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Old 04-01-2014, 08:22 AM
 
Location: account deleted
73 posts, read 88,039 times
Reputation: 214

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Quote:
Originally Posted by nightcrawler View Post
if they were taught responsibility they would never have to come back home, they would have had a savings of emergency to fall back on till they got another job.
unemployment happens to any one of us, but if your smart you have a savings for a rainy day, and dont let yourself go broke and homeless.
Very few young adults.....for that matter very few older adults have enough savings to last very long. It's not due to irresponsibility it's the times we live in. My husband and I had investments and lost it all a few years back, so did many other people. We are older and this scared us too death because now all we'll have is SS to live on. Most people these days are just trying to survive. Not everyone makes enough money to be able to build a huge nest egg. Even with savings it won't last long when you pay the monthly bills with no income coming in. I knew a man that had a great job, had a lovely home. The company downsized (do you know how often this happened?) and he lost his job. They were lucky and had savings but it didn't last forever. His wife still had her job but it certainly didn't come close to paying the bills. They tried to sell their home but millions of homes were being Foreclosed and nobody was buying homes. It's been years since that happened, they lost everything but each other. He sent in more resumes than Carter has liver pills and ended up taking a job for $9.00 hour to keep food on the table. Relocating is not an option now even if he got offered a job because they are broke. For a while they moved in his family after their saving was gone until he found a job at a local Vet cleaning cages. Quite a drop from his previous job. This is just one true story. They continue to live in a very small Apartment and they can't afford to save any money, they are too busy trying to survive. Millions of people are still out of work the numbers are not accurate because they dropped off the radar when they could no longer get unemployment or they weren't eligible. A LOT of companies closed and I continue to see a business close from time to time. We lost quite a few businesses, a few of those made a big impact.

I never knew my grandmothers they both died before I was born but I knew my great grandmother who lived through the depression. She told me her family was actually lucky because they lived on a farm. During the summer they could grow some food, got milk from a cow etc. They still struggled and went without but she said she never turned away anyone who was hungry that showed up at her backdoor. I like to think I learned compassion from her. She was fine lady. If any of my grown children showed up at my door and needed help I would never turn them away and I wouldn't ask why they didn't have savings. Why pour salt in an open wound? I would open my heart and home to them.
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Old 04-01-2014, 09:02 AM
 
23,423 posts, read 13,483,285 times
Reputation: 24441
Quote:
Originally Posted by TwoTexan's View Post
He sent in more resumes than Carter has liver pills....
You are old!

However, I remember Carter's Liver Pills, so I'm old too.
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Old 04-01-2014, 09:47 AM
 
32,525 posts, read 32,980,598 times
Reputation: 32455
Quote:
Originally Posted by TwoTexan's View Post

I never knew my grandmothers they both died before I was born but I knew my great grandmother who lived through the depression. She told me her family was actually lucky because they lived on a farm. During the summer they could grow some food, got milk from a cow etc. They still struggled and went without but she said she never turned away anyone who was hungry that showed up at her backdoor. I like to think I learned compassion from her. She was fine lady.
Yes, I too have heard those stories. They went through poverty most of us can't imagine yet continued to be give what they could. They not only survived themselves, they helped total strangers survive. They were incredible people.
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Old 04-01-2014, 10:34 AM
 
457 posts, read 556,855 times
Reputation: 401
Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
If an adult child is moving back home after 35 due to the economy then it must be pretty bad.
No rules except don't make a mess and don't do things that bother people. By 35 I don't think you need to "set down rules". That seems a little ok very crazy.
"It MUST BE pretty bad"??? Where have you been since 2007??
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Old 04-02-2014, 11:30 AM
 
659 posts, read 752,071 times
Reputation: 840
It really depends on the type of person they result in as adults; however from my familial experience, I would not allow adult children to live with me for more than 3 months.

I have sisters in their 30's who could never leave the home. They would be out in their own for about a year then would go right back to their mother and father. Rinse and repeat. They both work full time jobs, too, but never seem to have a goal of independence in mind.

Why should they when my parents have revolving home doors?

Me on the other hand have never had to stay with them. I learned at a young age that when you become an adult, you prepare to live as such.
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Old 04-02-2014, 11:53 AM
 
659 posts, read 752,071 times
Reputation: 840
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ralph_Kirk View Post
Said someone who did not work for Enron.

