have already started to figure some things out....sounds like she's learned she can get her way by crying and that her mom is going to give in every time. And even though mom wants to be protective and nurturing, what's she doing is being over-protective and this could be one reason your daughter won't try to walk on her own. Time to squelch this now or you'll have bigger issues down the road.
I actually remember one incident when I was a baby. I was in the living room and dad and mom were there. I was having a good time watching what was going on. (I could not talk, just cry. And I could not move on my own, someone had to move me.)
Anyway the doorbell rang and two people were there. They had come over to visit. The lady looked at me sitting on the couch and said something about the cute baby or whatever.
Then my mom picked me up and took me to the back bedroom, then placed me in the crib. I couldn't see what was going on in the living room! The nerve of her!!!! And I wanted to stay in the living room and watch those people.
I couldn't talk, so I just started crying my head off. No one came after me, so eventually I gave up and stopped crying.
Even at the very young age of 15 months little munchkins have already started to figure some things out....sounds like she's learned she can get her way by crying and that her mom isgoing to give in every time. And even though mom wants to be protective and nurturing, what's she doing is being over-protective and this could be one reason your daughter won't try to walk on her own. Time to squelch this now or you'll have bigger issues down the road.
I agree.
If your toddler can reach for and get the toy herself but has learned to cry and have Mommy get the toy for her that is stifling the child's independence. Mommy is not allowing her child to learn age appropriate problem solving skills and the joy of accomplishing tasks by herself.
As a teacher, I have seen this overprotectiveness carried to extremes with some children and it is not a pretty sight. It also get much harder to change as the child gets older (3 and above).
At only 15 months it shouldn't be too difficult to encourage more independence but the worry would be if the OPs spouse continues to do things for the child that she is able to do for herself and the child continues to expect that everything will be done for her.
I actually remember one incident when I was a baby. I was in the living room and dad and mom were there. I was having a good time watching what was going on. (I could not talk, just cry. And I could not move on my own, someone had to move me.)
Anyway the doorbell rang and two people were there. They had come over to visit. The lady looked at me sitting on the couch and said something about the cute baby or whatever.
Then my mom picked me up and took me to the back bedroom, then placed me in the crib. I couldn't see what was going on in the living room! The nerve of her!!!! And I wanted to stay in the living room and watch those people.
I couldn't talk, so I just started crying my head off. No one came after me, so eventually I gave up and stopped crying.
You have memories of when you were a baby?
Are you serious?
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To all the other posters; Thanks for your responses.
I feel that my wife is overprotective because she works a lot and doesn't get to spend much time with our baby, so she can't stand seeing her crying.
But I think I will need to talk to her about it. As someone said, before it's too late.
It sounds like a little more independence is what she needs, especially after seeing the comments that she isn't walking on her own yet without help. Girls tend to start walking earlier than boys, anywhere from 10 to 14 months I would consider "normal", 15 months and counting is a little alarming.
Crying for want and Screaming for need are two different things and should be clear and distinctly identifiable by you. Letting a kid cry it out in a tantrum should be fine, it's how they learn and shouldn't last more than a couple minutes.
It sounds like a little more independence is what she needs, especially after seeing the comments that she isn't walking on her own yet without help. Girls tend to start walking earlier than boys, anywhere from 10 to 14 months I would consider "normal", 15 months and counting is a little alarming.
Crying for want and Screaming for need are two different things and should be clear and distinctly identifiable by you. Letting a kid cry it out in a tantrum should be fine, it's how they learn and shouldn't last more than a couple minutes.
No, it's not alarming.
It's normal, actually up to 18 months from what I've been reading.
Yes, by 15 months it's OK to let a child cry for a "little" bit. That means, IMO, you have time to turn off the stove, wash your hands, or whatever before you check on the child, IF you know the child is physically OK.
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