I think the very idea of "move out and never come back" is simply a bad social idea. It's really only one generation old anyway--purely another broken Boomer concept that's likely to be shown as defective as it really is by the time we Boomers are dead.
I don't get your first sentence at all.

The.poster you are replying to said emergency and savings fund.

Enron would have had nothing to do with those assets.
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Old 04-02-2014, 12:01 PM
 
Location: New York city
133 posts, read 136,108 times
Reputation: 275
I don't necessarily believe people who are dependent upon relatives are doomed if their parents and/or relatives pass away. Are they at a disadvantage? Probably, but definitely not majorly disadvantaged beyond repair.

Taking care of yourself is pretty instinctual, probably more so than people realize. You find ways to move on and care for yourself, or worst case scenario, find other people to help you.

Growing up I was very dependent on my nanny and some of my parents house staff to care for me. Hell, they even dressed me up until I was fifteen, helped me plan outfits, curled my hair in the mornings, etc. Apart from wiping my butt, they did everything. And no, I wasn't special needs, just spoiled. Once I moved out I knew I had to leave those people behind. I knew they wouldn't be there to clean up my messes.

Did I die? No. Did I not make it? Nope, I was just fine. I had never boiled water or made a bed or any of those things, but I made it. Was I at a big advantage compared to my peers? Probably, but I caught on quickly and learned. You do what you have to.

There is this weird obsession with being super independent. My ex is that way too, so maybe that's why it is off putting. It isn't everything. Some people just don't understand that while others may depend solely on themselves, some of us have family we can lean on as constantly as we want to.

Either extreme is unhealthy. Some lean on others, others do not. It depends on the family dynamic.
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Old 04-02-2014, 02:45 PM
 
1,851 posts, read 3,121,903 times
Reputation: 2368
Lightbulb I'll explain...

Quote:
Originally Posted by KeraKera View Post
I don't get your first sentence at all.

The.poster you are replying to said emergency and savings fund.

Enron would have had nothing to do with those assets.
The people who worked at Enron DID have a savings fund - it was called a 401(k) plan. Incidentally, most of their stock in this plan was Enron's. Enron's management gambled their employees' money away and went under...and their employees' savings went *Poof*! Gone like a flash storm. Enron had EVERYTHING to do with that.

Emergency funds are just that, emergency. Most don't have enough in them to last three months let alone over 20+ years.
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Old 04-02-2014, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Sinkholeville
1,501 posts, read 1,555,793 times
Reputation: 2332
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frustrated Hippy View Post

Taking care of yourself is pretty instinctual, probably more so than people realize. You find ways to move on and care for yourself, or worst case scenario, find other people to help you.

.
And we have countless millions on welfare, living off the government, because they never had to support themselves.

Kick your kids out of Mom's basement for their own good. It's also good for America!
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Old 04-02-2014, 08:39 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,164 posts, read 20,418,570 times
Reputation: 49168
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frustrated Hippy View Post
I don't necessarily believe people who are dependent upon relatives are doomed if their parents and/or relatives pass away. Are they at a disadvantage? Probably, but definitely not majorly disadvantaged beyond repair.

Taking care of yourself is pretty instinctual, probably more so than people realize. You find ways to move on and care for yourself, or worst case scenario, find other people to help you.

Growing up I was very dependent on my nanny and some of my parents house staff to care for me. Hell, they even dressed me up until I was fifteen, helped me plan outfits, curled my hair in the mornings, etc. Apart from wiping my butt, they did everything. And no, I wasn't special needs, just spoiled. Once I moved out I knew I had to leave those people behind. I knew they wouldn't be there to clean up my messes.

Did I die? No. Did I not make it? Nope, I was just fine. I had never boiled water or made a bed or any of those things, but I made it. Was I at a big advantage compared to my peers? Probably, but I caught on quickly and learned. You do what you have to.

There is this weird obsession with being super independent. My ex is that way too, so maybe that's why it is off putting. It isn't everything. Some people just don't understand that while others may depend solely on themselves, some of us have family we can lean on as constantly as we want to.

Either extreme is unhealthy. Some lean on others, others do not. It depends on the family dynamic.
Your key phrase is "growing up". That is very different than when "adults" are in their 30s, 40s, 50s and are still dependent on their parents for all of their needs. Imagine someone who is 35 or 45 or 55 and they have never held a regular job, never successfully lived on their own, never handled their own finances and perhaps never even learned to cook or clean. Now imagine that their parents pass away. I assume that it would be extremely difficult for that "adult" to manage on their own.
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